BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image Fake breasts = a real woman?

I was in the checkout line the other day at Whole Foods when something struck me � literally and figuratively. An attractive thirtysomething woman in line before me had forgotten something, ran back to get it and then, organic marshmallows in hand, squeezed her way past me, except her perky, ample breasts had no place to go but rub up against me.

They felt ... hard.

And so it got me thinking about the irony of all that natural, organic, trans-fat free, free-range food going into a body that was anything but natural (and I won't even comment on organic marshmallows!)

It's time to have a real discussion about fake breasts. Like 'em or not?

I will say upfront (no pun intended) that I don't "get" fake breasts (except after mastectomies). Well, I understand that for some women, big and fake is the equivalent of a $90,000 sports car for some men for their perceived inadequacies, but why does something fake make us feel better about ourselves?

They don't look "normal," they don't move "normal" and they don't feel "normal" (and please don't ask me how I know all this � just trust). When I was seeing Van, who had dated fake-breasted women in his past, his answer was this, "You're usually looking at them more than feeling them so, what's the big deal?" And yet he was pretty happy with whatever my real but rather modest breasts were able to accomplish.

Sean, on the other hand, can't stand fake boobs � looking at them, or anything else.

I am all for women feeling great about themselves (dare I use the "e" word, empowering?) But I am sad to think that anything fake has to be part of that equation, and that includes Botox, collagen and whatever else we women believe we must do to be beautiful. Should we really be buying into the Hollywood-model-pornstar stereotypes?

And I hear it's common that men have suggested, gently and not, that their lovers/wives get boob jobs. If a guy asked me to do that, I guess I'd have to say, "Sure, just as soon as you get that penile implant."

But then this all falls under that big messy issue called body image, and I'll be talking about that in next Sunday's column.

So ... are fake boobs good, bad or who cares?

Women, are you willing to sacrifice sensation and risk potential health issues for appearance?

Do you enhance for yourself or for your lover?

And should the papers you sign before you go under the knife include a free series of self-esteem classes?


Kat Wilder's My So-called Midlife

Kat, the way you started this was just WAY TOO FUNNY! The gal with organic marshmallows and big hard boobs that couldn't just squeeze by because they couldn't be molded like our "natural" ones can be! That was SO funny that I had to stop and read it to my husband!!

Anyway, my husband always comments on women with the "fake boobs" or the "implants" because he says they just don't look natural, they don't move and they don't do anything for him. (plus everyone can tell, because they are too perfect and too perfectly placed!!) He is like Van and Sean and wants to touch and see natural movement. I nursed my children, so my breasts are not as perky as they once were and I once asked him if he thought I should get them "lifted". He laughed and told me 'no' because they represented my age. COOL!

Just the other day, he was smiling and said he had a dream about me and woke up and was watching me sleep. My breasts had reminded him of that jello commercial where the people do the dance in the shape of the word "jello" while they wiggle and they jiggle. (Now he is kinda embarassed that I'm saying this online) oh well... I thought it was cute. Anyway, he would miss those kind of dreams.

My reply to your questions are... NO, I would not have any breast surgery or ANY kind of plastic surgery unless it was medically necessary. My body is what I have and some parts I like and other parts I don't, but it is sort of a trade off. I try to accentuate the good and not look at the bad. Imagine how surprised I was when I saw myself in a photograph with my 86 year old mother who only weighs 130 lbs. and wondered who that BIG girl was with her when I realized it was me. <giggle> I tend to look at my face and my smile more than my stomach and hips. LOL

Have a wonderful day. It is finally a beautiful spring day here in Maryland! God bless you.

Trish

I think fake breasts have really done a disservice to women, especially in the movie industry. I watch some of the movies from the 70s and 80s and think "These women wouldn't get work today doing the same thing." Pretty much any topless woman from that time has slightly concavish (for lack of a better word, they aren't bulbous anyway) jello-ee breasts and usually quite small compared to what you see in similar scenes today. At least in the 70s/80s a young woman could look at those breasts and think how normal they are. Definitely a different feeling today. There's fewer places a woman can look today to see likenesses of herself.

