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#255113 - 06/23/06 02:42 PM the new girlfriend  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 21
mirly Offline
Newbie
mirly  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 21
winnipeg, manitoba
One of the issues surrounding divorce that continues to astound me is the judgmental opinion that the new partner of the former spouse expresses when she talks of the problems her new partner endured in his marriage. She tends to take to heart all the words spoken to her without taking the time to verify if they are true or not. Do women have such a perverse need to have someone in their lives that they fail to use common sense when it comes to dating and new relationships. Perhaps it is that women need to see the beauty in all things that they tend to allow the poetry of good behavior to cloud their judgment when it comes to seeing the good and the bad in the new dating partner. Perhaps it is a loyalty issue since most women have such a strong nurturing capacity that they tend to get fierce about protecting those around them. Most former spouses dislike with a passion that the ex-husbands partner shares her opinion about their marriage. The truth of the matter is that she will never feel what they felt when they felt it. Even if she lives with him for 15 years as I did, she will never feel the same emotions since she wont be raising children for that time period. The stressors will not be the same, her personality will differ from from the first wives and the former spouse will also not have the same stressors so his reaction to his life will be altogether different. Sometimes I am sure they feel like shouting�� call me in 15 years hon and then tell me what a nice guy my ex husband really is� Because right now� you are so in the honeymoon stage that you couldn�t possibly know what you are in store for.�
Some folks may feel that the first wives are still angry about the divorce and therefore will not be happy with anyone who chooses to share the ex`s life. Not true. In my case, I feel relieved that he is busy with someone else. I just am not happy with the fact that she feels the need to comment on something she has no clue about.
I heard recently that my ex has made some positive changes in his life due to health issues so I am happy about that since now my kids have a chance of having their father around for a bit longer. I wish him well!

Last edited by mirly; 06/26/06 09:16 PM.
#255114 - 07/04/06 01:57 PM Re: the new girlfriend  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 54
reddraken Offline
Amoeba
reddraken  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 54
I could not agree more. I feel the same way. I was the one who left, I am happy he has someone in his life, but the poor me stuff is just too much. I hope she is watching because by the grace of God there goes her in a few years. Do these woman not get that there are two sides to every story and the truth lies somewhere in the middle? In my case there was no victims, just alcohol, his alcohol.


Reddraken
#255115 - 07/12/06 06:29 PM Re: the new girlfriend  
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 447
trishh Offline
Gecko
trishh  Offline
Gecko

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 447
Niagara Falls, Canada
I had to shake my head when my ex remarried. I wondered, "Does she (the new wife) KNOW what she's getting into?" I guess that's common. I bear him no ill will at all and am happy he has found love, but there ought to be a full disclosure act somewhere for those considering a "used" mate (ok, previously loved.) Something like you get when buying a used car... but then I wonder what he might have said about me! Maybe not such a good idea after all! <img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


Be kinder than you need to be. Everyone is dealing with something.
#255116 - 11/07/06 07:34 PM Re: the new girlfriend  
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 36
AimeeMae Offline
Newbie
AimeeMae  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 36
Kansas
I am new to this board; but not to divorce. I have been going through a rather colorful divorce that has lasted about 9 months (with no end in sight...) My ex has been seeing this girl since before he even left me. He dated her once before and left him because of his infidelities to her. So needless to say; I had to shake my head at her when I found out about them because she's already been through all this once. She must just be a glutton for punishment....


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