BellaOnline Forums Relationships Divorce When is enough, enough?

If you have to think about it, its time to call it a day.

I am from a divorced family and I think that my parents getting a divorce was the best thing in the world that could of happened to our family because I got my parents back. Then down the line when I got married and was having problems I knew it was ok to get out of the awful situation I was in because I knew that it would be so much better for my children to have me focus on them and not on the problems and lies that my husband and i were having.Everyone should take the chance in life to be happy because life is to short to be miserable.

Wow the divorce laws in PA sound horrific! In Washington it is a no fault state, if you want a divorce you just go file for one, and it doesn't matter if disagrees or ignores it, or even fights it. If one party wants a divorce, there will be a divorce. My cousin went through the whole if you leave it is considered abandoment thing when she lived in CO, I think that is a stupid law, if you are terrified of the person, or if the relationship needs to end, why are you forced to stay in it? And whose definition of "intimate relations" means forgiveness? Is coercion rape or forgiveness, and who decides? Him?

Bit of a rant there, sorry. You know when you need a divorce. You know because when you look at him you don't feel love, you feel ... noithing...fear, anxiety, bewilderment. You are afraid to ask something that matters to you because you are scared of how he might react. You are on pins and needles that this time he will go too far when diciplinging the children. When you doubt what he is telling you is truth, when you actually start to wonder who he is with besides you.

I am divorced, but I complicated my divorce by getting back together with my ex and living with him for another 2 years before it all spiraled out of control. I should have taken the hint the first time around and listened to my intuiition, but I ignored it and the second time around at least I was smart enough not to marry him again.

I am also the child of divorce. I can tell you from my memories and from watching my children, that divorce, though very painful, is less painful than watching your parents fight or knowing your children are listening. Is it better for our daughters to see us treated so inhumanely? For our sons to witness our degredation? To see our parents fight so much that you go to friends houses to escape the fear?

You know in your heart when it is time to end the pain. Even Jesus says that when a woman is abused, or a man an adulter, divorce is legal. And we don't have to suffer broken bones, damaged ears, or death, for it to be abuse.

Dez

Would you have quit your MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER, SISTER if they had behaved in a similar way to you????

You have the answer!!!

You have to look in to yourself then. You need to love this person to the extent you love your blood relations. Do this first and then tell me if you still need to quit!