My next article(s) will revolve around being less critical of yourself and others. It's something I struggle with personally - I'm way too judgmental! - and in learning how to be more gentle with myself, I want to encourage others to do the same.

Any tips on how to be less critical? Not just body image, but at work, with your kids, when you throw a party, when you're with your relatives over the holidays....

Being less critical is almost as simple as your abc's.

a - activating event
b - belief
c - consequence (sad, happy, angry, frightened)
d - dispute
e - effect

The activating event determines the outcome, but it is our belief that determines the consequence.
If we believe that we are stupid and we make a mistake, we will believe that we have failed because we are stupid.
If we change our belief and see what we are doing as a learning process, we will still be happy. It may not have worked, but because we have changed our belief, we persist and try something else.

If you dont like the consequence, you can dispute it. Then we have an effect, whether desired or not.

So if you find yourself being critical, examine your beliefs about yourself. If you can learn to love yourself and change what you believe about yourself, you will become less critical.

Here is something I do. when I become very critical of myself, I tell myself that I forgive you. do not worry. Do not bother. Everybody makes mistakes. after that I touch my body with love. It helps me to some extent.

How do you deal with your inner critic? This article, http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art40192.asp How Your Inner Critic Affects Your Body Image, discusses how the critic arises and how it affects you.

My next article will involve dealing with your inner critic. So -- how do you live with criticism, from yourself and others? I'd love some "real" feedback!

Thank you cdmohatta and sandy 22 for your suggestions :-)

Thank you

I say a sincere prayer and tell myself, its now how many times I've fallen on the same ground but how many times I managed to stand up everytime I fall

To be less critical of others- be more compassionate.

Since I posted this, I've been alot less critical! Imagine that. Maybe just getting it out there was what I needed to subdue those critical feelings.

That's what's great about discussion forums :-)

I'm noticing my critical thoughts when they pop into my head, and letting them go. It's like, "Oh. I think he should do this not that." And then it fades away. It's cool.

It's easy for me to be less critical of others...I just say that no one can judge unless they were in the same position.No one is perfect.
yet,I CAN be highly critical of myself. Sometimes have a good cry and then I feel fine.

I try to remember when someone was "understanding" of me, or something I did wrong/bad/not popular. I try to use graciousness, being grateful that I was accepted, and try to do the same. It's hard for me sometimes, my family has pretty much been "I am right!" and it can be inherited... unfortunately.

I don't know what I was talking about in my earlier post, about becoming less critical of myself! Just last night I kicked myself for an hour for saying something in a group that I was worried would be misperceived or hurtful.

I HATE when I do that to myself. I want to just let things go, lighten up.....

UGh! I've done that too Laurie! I just try to surround the situation with blessings and move on LOL!

Totally understand the feeling. I used to brood forever over mistakes made. I've learnt to forgive myself. The turning point came when I read Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind series.The essence is to take control of your mind. There is a greater power in control of everything, and if only we can but trust and be grateful for all the good we have, no matter how small...
Bob Proctor explains more on the mindset of gratitude, getting out of the poverty trap in this report:BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Laurie,

You have begun observing the fact that you are critical about yourself. You can now begin the journey. A lovely beginning.

For those who can't forgive themselves or others, I recommend Wayne Dyer's 10 Secrets to Success and Inner Peace. He offers advice on how to let go of the past and it really changed my life when I read it.

I think people are often harder on themselves than they are on others. When you are upset with yourself over the past, or being critical of yourself, ask yourself "Would I say these things to my best friend?" Treat yourself as you would your best friend. Be compassionate, realize you did your best under past circumstances, or perhaps you did all you knew how to do at the time. Live in the NOW, you can't change the past.

I am the same way, I am my own worst critic. I do not judge anyone, why do I do it to myself?

Thanks for the info guys, great points...I even took notes:~)

I think after I lost weight and realized that it did not change who I was or my health, popularity or anything... I think that is when I stoped judging myself so much. all my life I heard you would feel so much better about yourself if you lost weight and you would get a good man to love you if you lost weight and you would be healthier if you lost weight. then I lost weight 100 pounds and I was still the same old me with the same old health problem, same old no boyfriend issue and same old poor self esteem issues. The only thing that change was that the people how made fun of me or gave me the great advice to lose weight they felt better about me. Now they could talk to me in public and not have to worry about people making fun of them for talking to the fat girl!

I have gained back all the weight that I once lost but with that I have gained the wisedom of knowing that being thin wont solve my problems it doesnt even lessen the problems but it does add to them. I had "friend" that all the sudden took credit for changing my life and forcing me to lose all that weight and makeing me a BETTER PERSON and I got more usless advice about how I need to ditch my old fat friend and get popular friends and how I needed to do this and think this and blah blah blah...

After all that, I figure I am perfect the way I am as long as I am reasonibly healthy!!