BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Mental Health how do you live with regret?

I feel bad about a few things in my past. How do I shake it off to really enjoy my current life? Does anyone have any practical advice?

The yogic point of view which I use myself and have for many years is to accept that at each moment I'm doing the best I can given my circumstances and knowledge.

And that every moment in the past I also did the best I could with circumstances and the information I had.

This lets me better understand past actions and accept myself as I am in the present.

More so, I try to be kind now when faced with choices of being greedy, mean or otherwise.

First off- accept out loud to yourself and God (if you believe in Him) what you did and Than FORGIVE YOURSELF - knowing it won't happen again. Life is full lessons but you have to FORGIVE YOURSELF in order to move on. None of us are perfect.

Read the 10 Secrets to Inner Peace and Success by Wayne Dyer. That book, and his book, Being In Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires, changed my life. I used to carry around a load of regret, hurt, guilt and bad feelings from the past. These books helped me to begin living my life in the now and let go of all that.

I began reading all Wayne Dyer's books, plus all kinds of Law of attraction material and it's helped me so much, my whole life is different.

Joan

Wayne Dyer has written great books. He was one of my favorite author.

Laurie. Let go. The only one obliging you to continue carrying the cr*p is you yourself. Nobody else is making you, or forcing you to do it.

"Let go. The only one obliging you to continue carrying the cr*p is you yourself" ... exactly.

I've also done things or behaved in ways that I'm ashamed of but I have learned from my mistakes (poor choices) and don't beat myself up over past errors. I just try to understand and be a decent person. It's more important and productive to focus on not repeating errors and making good decisions than beat yourself up over past mistakes.

I think you must read the book Joanne suggested.Its excellent.
As everyone said u need to move on.
Everyone,almost everyone has something they arent happy abt in the past....everything that happens happens for a reason.U have perhaps learnt something or many things from it.
So take it positive .Only u can do it!
Good Luck!

Hi Laurie,

I have let go of the pain of regret through going through the 12 Steps in Alanon. I don't know if you have the need for a 12th Step program but they have a guide online to going through the 4th step. Basicly you right down all your resentments, fears and sex conduct and then do turn arounds on them. The turn arounds look at our own part in the resentment. Once the writing is done I took mine to a priest and read it to him and then burned it. The relief was amazing and I now have some tools to stay free of most resentments and how to work on them as they crop up.

This is what worked for me, Take Care, Keleee

Just one question, as a matter of interest,

How does one 'let go'? What kinds of things do you do to achieve this, and how long does it take you? (I am speaking from the position of one who has been wronged - through betrayal of love and trust)

Ann.

I know from my experience, for every regret I have - every mistake I've made, something good has always come about, too. I have to go looking sometimes, though.

For instance, my divorce is definitely a regret, I wish I'd been able to make my first marriage work. But if I had, then I wouldn't have such a wonderful husband now, or my rambunctious 4 yr old!

on the other hand, I've sometimes wished that maybe I had married David (my now husband) first. But if I had done that, then I wouldn't have my 15 and 9 yr old kids! Plus I have some really great memories from my first marriage, of good times we had before things started going sour - and I wouldn't want to have missed out on those, because they helped make me who I am today.

I think it is just a question of, what do we regret, how would we have changed things, and then what would be different - but not better today?

Hope that makes sense...

Hi, Bella, very good post.
Tell me, are there some regrets when nothing good came out?
Not from your own experience but from others/
What good comes out aftera criminal regrets having killed many?
Can we discuss?

I think my greatest regret is that I ever met my ex in the first place! It was deception from day one.

One important lesson I have learned from the experience is that what people tell you is not necessarily true, and that they are not always what they appear to be.

I will not be making the same mistake again.

Ann.

I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever. Truly. Everything that has happened to me, whether one might wish to view it 'positvely' or 'negatively' has served to bring me to where I am now. I may have been regretful at the time, and either kicked myself or the nearest cat (I'm kidding!!!!!) but I have no retrospective regrets about anything at all.

I agree with Alexandra. What I thought at the time to be mistakes were actually only steps along the path to reach today. To change any one thing would change the outcome and I wouldn't want to give up any of my current life. I'm sure things could have been different or easier, but then I wouldn't be the person I am today. For me, regret and worry are to useless emotions that use up energy that could be put to better use.

I have many regrets in life.

Das,

What are some regrets you have in life?

Erika,

you are the crime editor?
Mr. Mohatta remembers you.

Erika,

So many things went wrong, either because of my own judgement or fate.
I regret about them.
If you really want details, I can PM .