Hi everyone...

I'm wondering if anyone has a family member who suffers from bi-polar and all the issues that come along with it?

How do you deal with it yourself? How do you help them? How do you keep yourself from being affected negatively?

My dad is bi-polar and he goes through his stages through out the year. The whole family knows his patterns so well that we can predict what's going to happen next for the most part. Sometimes he does really well and then he just starts becoming obsessive with things, not taking care of himself, spending LOTS of money, not being around, not sleeping, etc etc etc... Lately he's gone downhill and Ive tried to help as much as I can, but he just doesn't seem to care or want the help. It's like his priorities aren't in the right order. And I'm kinda at a loss for what to do now. My mom left him almost 4 years ago, his brother doesn't have much to do with him because dealing with him was causing panic attacks and affecting his health negatively. Other family memebers are just confused by him, and no one knows what to do. He is my father, and I hate just watching him go down hill. I'm sure he's aware that he's not doing well, but I don't think he knows how much he needs help. He said he might not be around for Christmas for a couple reasons. 1) he doesn't like this time of year and 2) he has other plans.

I'm just confused and I don't know what to do. Do I let him live is life, and not associate with him as much, or do I try harder to help even though I've done all I can think of? I have suspicions about things, but I dont have proof about it, so I dont want to accuse him. And oh man, it's such a confusing situation, and sometimes I don't know if I make it sound worse than it is.

I know that I can't let it stress me out, and ruin my life, but at the same time I feel that because he is my father, I can't just let him screw up his life. I don't know.

Anyone else have to deal with anything like this??

couple things to add just to give a general idea of how he is:

He is an alcoholic, although he has not had a drink in just over a year. He has other addictions such as, women, and spending money that does not exist. He used to be very angry and has threatened to commit suicide about 4 times in my life, first time was on my birthday when I was 8, couple other times and the last time was just after my mom left him 3 or 4 years ago. He called me to say "goodbye" he was then hospitalized and then drank lots for months, then did very well for about a year then went down hill, then uphill and now back down. He lives alone. He's always been manipulative in ways, and the family realized it and now we always call him on it, so that doesn't work for him as much anymore. He's not violent. But when we were younger he was somewhat verbally abusive, and emotionally. He's been on many different meds.

I guess his recent behavior makes me think he isnt taking his meds, because if he was, he shouldn't be getting as high or as low as he gets.

The last thing is, he does very stupid things, then years later confesses to the family what he has done. Then he repearts them again. And then confesses. One of the more recent things was about 1 1/2 years ago he went out partying and smoked crack all night. He confessed months later to his brother, a year later to me, my mom and other family members. He also will leave out bits and pieces of stories until even later.

Sometimes you just have to pull back and say enough is enough. Once when my son was first born my mom called on one of her rants, she was going to kill herself... again. I had enough, and I was holding my infant son in my arms and realized I could not raise him in this drama. I said "see you at your funeral".

She hung up on me.

Now we are the best of friends, things have happened in her life that helped her "get a grip" but they had to happen to her and because of her, nothing I could do. I think she finally realized this.

thanks for replying SkinnyDipr...

I know that's probably the only thing I can do, but it's hard to do it. It's hard to sit back and let things happen. It sucks because I sometimes feel like I am the parent.

Yup, I was the parent for a long long time and just got sick of it.

Lala
I�m so sorry for your father. Are you sure he is bi-polar?
I don�t think so! Although most of the men are somewhat bi-polar!
Surely you know your father better than every one else but let me tell my opinion although maybe I was wrong.
I think he is kind and sensitive guy but hasn�t known, how show his emotions.
If he has followed women beauty, pleasure and lush, it isn�t so amazing, most of men have this problem and it don�t show any descend in his family love.
He really loves his family and two times committed for suicide, shows his concern I think. He is alone and need attention. His man vanity prevents him to reveal who he is really. If he hasn�t have drink during a year, can�t account him addicted any more. I guess he wanted to back to family and for this reason gave up alcohol.
I�m a father and love my daughter so much even more than my wife but for connection with her my wife always role as mediator, about me seems it�s necessity.
I think your mother can be more helpful to bring him back to family than you.

I'm bipolar and i take 900mg of seroquel manic-depressive illness (biploar disorder)commonly occurs, a person who is manic is generally elated but may also be irrtable, cantankerous,or frankly hostile along with a hugh capacity foractivity can make the person impatatient,intrusive,meddlesome and aggressively irrable when crossed mental activity speeds upconstantly shifts from one theme or endeavor to another there are two types of bipolar type1 and type 2, me my self i ride the bipolar roller coaster all the time, make sure yourdadgetdthe helps he needs

Yes babak my dad is absolutely bi-polar. Trust me, he's gone through so much with doctors, testing, meds, therapy etc etc. The rollercoaster life he's lived is one sure sign. My dad is sensitive and can show his emotions, though it can be hard to have them controlled. I have learned very much about this disorder, so I can understand as much as I can about my dad. I don't know what it's like, but I know what I know about it. I know how it works, what it does to the person, I know how the meds work...

Pardon for my fault.
It�s nice that you are still concern of your dad.
Dose he live alone? Who care of him?