BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Mental Health Cure for celebrity obsession?

Hello everyone, I am new here, and I have what I consider to be a big problem. I am obsessed (!) with a celebrity. It started out as just mild interest and gossiping but it's now gotten way out of hand. I am a 47 yo professional woman w/a busy job and home life. This problem is embarassing! I can't admit it to my closest friends or even my doctor. It's the kind of thing I would expect out of a teenager (no offense to teens here). Has anyone else had this & what should I do to cure this???

Check out this article written by Lisa Angelettie. She has some great ideas here and it may be helpful for you. It also might help to actually talk about why you are concerned about your behavior. What do you do, how are you thinking. Sometimes being able to verbalize this will allow you to see something you haven't before. http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28512.asp

Thanks,Carissa. I have read this article before but will print it off and carry it with me!! Why am I concerned about this? Well,it monopolizes my thoughts, and it's a dead end - I know I should be more interested in my own life but I can't seem to get anything going. I wish there were a support group for people like me..

That is a fantastic idea actually! Here are some results I found for starting your own, from other articles I've read online you are definitely not alone.
1. http://add.about.com/c/ht/01/06/How_Start_Support_Group0991535632.htm
2. http://mentalhelp.net/selfhelp/

I like the second one best because it gives online options for those with busy schedules. Let me know if you do it! I think that would be a really awesome opportunity for you if you do.
Blessings!

I too have this problem and I'm relieved to hear from someone else. I'm like you, I would never tell anyone the extent of my obsession, although most of my friends and family know that I have some what of an interest in this person. I devote way too much time to various thoughts about him and not enough time to living my real life. I would love to hear more from you about this, let me know if you find or form a self-help group because I would love to get involved.

Oh, you sound just like me!! I went to a counselor once but was just too embarrassed to admit it! If you don't want to discuss it on the board, feel free to PM me. I am going to look into the links that Carissa told us about, also.
Its such a relief to hear I'm not alone!!

Well, I just read the article, and quite frankly I think it's a lot of guilt producing bunk! The way those questions are set up, you can't but help but seemed flawed. Does the guilt for your "obsession" stem from someone (a husband or boyfriend perhaps) who may be jealous that you have an interest other than just being "ordinary" or being constantly at their beck and call?

I don't see that you have a problem other than the guilt. Does the guilt come in here because someone else is trying to put that trip on you?

Quite frankly, I am tired of seeing women stereotyped in such a way where celebrity admiration is concerned. Why is it that men can have an interest in sports or something else (like strippers) and they're not treated like they have a mental illness but god forbid if a woman lets herself enjoy some fantasy time about an "unattainable" celebrity?

As long as you choose to keep things in perspective, it's not a problem. I am 45, and for the past 34 years, I have nurtured a celebrity "obession" and I've no wish whatsoever to be "cured" of it. Why? Because I love it, it makes me feel good, and if you took my so-called "obsession" from me and told me I have to be "realistic" (read BORING)....you'd have one upset lady on your hands...and IMO it's better to be interested in the stars than spending time overreating, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, constantly complaining, nagging others or cheating on your partner, right?

There is a positive side to admiring celebrities. It brings a spring to your step, a smile on your face, and something to look forward to. Yes, I do have a full and busy life with family and friends...so just having that time to "escape", turn back the clock and feel youthful and giddy is a godsend in my book.

For me, this 'obsession' with a specific pop/rock star has been a good thing, and I credit this particular celebrity for giving me the inspiration to be creative and pursue the career I had always wanted to pursue and couldn't just cuz of so-called "realistic" parents, teachers, conformist friends and an ex-spouse who held me back all those years. I am currently preparing to cut a CD of my own original songs, and I've even lined up local gigs. No, I probably won't be as famous as the object of my "obsession" but I'm doing what I want...being creative...and that's what matters.

This part Spring, I actually met my "obsession" face to face in an appropriate sanction setting (on a VIP soundcheck pass) and was able to tell him how much happiness he's brought into my life and how he inspired me to pick up guitar again after setting aside a year before, and how I am now a singer and songwriter thanks to his example all those years ago. BTW he seemed to appreciate what I said to him.

So I say, don't be embarrassed. Just lighten up and enjoy those flights of fancy...then determine how you can incorporate "star quality" into own life. That's the "cure" not hunkering down into some cheerless "reality."

