BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Sex problem =(

Ive been on the pill for 3 years now, and some of the side affects are or CAN be weight gain, mood swings and lower sex drive. And I can say that for me all of those I have noticed, but it hasn't been enough to bother me too much. And it's not like that for all women. It also depends on the type of pill. There are so many, and the hormone levels in each type are different too. You can try one type for 3 months and if you notice a side effect you really dont like, ask your doctor for another type that might be better.

You have so many options! Just talk to your doctor. And I agree with everyone else here that communication is key! Especially when it comes to intimacy, it would be awful to lose out on something so great all because you didn't talk about it.

Good luck to ya.

I'm not sure that you should put your body through hormonal changes just to accommodate a guy's hangups; among other things, that'll make his dysfunction a permanent thing, and that's no good for either of you.

Sounds like after the first run of soft-offs, he developed a complex about it. He can get over it with time. Maybe you can put the condom on for him? My lovers have always liked that. Another thing I've found is that sometimes when guys get soft, when they can say what they're anxious about, the problem goes away. But what someone said before on this thread is true; you yourself need to be honest with him.

Take the pressure off and have some fun that isn't sexual. Sounds like both of you need to relax. And I agree you need to communicate, but not when you in the middle of trying. In a much more non-threatening environment.

I ended up going on the Pill. Not that I was pressured, my bf was a bit worried he'd guilted me into it when I said I was gonna. I just wanted to sort stuff out, and we talked about it too, and yeah, everything's back to normal. Better in fact. =)

And no, the pill doesn't lower sex drive.

Oh, and I forgot to reply to Emma007
(when you said) "I'm not sure that you should put your body through hormonal changes just to accommodate a guy's hangups; among other things, that'll make his dysfunction a permanent thing"

It's not an issue anymore, we talked about it, and he's a lot more confident about condoms I'd say, because he doesn't have any major issues using them when we have sex in the few days between me finishing a strip of pills and coming on my period.
So yeah, everything's good.

i would talk to him again, this time about your relationship NOT birth control since it is obvious that is not something you are willing to try. Also maybe the two of you should go to see a relationship counseler or ask your gynocologist for some tips on how to reconnect your intimacy.