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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 311
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 311
My next article(s) will revolve around being less critical of yourself and others. It's something I struggle with personally - I'm way too judgmental! - and in learning how to be more gentle with myself, I want to encourage others to do the same.

Any tips on how to be less critical? Not just body image, but at work, with your kids, when you throw a party, when you're with your relatives over the holidays....

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Joined: Nov 2006
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Being less critical is almost as simple as your abc's.

a - activating event
b - belief
c - consequence (sad, happy, angry, frightened)
d - dispute
e - effect

The activating event determines the outcome, but it is our belief that determines the consequence.
If we believe that we are stupid and we make a mistake, we will believe that we have failed because we are stupid.
If we change our belief and see what we are doing as a learning process, we will still be happy. It may not have worked, but because we have changed our belief, we persist and try something else.

If you dont like the consequence, you can dispute it. Then we have an effect, whether desired or not.

So if you find yourself being critical, examine your beliefs about yourself. If you can learn to love yourself and change what you believe about yourself, you will become less critical.

Joined: Apr 2006
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Wolf
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Wolf
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Here is something I do. when I become very critical of myself, I tell myself that I forgive you. do not worry. Do not bother. Everybody makes mistakes. after that I touch my body with love. It helps me to some extent.

Joined: Sep 2006
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Shark
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Shark
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 311
How do you deal with your inner critic? This article, http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art40192.asp How Your Inner Critic Affects Your Body Image, discusses how the critic arises and how it affects you.

My next article will involve dealing with your inner critic. So -- how do you live with criticism, from yourself and others? I'd love some "real" feedback!

Thank you cdmohatta and sandy 22 for your suggestions :-)

Thank you

Joined: Nov 2006
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Shark
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Shark
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Posts: 269
I say a sincere prayer and tell myself, its now how many times I've fallen on the same ground but how many times I managed to stand up everytime I fall

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Wolf
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Wolf
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To be less critical of others- be more compassionate.

Joined: Sep 2006
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Shark
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Shark
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Posts: 311
Since I posted this, I've been alot less critical! Imagine that. Maybe just getting it out there was what I needed to subdue those critical feelings.

That's what's great about discussion forums :-)

I'm noticing my critical thoughts when they pop into my head, and letting them go. It's like, "Oh. I think he should do this not that." And then it fades away. It's cool.

Joined: Mar 2007
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C
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C
Joined: Mar 2007
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It's easy for me to be less critical of others...I just say that no one can judge unless they were in the same position.No one is perfect.
yet,I CAN be highly critical of myself. Sometimes have a good cry and then I feel fine.

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I try to remember when someone was "understanding" of me, or something I did wrong/bad/not popular. I try to use graciousness, being grateful that I was accepted, and try to do the same. It's hard for me sometimes, my family has pretty much been "I am right!" and it can be inherited... unfortunately.



Andrea B.
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You Are What You Think.
[url=www.MySoyBox.org]www.MySoyBox.org[/url]
Joined: Sep 2006
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Shark
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Shark
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Posts: 311
I don't know what I was talking about in my earlier post, about becoming less critical of myself! Just last night I kicked myself for an hour for saying something in a group that I was worried would be misperceived or hurtful.

I HATE when I do that to myself. I want to just let things go, lighten up.....

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