As for that one question about would I want to live somewhere else indicating a celebrity obsession...that is a crock. Sure, I'd love to live in Beverly Hills, Bel Air or Malibu, but let's face it, it's not feasible so I bring BH or Malibu into my own life in the Northwest where I live, by making things special...what's so wrong with that? I dress and carry myself as the "rock star" in my own life...and you know what? People here love it because I'm upbeat and positive...maybe that's the "cure" for all fullness and busyness. Look for your inner celebrity? Works for me!

Well, starbaby, you obviously didn't read our posts as both I and terribean both stated "I devote way too much time to various thoughts about him and not enough time to living my real life. " that's a quote from terribean's post which says her problem better than I did.
Just because you are happy w/your life & your decisions doesn't mean everyone else is. But it's the differences between us that make things interesting.

A good point again Elizisme2 ~ for starbaby, if you're happy with you, satisfied and don't feel there's a problem then great! That's how we all want to feel and be secure in. No one is condemning anyone here - we ALL have our obsessions over things. But if one personally feels that they need to reorganize priorities/thoughts in order to feel better about themselves or just to have room to focus on other things, then I believe that shows character and responsibility. I commend the step and support it.

Oh, I read the postings all right....and there was no condemnation intended. I was merely offering another equally valid perspective, that's all...

but apparently, this is a group that is NOT open to other viewpoints.

I still don't think there's nothing wrong with you.

"I still don't think there's nothing wrong with you.'

I lost 45 lbs last year when he & his girlfriend broke up. I get up during the night and check the gossip sites to see if he's made any news. I check his official website at work when I'm supposed to be working, even when I'm on the phone to people! I get physically sick and can't eat when he goes out drinking and clubbing... I think more about his childhood than I do my own.... I care more about his personal life than I do my own... I've spent a lot of money on his stuff- dvds, CDs, souvenirs, memorabilia (even when it's terribly overpriced). I have a collection of over 100 CDs that are filled w/things downloaded from the internet about him... I'd rather think about him than listen to or deal w/my family... I can't be comfortable if I am away from my PC because I check on him several times a day...

I appreciate that fact that you, Starbaby, don't think there's anything wrong w/me, but you don't know me enough to really understand what I'm going through...

Starbaby I can see your point, and I think it's great that your c.b. has caused you to be inspired to make some good decisions for your life. I would never tell someone else to get over their obsession if they don't think it's adversely affecting their life. Mine, on the other hand, is pulling me away from real things I should be thinking about. I think of him every spare moment, even at work when I'm walking down the hall to go to the restroom! I think it's harmful and abnormal FOR ME. And I think my fantasies cause me to miss out on any chance I would have to find love with a real man, because of course no one can compare to my c.b. and how he treats me in my fantasy. In my mind he is perfect in looks and actions, but I know in real life he's just a guy like any other, with good qualities and faults.

Just my 2 cents,
Terri

Do you think of this celebrity as a perfect person?

No, I don't think of him as perfect, he's just a very special guy. I know he has faults and all just like everybody else, but I can't stop thinking about him...

Hello again!
I just wanted to see if there was any interest in getting this thread started again. I met a wonderful person through this discussion, we have been able to help each other quite a bit w/our celeb issues. But I am still having issues and just wanted to see if anyone else out there is having problems like this?

I am curious about why this happens actually.
I have celebrity crushes, such as Denzel Washington, George Clooney and the like. I enjoy their movies, I swoon watching them, I tune in to see them interviewed.
But ultimately to feel more for them I would have to project onto them my own sense of what I want them to be, for how they TRULY are is a mystery to me.
I think celebrity obsession is escapism, and is also a way of channeling feelings into someone unobtainable in an effort to avoid real world relationships. I would liken it to people who obsess over online " lovers" who are 99% fabricated by our own slant on who we want them to be.
The question is less to ask what they offer you that you can learn to resist, but rather " what am I avoiding by tying my kite to their string?"

^ A very good point you make! I agree with you, that it is a form of escapism. And, I guess the solution is to work on putting more things in my own life so that I will focus less on the celebrity.

I have made some real progress, can't believe it's been so long that I've been struggling with this! I think it arose after I had some pretty bad personal traumas, and it was a way to just get away from stress in my life. I am still dealing with the aftermath of this, and I have noticed that when things go wrong in my life (I was recently laid off), my celebrity obsession comes back but never as bad as it was. Thanks for everyone trying to help me out!

hi, im a teenager, 18. and just today i typed in how to cure a celebrity obsession and this came up so i decided to sign up.

i have had this problem for years obsessing over celebrities but most recently its been this couple of celebrities.. and its gotten to the point where its so bad, that i find myself acting out their lives sometimes... it doesnt help that the celebrity posts video blogs all the time.. this doesnt help when im doing my hsc exams at the moment.

i really need some help and ill read the rest of the posts on here to a greater extent. but yeah as the first poster said it does get to a point where you get so lost in their lives that you loose sight of yours.

its been good to be able to open up about this.. i find it difficult to tell anybody how much of a problem it really is.

Dear Elizisme2, I am new to this site. I realize you wrote this question about two years ago. If you have solved your problem--great. I hope a celebrity obsessed person reading this post, will be able to get something out of this. Many so called professionals who deal with celebrity obsession also deal with at least 100 other mental health issues. They are also people who work on theory and not individuality. I only deal with celebrity obession. You could call me the Dr. Ruth or Colonel Sanders of Celebrity obsession. "We treat celebrity obession right." My credentials are simple, I wrote two books on the subject, I spent 6 years as a teenager obsessed with David Cassidy, later I spent 6 years obsessed with John Travolta. Then, I decided to figure it all out. Someone told you about a woman who had a list about celebrity obsession like,Do you exercise regularly or do you watch a lot of television? That's fine at some stage, but not at the beginning of trying to find out about your celebrity obsession. If you had early symptoms of a heart attack, do you stop watching televsion and exercise more , or do you go to the doctor for a check up? Celebrity obsession is not something to get rid of, it is to be understood. It is not a problem unto itself, but more of a symptom. If you keep getting severe headaches you don't expect aspirin to cure it. You need medical attention. Here is the "medical treatment." The first thing on my list is about when you first realized you were obsessed over a particular celebrity. I remember when I was about to work on "So You Want To Be A Rock n' Roll Bride". I didn't want to tap into my teenage self because I knew all she wanted to do was talk about David Cassidy. It worked out. It became fun. My obsession began when I was reading a book about television shows. I came upon a picture of David in which I had a psychic experience concerning David's discomfort with his celebrity. Rereading that part of the book from time to time, I can see that there was a parallel between David's new found celebrity and my being a special needs teenager. Later on I was obessed with John Travolta for six years. I read a biography which was written in interview style. He described Scientology " It helps you to [b]understand [/b] yourself and someone else-- and when you can do that you can deal better with them and [b]understand[/b] what's going on. " These two examples represent my issues being a special needs teenager and not being understood. Very important. It doesn't matter if John really would have understood me or not. What is important is that I wanted him to. Now I can just deal with those two issues. I don't really have a celebrity obsession anymore since I understand it now. Now I just have issues that came out of those past obsessions to work on. Once you get through the first exercise, you will clearly understand what your celebrity obsession was all about and begin to work on that. You might find you need further education or to join some type of workshop. I decided to join an assertiveness workshop and then I went back to college to get a degree in English. The latter has to do with the third exercise, the celebrity fantasy portion. I love what I did with the David Cassidy character. I still have a lot of work to do on myself since I have to knock down many many years of the poor image that I have as a disabled person. I am working on my third celebrity obsession book which is about what to do once you are diagnosed. If "So You Want To Be A Rock n' Roll Bride" diagnosed my celebrity obsessions, maybe the third book will cure me of what led me to the obsessions in the first place.

Hi, I know this is an old thread but I'm going through exactly the same problem as this right now and I'm finding it very hard to deal with. I'm doing all the right things, I've tried to cut them out of my life, I have an appointment booked with a therapist but it's still driving me to despair because I'm still completely obsessed with this person. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hey everyone I am brand new also and came across this post when I googled it I have found everyones posts so helpful I am dealing with the exact same thing right now. So I am no stranger to obession when I was a teenager I was completely overcome with Angelina Jolie but got over it and vowed to myself I would never fall into obession again it's such an awful lonely feeling. well here I am 23 and obessing over this freaking Irish actor I just love him. Not really though sense I don't know him, I just want more out of life and frankly I feel so bored with my life. I went to school graduated this year I got laid off from my retail job so I am trying so very hard to find work and I can't anywhere even within my field can you say depressing... my friends are so flaky and seem to only love me when I am buying drinks I can't seem to find decend friends that really like me or a good man my exs are just playas,I agreee I notice it more when I don't have a lot going on . It feels good to get that out even if noone ever reads it cause its a couple years old. Thanks

Just want to welcome all you newbies to the forum, We hope that you all will enjoy your stay
Rosie

Hello. I am hoping that I can find some help here. Here is my story. I was 11 years old when my parents died and it was also when I heard David Cassidy sing. His music brought me back from a very lonely place and I give him the credit for saving me. I was a typical "teenage" fan for a few years and then forgot about him until a few years ago. (I am 45 now and married for a long time). I started having dreams about him. In my dreams, I give him a letter that I wrote and how he saved me. He feels like he is right in the room with me in my dreams. I meet him and we talk. He hugs me and tells me "I have seen your face in my dreams." I believe that we are somehow connected. In one dream a few months ago, he said to me "believe that we are destined to meet. It's in the stars, keep trying and have hope." Sometimes I will have visions of him being with me in a room. Other times, I feel that he is right behind me. I can feel his breath on my neck. I think about David all of the time and I miss him terribly, even though I have never met him. I have mailed this letter to him many times and never got a reply. Everything reminds me of him. Most recently, I felt compelled go to California for a vacation because I thought he might be there and I would meet him finally. I didn't meet him and now I am very upset. I am confused because I am certain that my dreams mean something, but now I don't know what at the point. Thank you for listening and I look forward to a response.

Hello Devoted45. Thank you for being open enough to share your story. I also am obsessed with celebrities. I say celebrities because I obsess over one band or musical group for a span of maybe 6 months and then become bored and move on to another celebrity. I share some of the same thoughts as you, such as wanting to meet my idol in person. I won't say his name, but one of the celebs I was obsessed with also lived in California. I have fantasized about going there and running into him at one of the places he frequents just to meet him and talk. Most recently, through formal introductions, I have met one of my celebrity obsessions. Though before I met him I was interested in his music but I wasn't obsessed; it was after our meeting when I started thinking about him constantly, saving his photos online, and reading interviews and learning any news about him. This article was posted here before; which I found helpful [url=http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28512.asp]http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28512.asp[/url] I agree with the writer of that article, in that, celebrity obsession is a symptom of a bigger problem within ourselves. At the same time, obsession over our celebrity seems so innocent which is probably why we can go on for months and years without getting help. Fan forums don't help either. I feel like an alcoholic going to the bar each time I visit a fan forum. No one there admits having a problem; and probably 75% of them do. The article listed 10 questions. Perhaps going through those questions could help you understand your problem. I hope everything works out for you.

Hi I am so glad that i found this forum as of recent I have come upon a celebrity that I have become obessed with for about a month the characters that he chooses to play are usually the complex sweet unique misunderstood types and I think he picks these roles because they may be relatable to him I have googled him everyday for about a week and constantly think of him he is cute but physically not my usual type which in one way is kind of good because it has open up my mind to maybe date a different type of guy I am trying to find a silver lining with this sudden obsession before I came to this forum I kinda self diagnosed my real problem I haven't had a relationship in two years and I am sorta ready to get back out there but I am scared of so many things I'm scared to get my heart broken I'm scared that it might actually work I'm scared that I might compare every guy to this new obsession I don't know I do feel better about how I feel after coming to this site though I know my obsession is probably worse when i feel lonely also I sorta have obsessions like this during my whole life but not this strongly since I was eighteen and at that time I think I was scared because I had just graduated from high school and didn't know what i was going to do with my life now I'm thirty and kinda in the same predicament

Hi! Like everyone else here posting on this topic, I also am obsessed with a celebrity. Have been for the past two years. I think about him 24/7. I post endlessly about him on my Facebook profile. I'm also married and my husband knows that I do like this particular actor, but he doesn't really know how deep my feelings are for this man, or what I say about him. I have to say this, that I actually enjoy obsessing over this man all the time. I do in fact, love it! I love the 'fantasy world' that I've created in my mind with this actor. I think I have a pretty good handle on things and I'm sorry that many of you are suffering with this. Don't get me wrong, I have my share of 'bad' days too, when I'm upset that I'll NEVER get to be with this man for real, but I UNDERSTAND that. Would I love to be with this man? Of course I would be! But I know that nothing will ever come of this. It still doesn't stop me from having my fantasies of him and I'm really ok with just that..a fantasy. I would love to talk to some of you about this. Post back to me here, or message me if you would like to talk. Maybe I can be of some help to you.