Hi, Moe! You are absolutely right! I really feel sorry for the young women in their 30's and 40's who are the "normal" women today trying to look around for someone to compare themselves to. It seems that age is the one that is really into the "barbie boobs". I always wondered, as I grew up, how hers was always so perfect, big and pointed when I never saw any older women (like my mother, sisters or women from church that looked like that.) Now I know they sell bras like that. LOL

My son's girlfriend is 20 and is small built but proportioned. Girls that age don't seem so concerned about their image with their breasts. (As I reread this, I don't think this is exactly right. They are concerned with their image, but they are not concerned about making themselves MORE than they are. She (and my son) like what she's got! LOL) Hopefully this next generation will not be so hungry for perfection that they head for surgery. It seems that many of the guys are not into the steroids that the older guys did to keep up with the fake boobed girls.

Trish

Well...
I'm actually thinking of getting a "boob job" - just not sure whether I want a lift only or implants. I'm also looking into a tummy tuck and a brachioplasty (upper arm tuck).

My reason is, since I have lost the weight from my gastric bypass (90 lbs with about 45 more to go) - I am droopy in all of those areas - and they are not going to bounce back. The tummy area and arms are actually uncomfortable because they "swing" so much, and I figure it's just going to get worse as I lose more weight.

The breasts are just because I don't like looking like a grandmother when I'm only 36. I'm not looking to get Pamela Anderson boobs, just "put 'em back the way they was" ("Lil' Abner")

Hi, Michelle! It has been a LONG time! Glad to see you again. 90 lbs. is wonderful! I completely understand what you're talking about with the wiggle and jiggle, especially putting things back where they belong! Ever since I had Matt with a C-section, I have had an extra kangaroo pouch below my belly that I wish I could just put a big stretch belt on and pull it tight! (And that was almost 21 years ago!)

Your surgery is medically neccessary, friend, so that you can move around more comfortably. I think you deserve it! If the Dr. puts you back up where you "used to be", is there much more involved with implanting? Have you checked on the different kinds? I think there is a new procedure using new materials that are safer and less foreign to your body. That would be the only part I would worry about.

I am proud of you for doing such a great job! It has been a long haul, though, hasn't it? I missed seeing you for a few months, but I was gone for a few months, too. Hope all is better now. Is Michael still doing alot of things on the computer? I think of ya'll all the time. Take care and God bless!

Trish

Hey all. Thanks for your kind words.
Michelle, your situation is different, and I absolutely "get" a desire to help things get back in order after health-related issues.

And Moe � look at Marilyn Monroe, who was juicy and saggy and jiggly in all the right places. She'd be dieting and going under the knife today to survive a Hollywood career!

My take is this � if a guy is interested in women who look like that, fine. But I'm not interested in him.

It's a separate the wheat from the chaff kinda thing.
sweet dreams, all.

If I just had a breast lift - I would actually be smaller than I naturally am - because of the amount of breast tissue lost from my weight loss - and the actual removal of skin. The plastic surgeon I had a consultation with said if I wanted to look the way I used to I would probably need a "small" implant to help fill out. He also said it would make the lift easier, too because they don't have to rework all the tissue and skin into a natural breast shape. And he did recommend saline implants.

But... all this s going to cost over $15,000, so I'll be waiting a little while to get it all done!

I have breast implants that i got back in 2000. At the time, my choice was made mainly because i was 5'8" with broad shoulders and kind of athletic...yet i had nothing up top to fill me out and to balance myself. I did a lot of research because i didnt want to come out looking like a porn-star and i didnt want the health risks and problems associated with a botched-up implant. I was a small B cup and went up to a large C and had them put under the muscle, which is the most natural looking...and to this day, no one knows i have implants unless i tell them. I took care of them and did all the exercises that the doctor ordered and kept them massaged, which keeps the pocket created to hold them open so it doesnt close around the implant and harden. They are not huge and bulbous and fake looking or feeling...although yes, there are many many women out there who have those kind. I had twins two years ago and successfully breast fed them both with no problems. I truly feel that i did the right thing...they helped to make me more confident, when i had no self esteem what-so-ever. I did it only for me, and not for a boyfriend. It is truly sad, however, that some women take it to such large and unnatural extremes.

Being very well endowed I have never thought of implants but I have consider getting them reduced and lifted so that I "fit" in with what is popular. It wasn't until recently that I accepted and began to appreciate what I have. It isn't easy being that a "perfect" rail thin body is shown as ideal every where I go.