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Joined: Jun 2006
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Shark
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Shark
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In the pediatric world, we call it "two terrible years" because once the 2's end the 3's being - then you get tantrums with verbal attitude! But, it will pass! Don't feel bad if you have to put the kids in their room to give you a break from the chaos. Many families find that this age group responds well to family time midafternoon with books or a movie - just to chill everyone out.

Also, I agree with Jan - additives and sugar do tork up some toddlers. Trial and error here but don't ignore it if you notice consistent causality with foods and behavior.


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Joined: Nov 2006
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Thank you Dr.Gwenn! I do feel guilty when I put him in his room.
I feel like he is spending most of his life in there these days and it will scar him forever ;( But it does seem to give him an opportunity to regain control of his emotions and his little body. And it gives me a chance to take a deep breath before talking to him AGAIN about the behavior.

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Koala
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Koala
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We don't use the bedroom for punishment--we try to keep that their sanctuary, the one place in the house the actually belongs to them. Both my 2 year old and 7 year old have a quiet corner in my office. That's where they go when they need to spend time contemplating their deeds--or the baby needs to pound the floor a bit.

The 2 year old has allergies to red and yellow food die and is sensitive to lactose; but so far none of the foods have had any impact on her behavior. Removing sugars, processed foods, etc., from her diet had no impact on behavior. Unfortunately.

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Parakeet
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Parakeet
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One other suggestion is based on my experience with my kids and in the classroom.

I'm a firm believer that most misbehaviors are signs of unmet needs.

Now I'm not saying you're not meeting your children's needs!! LOL The point is that children will act in ways we don't think are acceptable when they're tired, hungry, frustrated, bored, etc...So you can OFTEN eliminate the behavior if you get to the source of the problem.

For example, I find that my kids need lots of FLOOR TIME with mommy in the morning. You know, when I interact with them BEFORE I try to get any housework done, etc..They need that time with mommy and then they're able to play together and let me get some stuff done. When I used to get up start doing X, Y, and Z first, I ended up with attention-getting behavior being exhibited.

Also, my kids are both extroverts so we get out of the house in the morning and then are home for quiet afternoons. My son needs to get outdoors once a day (as does my daughter) and I see more behavior issues when I skip that due to rain, lack of time, etc...

We also try to set them up for success by going to the grocery store or a restaurant when they are WELL-RESTED. smile In other words, try to turn your way of thinking around so you're not focused on being reactive and being PROACTIVE instead.

Hope this rambling helps a bit! And I'm certainly not saying that they're sometimes just difficult, but more than 15 years of experience with young children in many different contexts has taught me that 95% of the time there's a need that's not being met at that particular moment...

Jan

Originally Posted By: Cyn_EarlyChildhood
Thank you Dr.Gwenn! I do feel guilty when I put him in his room.
I feel like he is spending most of his life in there these days and it will scar him forever ;( But it does seem to give him an opportunity to regain control of his emotions and his little body. And it gives me a chance to take a deep breath before talking to him AGAIN about the behavior.

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,172
Koala
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Koala
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Posts: 2,172
All of these things worked with the DS (now 7); but not with DD. Each child is SO very different. We've found that the DD simply needs her time to scream each day and give her a safe place to do it. We all have our moments.

As for the holding her breath thing, she does it when things don't go 100 percent her way. As I said, she's very "me" oriented right now. This will change eventually.

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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Hi Jan~
I agree with you. Attention, outings to run off the energy, letting them "help" me with chores, etc. Definitely helps take the edge off. The problem is he is EXTREMELY needy. With 5 kids he doesn't always get his due. He would have made a perfect only child, sometimes I wonder if we did him a disservice by not letting another family adopt him after reunification failed. But we were in love with him by then, and couldn't bare the thought of him leaving our family.

Lynn~
Another issue we have is "space". A definite lack of it. I would rather have him "mellow out" somewhere other than his room, but there is no where else for him to go. Anywhere near me is seen by him as a reward instead of a cooling off period. The bedroom he shares with his brother (also 2 nine weeks younger) is pretty bare with the exception of the beds and a dresser. All of their toys,books and playthings are in the playroom located off the kitchen. We don't use the term "time out" when putting him in his room. We tell him to "calm down" or "cool off". It seems to work because it IS his sanctuary. His blankie is on his bed. Although he is not told to lie down, this is usually what he chooses to do and sucks his thumb until he has him self under control again. I know it isn't the solution for everyone, but it works for him.
Cyn

Joined: Feb 2007
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E
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
E
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 152
Ah moms "suffern" just like me.I even began to wonder if it is only my son who is hot tempered.He throws things whenever he is angry or whenever he doesnt want them.He beats others including his dad.he finds it all amusing.We hve no idea how we can put a stop to it.
Tried spanking but he got angrier.Then we started talkn sweet but din work either.Ignoring him also din work.Now we are lost.He is 2yrs and 8 months old.
We tried to put him into his room but nothn bothered him or he wud scream at the top of his lungs.

moms ...help pls..
engee

Joined: Nov 2006
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Posts: 104
Engee~
I know how frustrating it can be when you feel like your child is out of control. Did you read all the previous posts in this thread? There are alot of good suggestions on how to handle a difficult two year old.

If you feel like his behavior is beyond what you might consider "normal" for a two year old, that anger might be the root of his behaviours you should seek help immediately. Making an appointment with your child's pediatrician is a good place to start. Discuss your concerns and ask for possible solutions.

Meanwhile you and your husband continue to handle him gently but firmly and make sure you are consistent. Find a support group like your local MOMS club so that you have someone to talk to.
I hope this helps!
Cyn

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