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Joined: Feb 2007
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Gecko
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Gecko
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"he will tell me when the time is right"???

This comment/behavior is alarming. He sounds manipulative. A mature healthy person would answer the question.

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He said that he has trouble with answering the question because he does not know how and what to say. I told him to take time and think about it (even though he he shouldn't have to)then write it down and leave it somewhere that I can find it conveiantly.

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Shark
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From my own experience depressed people are sometimes really hard to have a conversation with. Don't take this wrong please! I remember being terrified to say the "wrong" thing, for fear I would just tip them over. He's not telling you what you want to hear, so maybe he's fearful of what you don't want to hear? I don't know. But it sounds like he too needs a boost. Counseling may be good for both of you.

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Wolf
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Originally Posted By: lilangelgurl
He said that he has trouble with answering the question because he does not know how and what to say. I told him to take time and think about it (even though he he shouldn't have to)then write it down and leave it somewhere that I can find it conveiantly.


I strongly believe that this man is trying to take care. It is your depression that makes you getstrange ideas and question everything he is doing. Why not get treated and get perfectly OK first? I am sure that if he was asked his opinion about his behavior, he will have a valid answer. Take care of your depression.

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Gecko
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The man is not affectionate or responsive and won't go to counseling - he doesn't sound like a man who is trying to "take care" to me.

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I have been told before the I make up things in my head, when I get depressed. I have realized that I am part of the problem, he does act as though he is afraid to talk to me about certain things. That may be the reason why he turns everything into a joke. As if he is trying to ease the tension. I usually become very aggravated and just don't bother with the subject. I think I will continue to give him reasons why we both should go to counseling, maybe he will change his mind. At least one of us is going, but I don't think much will change without him wanting to go.

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"I have been told before the I make up things in my head" ... People can create scenarios and be completely convinced that they're correct about them. My suggestion would be to phrase your doubts or thoughts in the form of a question rather than anything resembling an accusation.

On the other hand, sometimes it's best to follow your instincts. Sorry - I'm no help at all! It's a good thing you're seeing a counselor! If you can get him to go that would be great.

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