BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids another dumb reason to have kids, i think...

"..I sometimes want someone else to share things with too, besides my husband. Hard to explain, I know. I guess it's nice to have someone to look up to you..."

They may not always look up to you. But then again they might!
I want to make more friendship connections. I have some good friends but I'd like some more! Maybe when I have more time from my career I will get into more stuff like interest groups and courses and maybe meet people that way.

P.P.S. the one that REALLY ANNOYED ME (dumb reason to have kids) was someone saying they felt more "spiritual". Not as in religious either. And that annoyed me because you don't HAVE to have kids if you are spiritual!
You know, the two are not neccessarily mutually exclusive!
In fact for me, being childfree has given me more time and energy to find my own spiritual path and nurture that!

I have a friend that I went to school with who guts and remodels houses on the side. He was telling me about a new house he bought to remodel because he "got bored" because he finished the last house. Which I understand. THEN he starts telling me about his new daughter, and he says, "that's what you do when you get bored, you buy houses and have kids! Otherwise, how else do you keep busy?"

It just floored me - have kids because otherwise you'll be bored? I can understand remodeling houses (he sells them for a nice profit) but having kids for the same reason? Ugh.

People that think like this are so simple. It just reinforces the statistics, that the less intelligent and educated are more likely to have kids. None of the intelligent people I respect in my life would ever say something like this.

I hear ya, I can think of lots of other things to do. And you don't just go to the park, it's like a ritual. You have to pack a bag, in case the kid gets hungry, thirsty, messes their pants, sneezes or gets so dirty that they need a change of clothes. And of course there is the annoying car seat and stroller that you have to deal with. If I had small kids, I would just keep them in the house. It's less of a hassle!

I feel the same way about people that find God after they've done lots of drugs. It's so lame. I feel like saying, why don't you spend some quiet time in nature. The people you describes are so weak, because it's like they can't be spiritual on their own. They have to bring someone else into the equation.

See I don't get this from someone that has a legitimate, and rewarding hobby. And, what's wrong with having free time. Sometimes I think people "keep busy" so they don't have to deal with feelings or other aspects of their life.

I think some couples "keep busy" with their kids so they don't have to look at what's going on with their relationship. It's like a smokescreen.

Hi, I am not CF, but I thought this thread looked interesting.

I was curious; What would y'all consider a good reason for having kids?

Hi BellaHarmony! I'll think about this some more but top of my head good reasons?
Because you wanted them more than anything else.
Because you knew of all the sacrifices etc. involved and were prepared to make them and invest (time, money etc.) into your child/ren. (As you believed the joys were greater. But even if they weren't you were prepared to take that risk.)
Because you loved children - some of us like even love kids but don't want our own by the way - SO much you wanted to spend most of your life around them.
Because it was a major life aim and one you were really committed to and one you'd REALLY thought about and (ideally!) prepared for!
Because you thought doing "kiddie stuff" with kids was REALLY fun.
These are what come to mind!
And if you wanted a partner and co-parent to be involved, they should have these reasons too!
In my humble opinion.

Good question! I think having a genuine interest in children of all ages. Wanting to a nurture a child through all of the stages that is their childhood, and being willing to make the sacrifices that are needed to be a good parent. And, being willing to accept whatever that child ultimately becomes (as long as it isn't destructive), which may not match up to what the parent had in mind.

I know it might sound weird that I have an opinion about this since I am CF, but I given it TONS of thought.

I've also seen the dark side of parenting, and it's pretty depressing. My sister has a son that she barely interacts with. She is in denial that she's a parent, and it isn't fair to her 7-year-old son. And because she had her son with an idiot, my nephew doesn't have a father either. And he's just dying for her to care.

I've seen this happen too many times, and there are way too many unwanted kids in the world. It's heartbreaking. So I think people really need to start asking themselves these questions before they sign up for parenting.

I think a good reason to have a child is because a person wants to love and have positive influences toward raising another person to become a responsible, self-supporting, societal-contributing adult, through ALL the phases of childhood and teenage-hood.

Of course, it is not necessary to have your OWN child to do this, there are plenty of outlets to make a positive influence on already existing children, in a variety of ways, if a person is so inclined. Big Brothers/Sisters, nieces/nephews, teaching, mentoring, etc.

In this thread, we've been discussing what are NOT good reasons to have kids, such as: To fit in with everyone else, because your spouse wants to have one (and you don't), to provide grandkids for someone else, to have someone to take care of you when you're old, because it's "what you do", because you're bored, etc.

Cindy