BellaOnline Forums Education Homeschooling Stereotypical HS child

So, I have been in a rather long discussion on another board where we have been discussing the stereotype of a homeschooled child. About 2000+ posts in, and after discussing Evan O'Dourne winning the spelling bee, it occurred to me that there are people who equate the characteristics of a homeschooled child with those of a child with Aspergers/Autism. This came about after a poster mentioned his awkwardness in a CNN interview, which I myself had seen, and thought to myself that he seems to exhibit some a/a characteristics. (I have no evidence to suggest that he does indeed has Aspergers/Autism other than what I viewed in the interview, and some other sites that implied he showed similar charactersitics to a A/A child) This particular poster made this comment:
"I just saw the interview that the spelling bee champion gave on CNN. He's exactly what many think of when they believe homeschooled children are weird, or have no social skills. Great, he learned to spell a bunch of words, but does anyone really want their child to act like that?"

I was actually taken aback by the implication that children who are homeschooled instead of sent to a traditional public or private school are going to end up with characteristics of a A/A child. It is almost a throwback to when the medical community blamed Autism on non-affectionate mothers.

I offered to this particular poster that perhaps parents of A/A children are more apt to homeschool, especially if the schools in thier area do not offer suffient services for thier child, and/or that perhaps when people with this particular vision of homeschoolers have met a homeschooled child, the child in fact have been A/A, but they were not privvy to that information.

It really struck me as odd, because that hasn't been my experience with any of my homeschooling friends' children, and it seem so incredibly narrow minded.

It is kind of like saying all squares are rectangles, so all rectangles must also be squares~

My son is Aperger's, and that did have something to do with us deciding to homeschool this past year. But...

Everyone that I talked with about homeschooling had "normal" children. My pastor's wife HS their children because they wanted to have their kids learn Christian values as well as the "three Rs". Another friend lives in a school district where the schools consistently score low on testing. Another lives in a district where the schools have a major drug problem.

And then I got to meet a whole bunch of parents that HS,because there is a HS kayaking team where my sons competes, and their reasons are just (if not more) varied.

I think the kids on the autistic spectrum get more press notice - after all they are different. Kind of like a plane crash gets more press than a car wreck - because the former doesn't happen as much as the latter.

One thing I've noticed is that parents of home schooled special needs kids tend to take their kids out into the world more. Part of this is necessity - if you are homeschooling, you can't go to the grocery store while your kids are at school and I think part of it has to do with curriculum choices, they think more about what it is going to take for their kids to be able to be fully functional adults.

The other thing I've noticed is that parents who are obsessively child-centered (the ones who don't seem to be able to let their kids be independant in age-appropriate and safe ways - like my brother's friends parents who only let him go on Boy Scout campouts and overnight school trips if they chaperoned), tend to have children who share a lot of personality traits with A/A kids. I suspect that these parents are more likely to choose to homeschool their kids than some other groups of parents. I think that as adults, you are also more likely to run into these kids because they are the ones who have to i.e. stay near their parents after church rather than hang out on the other side of the room with the rest of the tweens.

Julie

Kristy, now what did I tell you about staying up late at night fighting with these people? LOL

It's like the ppl who don't get homeschooling have to search for reasons why people would.

I saw the CNN interview too and I thought the same as you, but in the last year or so I've met so many ppl who have kids on the spectrum that it didn't really stand out to me that much.

I'm not quite sure what to say about the obsessively child-centered thing. I'm of the attachment parenting persuasion and tons of ppl think I am that way but I can't see my kids reacting like that.

If the parents don't feel the child is ready to go to an overnight alone, then they are probably right. I don't let my kids play in the front yard alone and the oldest is of middle school age. Until they are old enough to fight off a full grown male, they aren't going to be playing in the yard alone.

Meg

I will be homeschooling (if you don't already consider me a homeschooler becasue of my son getting intense therapy). I belong to several HS groups. PS can give diagnoses of educational autism without the child seeing a specialist.
Medical diagnoses are not considered by the CDC to get the number of 1 in 150 fromt he schools. This number does not include medical dx kids who do not recieve services through the PS. Distrubing that teachers can give dx and not professionals.

In HS groups the number is much higher! About 1 in 25 at it's lowest. Out over 75 kids I can name 5 with autism.

Obsessively child-centered might not be the best term, but I mean obsessive in the clinical sense. But attachment parenting is definately not what I mean. I guess maybe a better description is people who are micromanaging their kids and thinking about them all the time but not really thinking of their needs as much as controlling them.



I completely agree that parents need to be making the decisions about what is developmentally safe and appropriate for their kids, rather than anyone going by the numbers. But I know from personal experience that even most special needs kids, let alone slow bloomers, have some areas where they want to and can handle being independant. When parents don't let their kids try any of these things, even in safe supervised situations, that's a problem.

For instance, I used to get a lot of flack for not allowing my teenage stepdaughter to have a housekey or stay home alone, but if we were outside talking to the next door neighbor for more than 15 minutes, she'd come looking for us with an "emergency" that she couldn't solve on her own, even when we would prompt her with leading questions or suggestions. On the other hand, we let her and her younger sister fly across the country alone because she was an absolute wiz at managing public transportation and transfers and her sister could absolutely be trusted to make sure that neither of them talked to anyone they shouldn't (ie anyone but flight attendants and gate agents.) (We'd also flown with them as a family once with them in charge of the decision making.)

Julie

My experience with other MOST HS's has been that their kids are "normal". Out of the HS's I know, both here and in OR, I know of 1 family that has a child with Aspergers. I have friend in FL who's 18 month old dd was recently dx'd with autism.

I guess it just struck me as strange that the "stereotypical HS" exhibits those types of characteristics! I should know better than to even respond to those types of posts, but a) it irritated me to have someone belittle his accomplishment simply on the grounds he was homeschooled and b) the implication that homeschooling somehow causes children to have similar "symptoms".

I know, I know. Since I am out of school for the summer I end up using debate forums to exercise my brain...or maybe it is just because I love to argue.

I think my favorite thus far, was the person that didn't understand what evolution was and wasn't. EEEEEGAAADDDDSS!


Alright, going to bed now!

We are in GS camp all week long (day camp)! Nothing like chasing 15 6-8 year old girls around LOLOL~ I am having to be on my best behavior

Just as any large group of people has a range of personalities, homeschoolers have a wide range of personalities/traits. We homeschooled and were frequently told that our children seemed better equiped to talk to adults than most teenagers. Unless you hide your kids under a rock, homeschooling should actually expose your kids to a wider range of ages on a more regular basis than school does. After all, they'll be accompanying you to a wide range of places if they're with you more.

To me, kids in "regular" school are in a fairly artificial environment. Where else in the world are you consistently placed with about 30 other people your exact age for 6-8 hours? My kids did start out in "regular" school before we decided to homeschool. What really impressed us after the homeschooling started was that kids seem to reflect the environment they spend the most time in. (Of course mine wasn't a scientific survey!)

Amen Cela, so well said!

I agree, school is artifical socialization. It's not real world at all.