BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Can our Anger ever be good for us?

This subject came up in a different thread, ( the topic being about forgiving a man who had beheaded a neighbour's dog, then delivered the head to her, in a box....!) where 'Nosy' posted the following comments....



I responded with this:



To which Nosy kindly replied,



Now, my signature bears the legend/quotation that hatred does not cease through hatred, but through love alone. And this is the Ancient and Eternal law. Furthermore, I also have the comment that our world is created by everything we originally think. This too, is a quotation from the Buddha.

I do not detail these as any form of criticism, but I think Nosy's comments are highly interesting.
One, because I happen to disagree, but two, because I used to be of the same opinion myself....

Could i just hastily add that this discussion is open to everyone, but that Nosy agreed to opening it up as a discussion, and that I am not implying condemnation or criticism, particularly behind her back....

It is said in Buddhism, that of all the emotions, Anger is not only the most difficult one to Master, but also it is the most destructive.
When 'you' are angry, it is the equivalent of picking up a hot coal to throw at the object of your anger. (a) you might just miss your target, and (b), you'll always burn yourself first.
It has also been theorised that venting one's anger is a way of letting off steam, but many psychologists are now of the opinion that the expression of Anger simply nourishes the resentment and unhappiness....
Whilst it is considered normal for people to get angry, there are too many instances of people letting that anger run away with them, and of making them do things they would probably regret later...Like Road rage, dropping bombs on cities, and cutting heads off dogs....all anger in excess.....

There is nothing wrong with being Angry. But according to Buddhism, once the moment is passed, we should also drop any lingering emotion. And Anger is the hardest one to shift, ever....

We cannot, it seems, sustain a happy emotion for too long, but anger and resentlemt don't seem to slip away as easily.....

All great and logical points. Pretty hard to argue with them. I'm not at all educated about Buddhism (or any religion) so can only speak on what I've learned so far in general.

The general idea sounds right - although natural, anger is very destructive and it's best not to hold on to it after the moment. Hard to do but sounds right.

I'm certainly not promoting anger, and I do agree that it's quite destructive. I guess I'll have to concede that in regard to my original post, it's not the anger that's good, it's the closure it can provide in certain situations. You know, the "you're dead to me" kind of anger that allows you to move on.

Yes, but does it?

Do you, in that frame of mind ever truly move on?
If you meet that person, or encounter them at some future point, does that anger stay suppressed or non-evident? or does it arise again, and make you still think "You're dead to me"?
Does it make you recall the object and purpose of your original anger?
if you talk about that instance again, is it with a complete sense of detachment, or does the anger manifest in your voice?

I'm not even thinking of a particular incident, but I guess you move on from the person/source of pain/hurt, not the anger. I'm sure the anger would resurface when the person/incident was encountered or discussed or thought about, if even briefly.

I'm sure not talking about the kind of anger that results in physical violence or evil plotting.

Do you think anger is the same as hatred?

Yes, I do. because hatred is born of anger. You can't hate someone you love, even though they can really p**s you off sometimes....but anger makes us do things we usually end up regretting, even if it's the harsh word, or the quick slap in retaliation.... something as "innocent" as biting back at someone can only serve to generate hostility and resentment in our hearts and minds, and then there is also the certain element or amount of guilt. Even if we feel nothing for the other person, generally speaking, we wish we hadn't thought/said/done that....Why oh why were we not able to control ourselves?

There is a Chinese proverb which loosely translated, says:

"Even the swiftest cavalry of the Emperor's Mightiest army cannot retrieve the word once spoken."

But please note: simply because one can conquer the negative emotional aspect of anger, and gradually learn to not permit it to effect a sustained control, that doesn't mean one has to become a placid pussy-cat, a complacent door-mat. far from it.
It's all about recognising the conditions required for it to surface and feed on the moment, and being able to Master it at source.

(I have to go. I'll be back tomorrow.....!)

Anger of such nature in this case and others is warranted by all means. However, Once you hang on it too long it takes over the goodness inside of you. You never have to forget the matter but forgive so you can go on and become a wiser person who can start organizations to put those who does such acts behind bars. You than become the power NOT them. Just think about what I am saying.

Yes, I agree about your anger points wholeheartedly when the situation involves a loved one or even someone you can't extricate from your life, but what about the original example in the forgiveness discussion? I don't think I'd regret harsh words to someone who killed my dog.

I'd quickly and angrily dismiss them from my life. People who do extreme harm to me are people I want to avoid. I'm not interested in working anything out with them unless it's someone I have to. Even then, if the harm is extreme enough, what's the point?

Anger is a good thing. It is a natural reaction to the experience of some negative things. Granted, some people misuse anger and hold it like a treasure even. Like any other thing, there can be too much or not enough anger(apathy). Hanging on to anger is not positive.

The good thing about anger is it can spur us on to positive action such as when we get angry at injustice, social ills and the like. I am not talking about when anger is used in a bad way, but when anger moves us into action that will help ourselves or others.

Wow what a great point - anger can be the catalyst for something good. Anger can be morphed into positive action.