BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Health Question

Hi,

I live in the UK. I am thirty-seven years old and married but will not be having children. Recently a lady at the pharmacy told me that by not having a child I was at a much higher risk of breast, ovarian and womb cancer and she handed me a leaflet about these cancers. In the leaflet it lists women at a higher risk of these cancers and women without children at a certain age was in the list but the leaflet itself did not state how high the risk was or any statistics. I am afraid of looking on the internet or asking at my doctors. Does anyone know anything about this? It isn't the first time someone has made this comment to me and when it happened again last week at the pharmacy I started to worry because of the way the woman said it to me.

Thanks.

There arev lies, damned lies and statistics.

I think it was unkind of this woman to make such statements.
it's not as if you can go out quickly and have children to try to prevent anything, is it??
I will never have children. But am I really provably any more at risk? I doubt it. Too many other factors to take into consideration.
Best to look at the family history and prevalence in your immediate loved ones. This is a far more reliable measure of likelihood.

Please be calm and rational.

Let's face it. If I was run over by a careless lorry driver today, I would be dying in perfect health! So silly to be frightened of what may never be! Relax!

Actually, I believe I've read that if you are on the BC pill, you are at a lower risk for ovarian cancer.

Anyway, having kids to try to prevent cancer in yourself (if that's even possible) would be a pretty rotten reason to have kids! (Not saying anyone here would do that, of course!) "Yes, honey, I had you to lower my risk of breast cancer." Wouldn't a kid love to know that's why they were brought into the world?

The best way to prevent cancer is to go to your yearly doctor visit on time each year. Or if you notice a lump or anything suspicious, go see your doctor right away. I know at least two women whose mothers (meaning they had kids!) died of cancer (one cervical, one breast). They had symptoms, but were scared to go to the doctor and find out what it was, so by the time they went the cancer was so advanced it couldn't be treated successfully. Very sad.

Cindy

Hi Lawren,

My Mom and sister are breast cancer survivors, and my sister (she's actually younger than me, 31) has also had several bouts with cervical cancer. It's definitely a concern of mine, especially because I have also not had children (my sister hasn't either, and she had bc at 29). But it's too late anyway, because they say the risk factor is if you haven't had a child by the age of 30. So even if I had one right now, I don't think it would help me in the risk category.

Children are permanent, and cancer, thank God, for the most part, is treatable. There is no cure for children, aside from not having them I can't see having kids, and doing something you don't want to do for 20 + years to somehow stave off cancer. I'm not saying you would do this, just thinking out loud. And I have also given this a lot of thought.

I've read statistics that parents are typically heavier than nonparents, because they eat out a lot, the stress, etc. So I would say that parents, carrying a lot of extra weight, and of questionable health, may be more susceptible to other illnesses. Weight gain, plus the daily stress of having kids could be enough to give anyone a heart attack, if you ask me.

I guess I am trying to say I wouldn't be overly concerned about this. There are risks and benefits to any choice we make in life. My Mom had breast cancer when we were all still in school. And I think the fact that she had young children while she had cancer stressed her out all the more. There was still work to be done around the house, and of course she was worried that maybe she wouldn't be around for her children. IMO, it would be a lot easier to deal with cancer if you didn't have the additional stress of children. We deal with things when they happen to us, and somehow we get through.

My Mom had bc at 38, and she will be 56 in June. She's doing fine. I hope my sister will be as successful in her recovery.

I meant to ask, is this woman a pharmacist, or doctor? Just curious. I think it was a little forward of her to give you this information. That would be like me giving a pamphlet on the risks of having children later in life to an older pregnant woman. Not much they can do about it, and I'm sure the information wouldn't be welcome.

My family was asking me about my reproductive choices this weekend, and I said something about us being too old. I'm 35, and my DH2B is going to be 40 this year. My cousin is 39 and her husband is 46, and I know they've been trying for another child. She was making comparisons to herself, and I bit my tongue. I know that she has had two miscarriages recently. I am really concerned for her and a potential baby's safety.

Hi Lawren,
I lost my dad to cancer. So my take on this is that cancer is very much about accumulated lifestyle, mental stress issues. Or...in my dad's case, random luck.

If I were you, I would not let the woman's words affect me so much. Statistics are OK for reference but they are averages and majority. We each have a special life to live. Many people have cancer despite having children. So having children is a stupid way to solve this issue...if it's a valid issue at all!

In the end, our bodies need an excuse to die. Some people even die in their sleep! So while we are healthy and living, let's live our best - eat well..take care of ourselves. The rest, we can just say "F*ck it!". No point spending your healthy times on worrying about what that woman said.

You define the quality of your life. I would choose quality of life over quantity any given day of the week.

Definitely there are plenty of other health risks that you gain by having children. What if you hemorrhage? What if you get split? What happens if your baby ends up with some weird disease?

So I wouldn't worry about it.

But this does remind me ... we saw a very conservative mini-van the other day. It had all kinds of crazy bumper stickers and stuff. The one I couldn't believe I saw was a pink ribbon with the following written on it:

The Pill = Breast Cancer

When I had a mammogram, I asked the Dr. about the higher risk for breast cancer when not having kids. She said there is a higher risk, but it is very small and not to worry about it. Just get your regular mammograms and stay healthy.

We are much more likely get in auto accident from driving. Think about it. That is the most dangerous thing we do everyday.

I question whether the info in that pamphlet is even conclusive, especially if it is being handed to you as a scare tactic. Even if there is some truth to the stats, I wonder why she zeroed in on that instead of handing you literature about stress, smoking, drinking, sun exposure, and salted cured meats?! If you don't have kids and/or don't intend to have them, how is that "info" helpful in any way? As Ingilbert sez, there are tons of medical problems you can get by having kids.

My brother and my FIL are both cancer survivors, and I know several women who have had biological kids who have had cancer. I am with MettaMaid, knowledge is power. If you can learn more about the risk factors in context, this will be a lot less scary. There is an article on bellaonline that might give a little perspective: BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

I actually heard a similar version of statistics relating kids and breast cancer. But not only that, the stats I heard included Jewish women who have kids before the age of 23, 25, 30, and after 35. With each successive age category the risk of developing breast cancer supposedly increases drastically (although I do not remember the numbers).

Frightening!