Hi, Ive been chatting online with a man for a few months now, we were just friends. I knew he was married with 2 kids and I respect that. We talked and vented to each other about my bad relationships with men and he told me about problems he was having with his wife... apparently she treats him horribly and has for many years. He told me one time that he had enough of her and he was divorcing her, he filed for divorce. About 3 weeks later he was traveling up north (he lives about 4 hours south of me)and he was traveling through the town I live in and he asked if we could meet, so we did, we met for dinner (this was the first time we met) We really hit it off and now we are having a long distance relationship. His wife thinks Im the reason he left her and Im not. I had nothing to do with him wanting to leave her. My question is even though the state we live in is a no fault state will he and I seeing each other affect his child custody? I dont want him to lose his kids because were dating. I also want to mention that before we realized we liked each other I suggested ways to work on his marriage including counseling and I also told him that if he decided he wants to work things out with his wife I wouldnt stand in his way, I would back off and let him work on his marriage. He insists that he doesnt love her anymore and that he hasnt in a long time and that his marriage is over. He seems very honest and I do trust him. I realize I may just be his rebound so Im being cautious. thanks for listening.

Sure you aren't the direct reason for the divorce BUT you could very well be the "icing on the cake" so to speak that gave him that last push to get out of the marriage. As far as custody goes, since you are in a no fault state, the court doesn't even have to know about you. What will matter is where he is living, does he have room for the kids, does he make good money or does she make more, etc.

Is it true that this man is more in love with you than you are?

I agree I dont think that you are the direct reason why he is divorcing but you definitely pushed him. One thing I learned is dont believe people on the internet like that. You can be who ever you want on the internet. In addition you and him are not in a real situation with real life stresses. To him you are the grass that is greener on the other side. It magnifies what his wife lacked. But to answer your question, because he lives in a no fault state whether the courts, his wife, or the world knows about you that will not affect what will happen to the children. They will probably be required to say irreconcilable differences. Trust me my ex husband cheated on me and I wanted him to pay and in addition he is in the military where infidelity is supposed to be against the law. Nothing at all happend to him or his relationship with the kids.

Frankly, I am kind of surprised you did what you are saying. If it were my husband I would have been VERY upset if you, involved yourself in our lives AND make no mistake, that is exactly what you did. If he had spent half the time and effort on working on his marriage, their marriage might be in a different place its in now.

AND you really believed it when he cried his sad story that his horrible mean wife treats him so badly?? Come on, be serious. If you were a cheating, lying husband what would you say to get a womens attention?? EVERYTHING he told you. You swallowed it all hook line and sinker. Some people can't leave one relationship without having another in place.

I would never date a man who is committed to someone else, or SHOULD be. Keep in mind that he has so little integrity that he has done this. You don't seem to think its that bad but put yourself in his wife's position...he will do the same to you one day. He lacks integrity with his wife, he will have the same problem with you as well.

I dated a guy who told me he was waiting for his final papers on the divorce. I found out later he lied to me, he had not even filed for the divorce and was looking for a little fun. I ended up being with a man who was still married. I hated myself for being so stupid.