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#299924 03/16/07 07:28 AM
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Wolf
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Wolf
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Does a relation survive long if the female is stronger and smarter than the male? Do female love that kind of male? do male accept that kind of female? what about ego?

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Shark
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"Does a relation survive long if the female is stronger and smarter than the male?'
I am sure it can if the partners are attracted to that personality type and respect each other for who they are.


"Do female love that kind of male?"
While I believe that people are unique and should pursue what makes them happy, I am not the type of woman who would properly respect and love a man that is not the dominant partner.


"do male accept that kind of female?"
I am sure some do and find the personalities match.


"what about ego?"
There is a great divide between strong personality traits and ego. One can be a strong leader in the community, in the workplace and even in the home without being an egotistical jerk.

I don't understand how society can respect a man who is a strong leader in the boardroom or a powerful speaker in the community but then label him with negative words if he carries this personality home. Should he enter the phone both and take the cape off first?

My husband is a respected individual in his profession and in his place of work. He takes charge of situations and is in the position of giving advice to his co-workers regarding work situations. He is a respected individual in our community. This man comes home at night and he doesn't leave his personality at the door. I respect and love him for who he is.

It's not so important which one is smarter or stronger. It's important to understand and accept yourself. It's important to find a mate who respects who you are and loves you for it. It's important to respect and love them in return.


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Wolf
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Wolf
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Pl. see my comments in bold. By the way I loved the way you wrote this.

[quote=His Brandy]"Does a relation survive long if the female is stronger and smarter than the male?'
I am sure it can if the partners are attracted to that personality type and respect each other for who they are.

Are this kind of people in a minority?


"Do female love that kind of male?"
While I believe that people are unique and should pursue what makes them happy, I am not the type of woman who would properly respect and love a man that is not the dominant partner.

What is the majority opinion?


"do male accept that kind of female?"
I am sure some do and find the personalities match.
I think that amajority of males want to dominate.




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Shark
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I really can't answer what is in the minority or majority on this. It really depends on the culture of the area. Even in the U.S., a small town lives and thinks a bit differently than someone in a large city.

All I can say is that in my town, more than 50% of the women still stay home to raise the kids or take care of the house. Many families still have some traditional aspects but I don't think it's quite like things once were in the past.



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Wolf
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Wolf
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Yes, past is slowly giving way.

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Shark
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What I meant about it not being the same...for an example...

My paternal Grandmother had no problems with saying her husband was the man in the house. She never drove, she never worked for money, she was happy caring for her husband, children and home.

My Mother held a job on and off through the years, depending on the needs our family. Dad wouldn't even know what companies they pay their bills to or where to find the checkbook. But my Father has always had the final say in matters in our home. He relies on Mom to agree with him when he makes a decision.

I have a friend who believes it's important for a woman to have skills and to work. One would think she supports equality between men and women eh? Her husband handled all the money. She didn't even know what the amount in their bank account was, he would let her know what she had available to spend.

The details of each relationship was different. Grandma was vocal and open about having a "traditional" marriage while Mom and my friend don't fit into that box on everything.





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Wolf
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Wolf
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Which ofthese relationship was the happiest?

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Shark
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CdMohatta,

One can only peek in and make a judgment call on that since no one is in the heads, hearts and the bedrooms of others.

I can say that when my Grandfather died, my Grandmother's reason for living went with him. We buried her less than two years after him. Her health declined with no real medical evidence as to why. I am not sure that's a very good thing.

My parents have separated and even divorced over my Father's infidelity. They did remarry when I was a child and continued to have issues including another seperation two years ago when my Father moved out to live with another woman.

My friend's husband left her for another woman.


I think in all three, the men are essential factors to the happiness that exists or doesn't exist. My Grandfather was content with his life and loved my Grandmother as much as she loved him. I can't say I see this in my parents' marriage or in my friend's defunct marriage. I honestly do not think my Father ever respected my Mother and loved her for who she was. I suspect my friend was not completely respected and loved for herself either.

There are other variables as well...communication, sharing the same goals and values, sharing a life. I think my Grandparents gave a good example of sharing the same life instead of running parallel ones.









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Parakeet
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I was raised to be independent and strong. My step-mother is a woman who is on equal footing with my Dad and they have a very successful marriage. Both are well-educated and both have demanding careers which they chose.

I can't imagine being in a marriage where one partner dominates the other.My husband and I have respect and love for each other and we are both strong personalities.

My Dad has it right when he says, '"It takes a strong man to be married to a strong woman."'


"Allow your dreams to become your plans."

Kristen

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Shark
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Kristen,

Just to be clear, I am definitely not suggesting that a marriage where the partners feel completely equal, both consider themselves strong, whatever is appropriate terms here lacks respect.

Just that in a more traditional marriage, respect is essential. A woman can do everything humanly possible and even beyond but unless her husband cares about her as a person, appreciates and respects her then it's likely a wasted effort.

There will be no pleasing such a man and certainly no happiness for either.



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Shark
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Shark
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Kristen,

I had a thought before I clicked away so I am posting to add it:

I could have just posted with a simpler summation of my thoughts by saying that if a man sees his wife as his slave or his inferior then there isn't much hope for happiness regardless of the efforts of the wife.



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Wolf
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Wolf
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Originally Posted By: His Brandy
Kristen,

Just to be clear, I am definitely not suggesting that a marriage where the partners feel completely equal, both consider themselves strong, whatever is appropriate terms here lacks respect.

Just that in a more traditional marriage, respect is essential. A woman can do everything humanly possible and even beyond but unless her husband cares about her as a person, appreciates and respects her then it's likely a wasted effort.

There will be no pleasing such a man and certainly no happiness for either.




Yes, you are very right.

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