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#317771 05/28/07 09:49 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
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What three things do you live by? What keeps you strong and focused in your daily life?

Please share!!

Last edited by kristen houghton; 05/28/07 09:51 AM.

"Allow your dreams to become your plans."

Kristen

Kristen Houghton
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Trust. In the 4 1/2 years we have been together, we have never broken our foundation of trust with eachother. Yes, there have been times of being upset and whatnot, but the trust has never been broken.

Communication. 95% of the time we communicate well. The only problem with our communication is that we think very differently. So one of us is trying to explain something or make a point, sometimes we get a bit frustrated because the other person is taking it the wrong way, because the way our minds work. Like, Im meaning one thing, but he thinks of it as something else, but I don't know how else to explain it for him to understand what Im saying, yet he THINKS he knows what I mean even though he doesn't. Then he tells me that Im just repeating myself and that he gets what Im saying, then he gets annoyed at the repetition, when Im simply just trying to word it so it makes more sense. Then we lose track of the original point. That can be very frustrating, good thing it doesn't happen too often! but generally we are calm in our discussions and work out any problem through talking - or sometimes letters or email, if I can't get my point across through words. (I express myself easier through writing) But even though we have that slight problem once in awhile, we always find a way to communicate effectively to eachother.

Patience. My husband is one of the most patient people I have ever met. Which is interesting because he is also very stubborn, likes things a certain way and is actually more neat and tidy than I am and very anal about it.
But even through his stubborness he is still very patient with everyone. When he has a problem with me, or someone else, he speaks calmly and nicely. He only gets upset or frustrated if the other person is being disrespectful back. His patience has taught me patience as well. It took awhile, but I'm getting better at it.

One other thing that kind of ties in with all 3, trust, communication and patience, is right from the beginning of our relationship, we agreed that any problem we come across will be dealt with asap. And that we will not go to bed angry at eachother, and that neither of us will take the couch for the night... ever. Not only that, but in our entire relationship we have never once called eachother names in arguements. We try to keep the swearing to a minimum too, or at least not direct it to eachother. To this day I have only seen him ANGRY towards me once that I can think of MAYBE twice. And I have only been angry with him once or twice. And even then, it passed quickly and moved on. We don't hold grudges with eachother. Leave the past in the past - but learn from it.

Last edited by lala21; 05/28/07 01:26 PM.
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Beautifully written, Lala!!

My three:
1.
Never, ever leave each other in anger. Make "I Love You" the words you use before you go your separate ways during the day.
2.
Bed is not a place for anger. Cuddling up to the one you love is a whole lot nicer than holding on to your anger.
3.
Love yourself; sacrifice is overrated


"Allow your dreams to become your plans."

Kristen

Kristen Houghton
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The three things I live by whether I was married or not are:

1) Trust my intuitions. I have always had an unbelievable ability to know when something was not quite right, or that I should remove myself from situations or open myself up to meeting new people, etc. And my gut has NEVER been wrong! Intuitions for me also means belief in myself and my abilities, rather than allowing what other may think or say about me take hold in my subconscience. Your subconscience has no sense of humor so if someone says something half-joking that is a negative or hurtful comment. I erase it asap with a true affirmation about myself that is factual;ie, You ARE worthy of this new job, because you have prepared for it completely, and you ARE worthy of it and much more! (of course, I say this to myself if you are still in the original company)...lol. But it still works.

2)Be true to yourself first! I don't feel you can truely help another or love another, without taking care of yourself first. And by being true I mean, know your emotional, physical, and spiritual abililties for yourself in your current timeframe. Once you are replenished in whatever area you needed to fill, then and only then can you completely help, love, or just be there for another in need.

3)Always know you are not alone! Whatever your spiritual/metaphysical/etc. beliefs are, I feel it's important to stay intune with the positive energy force that is always with us. For some that may be traditional christian beliefs, for others it may be living as Buddha would have them live, others it could be just knowing that there is another level of Great Positive Energy to feel and heal yourselves through and look to for clairity or guidance. Whatever your beliefs, if they lift you up and give your relief and peace, then cling to that! Have tremendous faith, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And YOU ARE LOVED!

I am glad I had the opportunity to share these things with all of you. Thanks for asking for this, Kristen. Wishing you all great positive energy!

M. Brown

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M. Brown, what a wonderful well thought out post! I am so glad you wrote this.

Your message is powerful and beautiful. I agree with it all. I have always trusted my instincts, too. Never have they been wrong.

The part about the positive energy, not being alone, and being loved will stay with me and be incorporated into my life.

Many thanks!!


"Allow your dreams to become your plans."

Kristen

Kristen Houghton
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Hey there! I'm glad it spoke to you. I have enjoyed reading your post also. I think you have great insight. Isn't funny how so many times as women(if we mention our gut feelings to someone)we are told that we are overthinking it, making to much out of something, etc. and I have found sometimes I back off thinking okay maybe they are right, then it always goes full circle and proves I was spot on with my intuitions!?!?!

I have decided not to second guess myself ever again. But that doesn't mean I can make someone else see it from where I am. They have to get there at their own speed. (I'm speaking specifically about my husband now...lol). Now I just throw out what I sensing and leave there for him to think about...and sometimes he uses it and sometimes not, and on the times when he doesn't and it comes back as correct intuition, I know for a fact he pays more attention the next time...lol.

I think women are just connected differently on our hard drives! HA! I always joke with my husband that men lost something major when they left off that extra leg on the Y chromosome...hee,hee

Have a great day!, M.

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Someone told me once that after a partner dies, you remember every mean thing you ever said or did. I always try to remember that when DH and I are fighting. While conflict does happen, and sometimes clears the air, I don't want us to be cruel to each other, ever.

I also am true to myself. I love my DH but I am forever my own person. My identity is my own, we are distinct individuals, but we choose to be together and make a hell of a team!

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Originally Posted By: kristen houghton
What three things do you live by? What keeps you strong and focused in your daily life?

Please share!!


Faith in myself
Faith in GOD
Faith in my partner
Reading GITA (That is what is available to me)
Reading other well known Scripts.
Knowing myself
Knowing my strength
Knowing my weakness

Others see my weakness better, instead of quarrelling with my partner for seeing my weakness I see that as a positive comment and work nullifying it.


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