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Hi all,

Just wanted to introduce myself as the new editor of 12 Step Recovery. See my site for more info about myself but am looking for some great "conversation" with all of you.

Kathy L.

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Hi Kathy,

Welcome to the forums! I can't wait to your new articles!

Again, welcome!


Deanna Joseph

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What are your Soul Gifts? Discover your true nature and potential, and learn who you are on a Soul Level with a Soul Realignmentâ„¢ reading.

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Thanks Deanna, I feel fortunate that I have the opportunity to be a part of this site as well as being able to share my recovery and learn from others.

Kathy L.
12 Step Recovery

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Hello

I am so glad that there is a chat room for 12 step program. I am very interested in being involved with this program in hopes to better my life. My name is Teresa Carpenter and I am an Alcholic.

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Hello too,

Glad to see your posting as I think this could be very beneficial in our recovery. My name is Jennarae and I am an alcoholic
That term is still hard for me , because of the obvious conotations, so I have to keep explaining it to myself by meaning that alcohol does weird things to my brain and makes me turn into another personality who at first was fun, but real quickly got me into dangerous situtions, that I am lucky to have survived. It is super scary to me how powerful and outspoken I felt when drunk . Nothing or no one was going to stop me .... until the police put the handcuffs on, .....even then I still tried to run away when trustfully released in the custody of family....totally unlike the polite, quiet person I am when I am sober.
My spouse playfully asks why cant i just have a few drinks for fun, but I must stay strong, because he doesnt really understand that I cannot just dabble with a little bit. ......... Anyways, thanks for letting me share.

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JennaRae, thanks so much for your share. I really wish more women would take the opportunity and post their feelings in this forum but it seems to be difficult for many. The term "alcoholic" was hard for me, too, until I understood that it was a disease. It is not something I wanted to be when I grew up but I am what I am and thank God I have the tools now to live life as a sober woman. Your spouse may ask playfully about the few drinks but never underestimate the demon alcohol. Remember, cunning, baffling, powerful! Be strong and let me know how you are doing either through this forum or email.

Kathy L.
12 Step Recovery Editor

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Hi
I am glad that you shared. At least your husband seems supportive of you. My husaband and all of my family basically run from me when the see me with one beer. I have associated this gave with russian ruollette everythime you pull the trigger (drink One beer) you never know what you will be getting. or who I should say Dr.Jeckle or Mr Hyde. In my case.
Talk to ya soon

Teresa

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Kathy L. what happened to the daily devotions that you had posted where you were thanking God for your sobriety . there were quite a few and I only got to read them once, but was unable to find them on my next visits to this website. they stayed in my brain as inspirational and as an example of how to think and write in this forum . they were something like, I thank God for being sober today and for not feeling the urge to use alcohol and an escape of my feelings. I thank my higher power for the peace he has given me these last 44 days of staying clean of chemical induced changes ingested. (my add on) Were they erased or the forum structure changed? Oh, and Teresa, thanks for your reply too, that is a helpful explanation for me to use for myself about how like taking that first drink is like playing with Russian Roulette and not knowing who you might turn into, Jeckle and Hyde is a good description for me too. Thanks girls for sharing and hopefully we are the beginning seeds of this forum for more people to join in and help it grow. Lets pray for that. OK? JennRae

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JennaRae, You know I will reinstate my daily prayer of gratitude for my sobriety. My hope was that many other women would visit the forum and add their own pledge but as I have mentioned to you before, tons of women look but most do not add their own comments. I so wish they would but because you asked, I will open up that forum again so please not only read it but add to it every day. Even if it is just you & me.

Thanks so much for remind me about this.

Kathy L.
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I have a husband that is an addict, both alcohol and whatever substances that cross his path, but he is still functioning fairly well in his everyday activities. However, at home in the evenings he is grabbing a glass of wine as soon as he comes in the door, and sometimes even while he is holding one of our small children. He will not admit to having a problem, and I attend Alanon meetings to keep and find some sanity. However, recently he notified me that a former childhood friend that he has only seen about twice in the last 20 years was going to visit with a girlfriend or co-worker, not sure which, and would like to stay with us. I agreed, since they could sleep downstairs-all of our other bedrooms are upstairs,and that would protect our children since I don't know this friend and again, we have small children.

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To continue, My husband got very angry and told me to "relax", as he was slurring his speech and drinking another glass of wine, not thinking that possibly it would NOT be a good idea to let someone that we have never met and clearly do not know sleep in a room next to our young children when we know NOTHING about them? I am not being overly protective here, am I? I am the one parent in this relationship currently that has sound judgement in protecting our children, and I am not going to appear on Headline News as being an overly trusting person that let people she doesn't know stay in their house and suddenly one of them harms or runs away with our children. Did I make a good call in this regard? Please reply.

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You made the right decision. Actually you probably should have said no when he asked if they could stay the first time but I'm sure you gave him the benefit of the doubt and "trusted" he would never put his kids in harm's way. Ironically, you called him "functional". I know it is a word we use to mean the addict has a human side but honestly, no addict is functional at any real level. I would hope that you would continue to go to Al-Anon for you and for your kids and pray that he will one day get the fact that he has a problem. I also pray he doesn't hit a bottom that is too bad before he gets help. You must take care of yourself and your kids and congrats for being wise enough to get to Al-Anon. If you need any other help in any way, you can always email me at my bellaonline site. God bless.

Kathy L.
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Thank you, Kathy, for your reply. I have now also found out the he is taking Xanax along with his drinking. Though I don't know how much he is taking, I can expect the worse. I need to keep going to meetings for myself and mu kids, you are right, and try to make some difficult and terrifying decisions as time goes on. I need to take care of me and my children, because I cannot control or change him. He still doesn't believe he has a problem,and has even gone so far to tell me that I need help at the few times during the past several years that I have told him I am concerned for his health. You know the story. Please pray for me, and I will do the best I can do. Thank you for listening.

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It is pretty "normal" for an alcoholic to take something like Xanax and drink. After all, we are soooo depressed we need something to help us. The fact that the meds say "do not drink" is a plus! Sad but true. It also does not surprise me that he thinks YOU need help. That is a convenient way to make everything your problem for obvious reasons. I don't know how old your kids are but how long are you willing to live as you are? Of course Al-Anon is extremely important but I hope that you can begin making serious decisions. I continue to pray for all of you. God bless.

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Dear Jackie,
I think your concerns are valid , plus just the fact that YOU dont know these people and if your husband has only seen them twice in 20 years, than he doesnt really know them much either. Why cant they afford a hotel room? Bringing them into your private (safe) living space is a hugh issue and right of yours that your husband should respect and give credance too. Listen to your inner voice....., better safe than sorry...especially with your young children at risk. Plus if he and they start to drink , different personalities come out and then you will feel like a stranger in your own home .. yikes!!! dont let it happen.

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Hi Kathy, My name is Linda. I am two years into my recovery from drinkin and druggin, and am considering sponsorship. I dont know how to do that and would appreciate any advice that you or others could give me. I am looking forward to communicating with you and other members.

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Linda, I have limited space here to write you so if you email me from the home page that lists my articles I can give you more information. There are many things I can tell you about sponsorship from my own experience that I would be more than glad to share with you. There is also a book that I think is very valuable. It is called "Twelve Step Sponsorship: How It Works" by Hamilton B. and published by Hazelden. The important thing is that after 2 years you are definitely on the right track by even thinking of sponsorship. It is truly one of the gifts of the program. Anyway, if you can email me I can be more specific and maybe answer more questions you might have. I also invite anyone else out there to share your experiences with sponsorship with Linda and others interested.

Kathy L.
12 Step Recovery Editor

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