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Joined: Sep 2005
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Chimpanzee
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BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Originally Posted By: sadandscared
We Often blame the media for our lack of self-image. All of the exploitaion of women. But truly our competitive nature and the need the be the brightest bell at the ball has actually created the situation. Really it comes down to pro-creation, we have to flash our brightest feathers to get the best mate. It's human nature we can't help it.


It may be human nature or instinct...but the thing that separates us from all the othe animals (no not an opposable thumb! ;)) is the ability to overrule our instinct and think logically.

We know that the majority of models are not the norm and it is unrealistic to try to meet those standards, but we have to acknowledge it and accept ourselves.


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Kat Wilder #317449 05/26/07 11:45 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
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Gecko
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Gecko
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The only reason I am 'unhappy with my weight' is because I have a hard time finding cute clothes! crazy

Yes, I ask my BF frequently if this pair of pants or that shirt makes me 'look fat', especially in combination. But in my case at least, it's an honest question, and has nothing to do with wanting reassurance... I know that, as a bigger girl, some clothes are complimentary, and some are not, and it can be hard to tell on yourself sometimes.

JennieK #318775 06/01/07 08:37 AM
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Posts: 55
Amoeba
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Posts: 55
Here's my 2 cents and a little of what I went through. I was a thin child until puberty, then I "developed". Kids were cruel and I was often targeted because of the size of my breasts. I still am large even after a weight loss of 40 pounds (due to diabetes, not dieting). Not only has weight been an issue, but because of the weight my health has been affected.

We see celebs with perfect bodies and as teen girls we idolize them and think if we could only be that size then we'd have no problems with making the popular friends or getting that boy we like. Self image is difficult when you're 16. Look at who the kids have nowadays to idolize. Brittney Spears, Christine Aguilera, Kate Moss, and the Olson twins. None of those girls are larger than a toothpick. You don't hear many of them say "I wish I could look like Queen Latifah or Camryn Manheim." I still look at the mags and think 'oh, if I were only that size'.

What's really hard is when I walked into a Victoria's Secret store and the sales lady said they didn't have anything 'my size.' What?? Larger women aren't supposed to wear sexy clothes??? Or when I shop at the larger department stores and the plus size clothes look like something my grandmother would wear and the only other alternative is junior plus size which is way to juvenile looking. Even the plus size shops like Lane Bryant have the matronly looking clothes. I'm only 47, not 70. Plus when you look at size charts and size 12 is now considered plus size.... And if you're into designer duds, you've got to be a size 2 to wear anything that the designers make.

Yeah, I'm happy with my size 16 jeans (I still wear a size 20 top because of the size of my breasts), but according to my doctor I should weigh about 119 pounds. Which is about a size 4 or so. That is another thing, the weight charts. What you're supposed to weigh for your height and bone structure. I'm 5'3" tall and small boned, according to the chart I should weigh 119. I weigh 170 and I'm starting to feel much better health wise. Now if only clothes designers would start designing clothes for all sizes, I'd be a happy camper.

So, I don't think it's quite right to blame mom and dad for low self esteem. As women and young girls we have size shoved in our faces since the time we hit puberty. And it pretty much follows us all our lives.

Last edited by Raynefalls; 06/01/07 08:41 AM.
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