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Joined: Feb 2007
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SBH Offline OP
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Joined: Feb 2007
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So I had a miscarriage on Valentine's Day of this year. I told the guy who was the baby's father and he hasn't been there for me really. Part of it is because he does live out of state. But he was in town this weekend and promised to see me and then told me he didn't have a vehicle.
Then he invites himself to the movies with me and my friend and shows up drunk talking about nothing really and being rude and making me more upset about the miscarriage.
He's depressed over the miscarriage and wants a baby, but we're barely 18 and he's never stayed in a faithful commited relationship. I just don't know how to deal with this guy. I need him there for me, but I don't want to beg him to be there. We didn't plan on getting pregnant in the first place, especially since we weren't in a relationship. I just don't know what to do. I feel like since I didn't want to be pregnant is why the miscarriage happened, even though I know it isn't true. I sit here and cry over my lost baby and I was used to the facct of becomming a mommy despite it changing my entire life plan.
I'm looking for advice from anyone on how to deal with my lost, deal with this guy, and help me decide what's the best thing to do wether it be wait until later in life to have a baby or to try to have a baby again soon.

Last edited by SBH; 02/19/07 05:25 AM.
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Joined: Mar 2007
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Well first I would say to forget about this guy for now. Unless you think he is going to hurt himself because of his depression, and then you should get him some help, but this guy doesn't seem to be much of guy at all. Right now you are going through one of the hardest things you could go through and you don't need the added stress of him. You two are so young you have the rest of your lives to have a baby, but you only have right now to enjoy being 18 and doing all the things you want. Plus, if you were to get pregnant again and have the same misfortune, it would be 100 times harder the second time around. I too lost a baby recently and I was 17 weeks, it has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I never thought I would make it, but I did because I knew that I wasn't alone in this and millions of women have been through this same thing, and I realized that talking to some of these women, they could relate and helped me get through it. Go to you local churches and ask around for support groups for this kinda thing or even find a therapist or counselor who will talk to you about you lose. My prayers are with you. Hang in there, it will get better.


Moderated by  Christine - Miscarriage 

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