BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids attending kids parties( and dreading it)

hi everyone! i write this as my hubby and i are about to leave to go to a friend's daughter's 1st birthday party. i feel kinda bad b/c part of me really doesn't want to go. obviously b/c it's a kids' party it's going to be "kid crazy".it just makes me feel uncomfortable being at a family party and everyone talking about kids and seeing other people with their kids there and everyone oohing and ahhing. also i feel i must at least somewhat join in in the "oh isn't that cute" thing when she opens up her gifts. i just find these parties boring. my friend is one of my best friends and my hubby and i don't have a completely miserable time. in fact we talk to a lot of people there and people for the most part dont' buy us about not having kids.i just don't share the " kid euphoria" of kid parties.

wish me luck. luckily it's an afternoon party so it shouldn't last too long. anyone else have these kind of feelings or experiences.

thanks as always for letting me express my feelings that i usually can't otherwise express.

indigo

I've only gone to one party for a one-year-old and it was years ago. I've been able to worm out of all others since. I'm not one of those "goo goo ga ga" people, so situations like those are just awkward. I figure the kid is too young to notice or care about my absence and those who attend are having an 'infant exhilaration' moment that my presence wouldn't enhance.

Good luck!

You can do it! The party will be over before you know it.

I always try and sneak about before the present-opening. That's the worst! I usually like those kinds of events, because I get my fill of kids, and then can leave it all behind.
Good luck!

I don't usually go to kids' parties. I remember a few years ago we went to my husband's friends' one-year-old daughter's first birthday party. The memory that sticks out most in my mind is after the child smeared frosting all over herself (from a specially-bought-for-this-express-"cute"-photo-op-purpose-cake), her mother took her outside and stripped her and hosed her off with the cold water! I felt so sorry for this little girl, standing in their backyard shivering as her mom washed her with the cold water! I'm sure the mom felt this was the easiest way to clean the frosting off the child, as she was covered in it, but it didn't seem very humane to me!

Unfortunately as many of my husband's friends have had children, their parties have become increasingly child-friendly. Not as fun, in my mind!

Cindy

Wow, my husband doesn't even like me to wash the dogs like that. He says if I hose the dogs off, it's like treating them like prison inmates! Haha!

hi everyone! well i survived the b-day party in one piece! i even had a pretty good time although i was surrounded by people with children. i made it a point to only talk with certain people there that i really like and seem to respect my child free decision and not bother us about it. i did overhear my friend's cousin again ask my hubbyu about us not having children(she asked me this question i think last summer) and the only thing i heard was him saying a very blunt "no" and that was it. my hubby is very blunt like that and doesn't care what anyone else thinks.

i have to admit i did get bored with the gift thing. it just seemed to drag on and on.

in the back of my mind though i kept thinking that when some of my other friends have kids(luckily it's only a few) i'll have more parties to go to!


indigo

Cool ... glad it worked out okay.

You should pat yourself on the back for going, and getting through it.

I'm so glad you wrote about this. I have been struggling with this for years now. First I watched everyone I know get married before me. I was holding out for someone that I was compatible with. A lot of these people settled, but everyone made a big fuss over them getting married anyway.

The last couple of years, it's been the baby parties. I have finally gotten to the point where I just don't go. I feel like I'm exempt b/c I don't have kids. I feel left out, and awkward at those parties. And I feel like I don't have anything in common with these people anymore since they became parents.

I avoid the baby showers, too.

I'm glad you were able to get through it alive. I think Mother's Day, Baby Showers, christenings are to the CF what weddings and New Year's Eve is to the single. I think most people are comfortable with being who they are until these pro couple, pro family events come along. I think they are very closely linked.

I know it bothers some of my extended family members, but I wonder how they would feel if the situation was reversed?

I have a writing background, and have lots of friends that work in publishing or marketing or other creative fields. Would they enjoy spending an afternoon listening to people talking about publishing if they have no interest in the field? And if they were CONSTANTLY invited to publishing related events, they would understandably get annoyed if it wasn't their bag.

I know their argument would probably be "but it's their choice." You are celebrating their choice to have kids.

I don't understand why parenthood is in a special category that everyone has to go nuts over it. I can think of 10 other things off the top of my head that are more exciting to me. But I don't ask everyone to celebrate those interests with me.