BellaOnline Forums Family Senior Living Babysitting the grandkids

Hi, just wondered what everyones' thoughts were on this. My stepdaughter has a wild 3 year old and just had a baby and wants to move near us so we can be part of the kids lives, ie babysit. She lives near her husband's parents now and complains that they don't have time for the grandkids but I've met them and they work hard and have been trying to recoup from some money problems so I don't blame them.

My other stepdaughter is due in feb and also wants to move to our area. I just wonder if the kids are expecting too much about how we will want to be all involved with the grandkids.

I have 3 stepdaughters and one of my own who is still in college. Not sure if I'll feel different about my own daughter's kids or not. I used to do daycare and spent years running after kids so am not anxious to do it again.

My husband was all for throwing himself into the grandkid thing until we went to visit his daughter when she had her baby. The 3 year old is a real handful and wore my husband out.

How do people out there handle this? Move away? My husband is now talking about moving a state away when we retire, which he wouldn't hear of a couple months ago.

It is an awkward situation. The best thing is to be up front and say something like you are getting older and do not want to be full time babysitters for the grandchildren the main read is it would wear you out and we just have not got the patience we once had.

Something along those lines. You have to be honest with them. I was in the same situation and just baby sit now and again. As selfish as it sounds they know our life comes first.

You just need to be up front. You have raised your children and you and your husband are heading into retirement which is a time for the two of you to spend time together enjoying life and having the freedom to do what you want to do without having time restraints or responsiblities. Grandchildren are a blessing and a joy but they are not your responsibility to raise and your children should be ashamed for assuming that you will be their full-time babysitter. Be up front, your relationship with your husband is important and taking on the responsibility of young children can be tiring. I hope things work out for you.

Thanks for the advise. Altho the grandkids are not living near us yet, I have already brought up the subject of our busy lives many times. Also, I found it helps to have a job, either for pay or volunteer!

My husband and I decided to get an RV and travel so that also helps with the unavailability.

The other thing to maybe drop into a discussion, as and when appropriate, is the recommendation that they investigate how much it costs to hire a babysitter in your area.... because if they ever want to go out, of course, they'll need a good and reliable one....and goodness knows they are hard to find! <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I got custody of my grandson when he was born, that was 22yrs ago he is still with me, I agree with toetappings post, be upfront and remember you deserve a break you did raise your own,