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Joined: Mar 2006
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Zebra
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Zebra
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Das, it's not only possible, it's essential.

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I believe that it is, Das. It is a conscious decision. You think of all that you would wish you had done if you died without that chance, and you do your best to go to sleep at night with a clear conscience.

To me, it means not leaving undone what I can do, and not doing what is harmful. Making the best of each day. Living one day at a time. Letting someone know that they are loved. They might be gone tomorrow, and we could regret our silence for the rest of our lives,- so I guess it also means living each day as if it might be the last your loved ones have too.

I had a friend who died before I was ready to 'make up' after a quarrel. How I wished I'd swallowed my pride and phoned her! I will never make that mistake again. Pride is cold comfort.

I have had a lot of opportunity to think about my last day, because in 2002 I almost had it! Funny thing, but when you are close to death, (for me anyway) suddenly everything comes into focus, and you see what is really important in life. The mind seems to glimpse a new reality.

So that is why I say: "live each day as if it were your last" - that way, you live in reality.

Patience,


Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
John Adams


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Gecko
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Thank you for this loving explanation.

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Gecko
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Dear Das, you can always PM me if you want to talk. I'm always ready to listen to a fellow survivor.

Keep your chin up!

Patience.


Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
John Adams


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Thanks.

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Forgiveness is loving someone whether you think they deserve it or not. If we do not forgive others then God does not forgive us. That is because it is hypocrisy to expect it for ourselves and yet think others are less deserving.

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Koala
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I agree with JCFreak and Patience!! live today like its your last and harm none!

I would add though, that true forgivenes comes from the heart and soul. Just to say i forgive you is not enough. If you truly forgive someone then you dont bring up what you have forgiven! and forgiveing doesnt mean forgetting either if some one takes something of mine and I forgive them for it that does not mean I forget it and let them take something else and become a doormat!! I have to forgive to be forgiven but God doesnt require me to trust the person completely!!! they have to earn back my trust!!!

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To me forgiveness is letting go so that specific events, happpenings--even things we've done--don't have any power over us anymore. Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and others over and over again until full forgiveness is established. It takes time.

Martin Seligman writes about forgiveness--which is so important to happiness in his book "Authentic Happiness."


LEAH MULLEN
LIFE COACHING

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I think there are different levels of forgiveness. The basic level seems to involve letting go of the anger and having no desire for vengeance. This is a gift to both parties involved.

In the mid-range of forgiveness, we forgive the person but remember the offense. This way, you protect yourself from being hurt or harmed again.

The highest level of forgiveness includes forgetfulness. Your relationship with the offender is restored to as it was before. In the Bible, there is a verse that reads, "...and He will remember your sins no more."

That is true forgiveness.

I don't know if anyone is capable of true forgiveness except for God and Christ...and possibly, mothers.

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Originally Posted By: Lori-Marriage

The highest level of forgiveness includes forgetfulness. Your relationship with the offender is restored to as it was before. In the Bible, there is a verse that reads, "...and He will remember your sins no more."

That is true forgiveness.

I don't know if anyone is capable of true forgiveness except for God and Christ...and possibly, mothers.


I agree with you. I can't see myself ever fully forgetting something that really and truly hurt me or some major blunder that I made myself. But when I look back and feel nothing, I know that I've forgiven. However, as I said sometimes I think I've forgiven and there's a flare up. I'll think back after a number of years and feel hot under the collar all over again. At those times I know I have more work to do. Like Oprah says Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

Last edited by leahmullen; 03/05/09 02:01 PM.

LEAH MULLEN
LIFE COACHING

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