Hi,

I've been reading up a bit about Dissociative Identity & Multiple Personality disorders. I feel I may have a very mild case of DID. I live a secret life (maybe alter-ego?) but am also living a normal life in a happy relationship. However every so often I revert back into my secret life. (in fact nearly every day) I'm very embarrassed about this and wanted to know if anybody else has been through the same thing. I feel alone. I have read lots of stories, however haven't seen anyone tell more about their alter egos. So here goes... I have a secret life where I'm in a relationship with a male from a band. I live as if I really know him and his band mates, and that they all are great friends with me. I have full on conversations with him and basically use him to tell my secrets to. He is like my Counsellor, I even answer for him. I guess I'm giving the answers that I want to hear. I feel so silly telling anybody about this and I don't want anybody to judge me. It's my reality and I don't know what to do?
I need to add that as a child I was sexually abused and haven't really dealt with it. I've told people about my abuse but I've always put my mask on and been brave about it. So I'm thinking I have created this male character to be my guardian and watch over me, when really it's actually me protecting myself. I guess I use him as a way to deal with the trauma & stress within my life.
Sorry I'm rambling and self diagnosing. Has anybody been through this? Please help