BellaOnline Forums News and Politics Crime What's really going on in Sex Offenders minds?

I'm sure the program will be repeated, so sad.
They have 2 children, correct?

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

Yes 2 childern & they are very happy. It just goes to show you that one size doesn't fit all meaning that not every teenager (younger or older) isn't necessarily a victim & not every adult having a relationship with such persons is a predator...possibly?
If something like a older female teacher had sex with me when I was a teenager, I personally would know it to be unethical. I wouldn't of felt like a victim. Now restraining someone & forcing them to have sex against their consent or will is a whole different story regardless of age difference. That should never be tolerated!
The question is this: Do you think the majority of these younger persons only feel like victims mostly because of society's perception which is like I said before, one size fits all?
I think this is true for females. Society since the dawn of time has perceived females as being the weaker sex therefore "victim" is assumed before anything even really happens. I think women should be insulted by this. They don't challenge this, because they can use it to their advantage to make their life easier in some way or another. Excluding instances of forced rape that is of course violent, do you think most of these women would of actually felt their experiences as positive like males do? I tend to think the answer to that is, probably.
Mary Kay Lortourno gets much justification & reprieve & she may deserve it. If she were a guy with a much younger student a girl who completely 100% consents & loves the older male teacher, he would of still been put out to pasture. This double standard shouldn't exist...it's wrong, plain & simple.
I think alot of these sexual experiences & relationships become problems or at least over exaggeratted because society labels & perceives them to be much worst or sensational than they actually are or could be. When in actuality, each situation & circumstance can be different than the other & we should really take each individuals feelings into consideration more. Life & people aren't black nor white, but shades of gray.
That being said, I did have a few experiences when I was younger with an older female babysitter. That is, I was able to learn, experiment & explore about sex with her. Yes at the time she could of been arrested for it if her or my parents found out. Still, I didn't feel like a victim & I still don't today. She initiated it of course but I was also interested, willing, & able. Till this day it was a positive learning experience for me sexually. That's the last thing I want to be is some guy who doesn't know how to please a woman, or some guy who repressed sexually like most people seem to be. And I always have her to thank for that.
Also, later when I was 17, I dated a 32 yr old woman for almost a year. It was a great relationship I'll always remember & it was our choice. I simply didn't want to date another 17 year old girl or even girls under 25 & put up with all the mind game bull**** when I didn't have to. It's a waste of time & energy & I refused to put up with the immature BS that I noticed my friends were constantly dealing with. Some teenage girls may feel the same way about older guys vs guys around their age.
We all say that it's normal for kids to fumble & learn things at the same rate in the same age group. For some people maybe, but I disagree. Most of us think it's normal for a girl/guy to have her first time with a somebody else who doesn't know what their doing, doesn't last long, doesn't know how to be comfortable or make their partner comfortable, isn't well educated on how to be responsible about it & at the same time make it pleasurable & satisfying, & just plain worried about conquering their goals...not really thinking about the needs of their partner. Because my first time was with someone much older(me being 13-14 & my babysitter being around 19-20 at the time), I'm proud to say that my first time wasn't like any of that & I have a lot to show for it today. A good sex life is important to me. I have always had a great sex life & never had or heard any complaints, thanks to my much older babysitter from back in the day.

Hey forcegx7,

Glad to hear the children are happy, because all children deserve to be happy.

Yet, Mark Kay still preyed upon their father when He was a young boy and this doesn't mitigate those facts.

As far as young children, teenagers and even adults being told they were Victims by Society, I can only speak on my past experiences as a Voice for Abused Children and an Advocate and Mental Health Peer Counselor.

I counseled Men and Women, who had suffered from past childhood abuses and traumas stemming from molestations rapes, etc.

It came from babysitters, fathers, mothers, uncles and so on. They didn't feel like victims because of what society had told them, but due from the vile feelings invaded on their bodies and personal space.

Of course, everyones situation is different.

Some of these individuals had grew up with physical violence in their home, therefore they did not understand this was not normal, until they reached the ages of 26 to 28 years old and that was thru therapy.

Some individuals will grow up believing having Sexual Relations with children is normal, because this is what was in their home and upbringing.

This doesn't make it normal, adults shouldn't have Sexual Relations with children.

I wasn't quite clear what you meant by Women being perceived as Victims, and Women could use this to our advantage?

Years ago, people were called Victims, people now prefer to be called Survivors.

Many, don't even like to be called this.
Why, they say this is just keeping your head above water.
They, say they are living now.

I'm definitely going to keep a watch out for the rerun of Mary Kay on the The Larry King Show.

And, by the way I must ask you not to use expletives or curse words on the board, I know we can all get passionate, but...

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

I believe it is the same for men and women that want a "relationship" with a teen. And I do think there is a slight difference in the mentality of the adults that are sexual predators on several younger children and those that engage in a relationship with an older teen. I'm not saying it is better, nor that it is any less of a problem - but just that there is a difference in the thinking.

The flatout predator/ pedophile that seeks to defile any child generally seeks out younger children (not always, but usually). Or smaller - those they feel they have power over and cannot fight back.

The ones that engage in relationships are similar - they also seek to be with someone with less power; but because they fear of someone being in control of them not because they are seeking the high of the power itself. A couple made up of a younger teen is usually going to find the adult in control of the relationship with the teen just happy to be there. The adult may not take advantage of the situation by being classically abusive, but nevertheless is in control - and feels safer that way. These adults are afraid to engage in an adult relationship for fear of losing that control.

I wonder what happens with Mary Kay and her husband when he turns 30 and really starts to show some strength? Because there is nothing like having children and being a father to make a man grow up!

Very interesting post forcegx7 and very well written.You are right of course.

Thanks but I'm curious to know the reasons why you feel that I'm right? I'm just giving my perspective & opinions based on my experiences & observations. I do recognize that they are debatable.

Of course they are debatable - as everything is in life... But i think you are right because i share the same perspective (just me <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> )you expressed in your post on this issue.

Whoa, Michelle you said a mouthful.

It will certainly be interesting when Mary Kay's young husband enters his 30's.

When he wakes up one morning and realizes how she robbed him.

She robbed him like a thief in the night and raped him of his childhood.

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

Just checking because I have very strong opinions & sometimes I can come across like I think I'm right & everybody else is wrong. I just want to make sure that you all understand that that isn't the case.

And, Wow to forcegx7 & freespirit....

"Or, am I just simply missing the mark?"

From my interpretation of what I've read you all believe, that it can be a positive impact from adults having sexual relations with children, IF it is not by force?

Because, it can enhance a better adult sexual life for them in the future?

Was I right, by what I thought you had stated forcegx7 and what you had co-signed freespirit?

Because, having sex with 13 and 14 year old children/teens is against law and it's not anything I plan to promote on the board.

So, was I on the mark or off the mark I need to know.

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor