Hello. I am a guy looking for a little advice. Hope someone can help. My girlfriend and I were together for two years, but broke up about 5 months ago. I know I'm going to get some criticism for this, but the night i met her she had a boyfriend and had just found out he was cheating on her. She was very upset and did what many of us want to do when we find out our boyfriend/girlfriend has been cheating, and slept with one of my buddies. He had a girlfriend at the time and she walked in on them and they stopped. Later that night she and I ended up sleeping together too. I know it's a terrible way to start a relationship and hadn't planned on it, but the better we got to know each other, we ended up deciding to be together. Everything was great except for I had a hard time trusting her after that. I was never able to get over it and so I never wanted her to go out on her own. This isn't something you should do to someone, but she wanted me to feel like I could trust her and was very patient with me. We lived together and so did pretty much everything together since I wasn't comfortable with her going out on her own. After a while, that caused us to fight a lot. I understand her getting frustrated after so long, but I wasn't able to decide if I could trust her or just give her a chance. Finally, we fought so much that I asked her to move out and she did. At first I would still call her and things didn't seem to be getting any better, so I just stopped calling. She continued to call me everyday and since we've been apart and I've seen how she is on her own I learned that I really could have trusted her all along. Things have been getting much better the past few months and now that I know I can trust her, I feel like I made so many mistakes that ruined what was an otherwise wonderful relationship. I want to try being together again, and asked her. She said that she doesn't want a relationship right now, not necessarily ever, but just not right now. What I don't understand is she still calls me several times a day and she stops by at least 4 times a week and has done some really sweet things for me lately like stopping by with food and cooking me dinner. That's really sweet, but doesn't convey the message "i don't want a relationship"....i'm confused. She kisses me goodbye everytime I see her and just the other day was my birthday. She came over after I got home from the bar with my buddies and spent the night with me. We had sex for the first time in a few months. We talked about us today and she said she still doesn't want a relationship because she doesn't want things to go back to the way they were. Aside from sleeping together, as much as we see each other and talk, I feel like she is my girlfriend, but she isn't. I'm sorry for the long post, but my question is what do I do to change her mind? I know I hurt her by never trusting her and I know it must be nice to go out with her friends again finally, but I trust her now and am trying to do everything I can to let her realize that. Waiting for her to call me, not asking her a lot about who she's with or what she's doing, and just letting her know that I trust her now. We seem so close to being together again, but there must be something else or we would be. Any suggestions as to what I can do now would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to everyone who replies.
