A woman falls in love with a man whose heart is in the right place � keeping his loved ones and strangers safe from harm. He sacrifices a lot to be with her, but he does so willingly because he knows he can't � and doesn't want to � live without her.

But when his career thrusts him ever more into the public eye and attracts a legion of adoring fans (and an especially hot woman), the core of their love is threaten by something even a superhero may not be able to conquer � jealousy.

OK, I am talking about 'Spider-Man 3,' which opens today. I'll probably take The Kid to see it, but in between the special-effects, I'll be focusing on the jealousy angle. Why? Because, sad to say, I understand.

Why does love sometimes turn people into jealous fools?

I'm not a jealous person, but years ago I flirted with the reality that I might be becoming one. I had fallen in love with Rick, a charmer who liked to push the edges. Early in our romance, there was an "incident" � a party, an inebriated woman, a girlfriend (that would be me) who felt uncomfortable with his misplaced attentions, and an immaturity in being able to deal with it honestly.

"I really wish we could have spent more time together tonight," I said perhaps a little too gently for the emotions I was feeling as we drove home that night. "Did you get off on that woman falling all over you and dancing with you all night long?"

"Oh, she was drunk. Anyway, I was hoping you'd come rescue me."

Hmm. I'd never experienced a man needing to be rescued before, especially when it appeared as if he was enjoying it and making no attempt to stop it. And as I was the "new" girlfriend, I really didn't want to appear to be the bitchy, possessive new girlfriend laying down what he could or couldn't do. So I let it be.

But, of course, I didn't really, because whenever there was another situation that involved him, me and another women, the "incident" reared its ugly head. That's when I realized I was jealous � and insecure � in that relationship. Ultimately, that jealousy and insecurity � not entirely unfounded � helped destroy it.

I'm no longer that jealous woman, but that experience made me realize how easily a woman can find herself in that position if she doesn't have confidence in herself and her relationship and the ability to express herself.


I'm going to take a guess that Mary Jane's jealousy of Peter Parker/Spider-Man's fame � and stolen kiss with his hottie college lab partner, Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard) � doesn't totally destroy their love, but I'm pretty confident that dealing with it will take a much bigger toll on him than his battles with Sandman, Venom and other villains.

How have you handled jealousy in your relationships?
Are there situations in your life or certain types of men who draw that jealousy out?
And can "Spider-Man 3" even possibly be as good � or better � than "Spider-Man 2"?

Kat Wilder's My So-Called Midlife