BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting Adult Stepdaughter

I am so glad you�ve mentioned counseling because my husband and I have decided to go. You have mentioned many things in your reply that I have been saying all along to my husband; setting boundaries, etc. We need a third party involved to hear both sides and offer constructive criticism to both us.

Like you, we sought counseling and did not stick with it. This time will be different.

Hello, I am new to this website. I'm having trouble with my 20 year old step daughter. I married her dad last July 4th, it was a whirl wind romance, but she seemed fine with that and appeared happy that he had found someone to love. Well, boy did that all change quickly. I thought we were building a great friendship, we went shopping, got our nails done, had several "girl's day's". Then all of a sudden, she begins showing signs of jealously. She starting ignoring me at family functions, quit calling and texting me, etc. Now she only calls her dad and invites him to her functions without inviting me. I recently lost my only son (Sept 5, 2006) and admit my emotions are very delicate right now, but she's really got me upset. My husband's afraid to say anything to her for fear she won't have anything to do with him. She told me that she was daddy's little girl and I was not going to interfere with them. HELP!

Hi, welcome to this site. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. This is so sad, I can't imagine going through the loss of a child. I have had tons of issues with my 2 step-daughters, who were polite to me for the first few months of my marriage to their Dad, but both gradually grew to dislike me. It's a really hard situation. Keep posting, and sharing here. I learn so much from others who are going through similar problems.
~ Sherry

First I am sorry for the loss of your son, I can only imagine what that does to you emotionally. But you are justified in being upset regardless of your emotional state. Secondly, I feel like your words resonate with me as well, I am going through the same thing! I am also new here, but if you want to talk I am here, I feel a little better just knowing I'm not the only one going through this. <big hugs>

Hello, I am new to this website. I'm having trouble with my 20 year old step daughter. I married her dad last July 4th, it was a whirl wind romance, but she seemed fine with that and appeared happy that he had found someone to love. Well, boy did that all change quickly. I thought we were building a great friendship, we went shopping, got our nails done, had several "girl's day's". Then all of a sudden, she begins showing signs of jealously. She starting ignoring me at family functions, quit calling and texting me, etc. Now she only calls her dad and invites him to her functions without inviting me. I recently lost my only son (Sept 5, 2006) and admit my emotions are very delicate right now, but she's really got me upset. My husband's afraid to say anything to her for fear she won't have anything to do with him. She told me that she was daddy's little girl and I was not going to interfere with them. HELP!

Sorry for the loss of your son.
Are you and your husband planning on having children. That's what might be causing her to be acting like this. I dont know why she has turned on you like this.
I am a step-daughter and my situation is alot different as my step-mother treats me like rubbish when I was a child. The we did get on when I lived with my father and her. So when I moved back to live with my mother she changed towards me and starting saying things that upset me. So I also did what your step-daughter did and cut my step-mum off. Not bothering texting her or calling her. Just really spoke to my dad on phone never even asked about my step-mum. Now we are not too bad but dont really like her. I had a reason for not speaking to my step-mother. Oh what it might be is the fact you take alot of your husband time and she may not see him much.
How do you feel about your step-daugher?

I want so badly for me and her to get along, I have alot of love to pour out to her, especially since I've lost my son. Every thing I try, turns to mud. Last night, she had an awards program for her nursing class. I went with my husband and when we got there I said hello to her and smiled. She wouldn't even look up at me. My poor husband doesn't know what to do and I just started to cry. Granted, my emotions are running on high right now. I think the only answer is to bow out of any of their get togethers, or events. I'll just stay home and let them two have their time together. It just seems weird to me, I just wanted one big happy family. We are both in our upper 40's and are not having any more children. All my children are grown and on their own and absolutly love my new husband.

I honestly dont think you are doing anything wrong to be honest. She might just think why does she have to be with my dad everytime he sees me. I just think if she demands more of his time and you dont get to spend time with your husband or she really gets nasty. Then your husband need to say something.
In my case i always try to be polite for my fathers sake and my brothers. Even though I dont really like her but would never be nasty. I use to be as I said because of her but i could understand if you done something but it don't seem you have. Oh yeah well from her view maybe you have stolen her day away from her mother or her. Maybe she had all his attention and sharing him with you she dont like. Sounds silly or weird because she is an adult. | sometimes feel that way but then I got my own family to think about. I'm not trying to be funny but to me she dont want to know and as you said let them spend time together. Its difficult for me to say why she is like this though. She definely upset about something but think maybe your partner should try and found out. If people notice this its not going to look good.
As I said sorry to hear about the loss of your son and dont worry to much she will get over whatever is bothering her.

Thanks for your understanding and kind words. My husband said last night that he was going to sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her. He told me he would never put my in that situation again. I honestly think that she feels I've taken her time away from her, but she's losing out, we as a couple have so much to offer her. I think things will change when she matures some more, maybe she needs a good boyfriend or something. Have a great day, and thanks again for your imput!

My husband said last night that he was going to sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her.

Omg what is he going to say to her or how is he going to approach the subject? Whatever happens let me know okay.
I am just hoping it dont make her worse towards you.
Good luck

Yeah, stupid idea huh? Needless to say, it didn't happen. We're just going to take it a day by day type thing and hope she comes around. I will just be as pleasant as I can to her and see what becomes, if anything. Thanks again..you made me laugh!!!