BellaOnline Forums Family Siblings What is the best age gap between siblings?

The more I read this thread the more I think there is no way to make a rule. If I have a needy child, six years apart sounds great. If I have a content one, why not give her company sooner. Also, it depends on how much help one has. Grandparents close by or other help makes it more possible to have children close together. If I am alone at home much of the week, a greater gap maybe better. So, it is all just another way to grow up.

I am the oldest of 5, but my family tree gets complicated. I am the only child of my mom and dad, and each of my parents had two children after me. So I have a brother who is almost exactly 3 years younger than I from my mom, and a sister who is a month younger than my brother from my dad. Then I have a sister who is 13 years younger than I from my mom, and a brother who is 13.5 years younger than I from my dad. Try explaining THAT one in school lol.

I think the 3 year age gap is just about perfect, both from a sibling and a parent point of view. Close enough to be friends, in the same school, etc, but far enough out that the older is probably potty trained, can eat on their own, play, etc.

My daughter is almost 4 years older than my son, we'll see how well it works, he is only 4 months old now. So far though, she is just old enough to want to be helpful and still be pretty independent. She can put her own movies on, get silverware, put things in the washer, etc...and still be young enough to want to do it, lol.

Dez

I would say that every kid having different personality traits that could be considered desireable or not desireable depending on how you look at it. Busy bossy 7 year old that drives mom crazy could be a great CEO some day and take his mom on vacations every year. I see it as similar for age gaps. There are advantages and disadvantages to every situation. Close gaps mean more stress for mom when they are tiny, maybe less stress later because they can be buddies and keep each other entertained. Bigger gaps may make it somewhat easier on parents, but their kids will have somewhat different relationships than if they were sharing a lot of experiences at similar ages.

My sister and I were 4 years apart, but 5 grades apart. I would have loved to have had more time in school with her, but we only got Kindergarten with 5th grade, senior year with 7th grade, and we completely missed college. However, we are at more similar places in life now as adults (not exactly, but we are both in our 30's now), so it is easy to relate to her, like it was when we both under age 12.

I'm the new editor, just getting started on the forum, so I am anxious to peruse some of the other responses. I'm curious!

Erika - Siblings Editor

My Dad has always said he had 2 "only children." My brother is nearly 7 years younger than me. My parents ended up with two kids who were different genders, far apart in age, and had totally different personalities.
(They were originally shooting for a 4 to 5 year age gap, but it just didn't work out that way.)

When he was a baby, I was able to help out a little with his care.
When he was a toddler, I was already old enough to babysit him him for short periods of time. (I became his unpaid primary non-school hours sitter by the time he was about 4 and hated it.)But that is just the early years downside.

Fast forward to the year he turned 11 and I turned 18. He was just getting close to old enough to talk to, to become friends with, and I was gone.

He's 19 now and we haven't lived in the same town since that time. I only see him a few times a year. He's old enough now that, even with such drastically different personalities, we might become friends. Instead, we communicate like acquaintances who share mutual old friends (our parents). He was too far behind me growing up and we never really got a chance to get to know each other.