BellaOnline Forums News and Politics Crime What's really going on in Sex Offenders minds?

Hello dear patience,

Welcome, to the forum and I am so very happy you joined us.

Thank you, for your powerful and honest words of enlightenment.
You are one brave soul and I respect you.

Once again, welcome to the forum I look forward to your viewpoints and opinions, as we try to solve the hidden mysteries inside the sexual predators and offenders mind.

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

Hey forcegx7,

You know what really blew me away with the blond hair, blue eyed, Florida teacher,
but in the words of her attorney,"She's too pretty to go to prison."

His mother played an integral part of such a reduced sentenced. Mom didn't want him to testify, but to simply move on with his life.

I wonder if she would have felt like this if that would have been her daughter with a male married teacher. The depths of their sexual relationship was quite intense.

And, since Mom felt like this, then the State should have stepped up to the plate in Mom's lack thereof.

I have 2 grown sons, I have never thought it would have been okay for Mrs. Robinson to take their virginity or to teach them the ropes. It would have NEVER been okay. I would have seen her in a Court Of Law.

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

'THUMBS UP' to everything you have all said. I think it is sexist to punish men and ignore what some very sick women do. ALL 'grownups' have responsibility to children and a duty of care.

Just think , if that teenager had spoken up, I would not have had my life 'screwed up', and the scores of others who followed would not have either. Mind you, back in the early 1940's such things were never discussed. In fact, I wonder if people even KNEW about them then! It was a different era, and in many ways a more closely knitted one in society. There was a war on, and that was uppermost in people's minds. From 1942 up until 1944 Australians, especially those in the northern states,lived in fear of invasion by the Japanese, and we came dangerously close to it, and most certainly would have been invaded had it not been for the huge amount of American troops based in Queensland at that time, plus naval bases and bombardment groups as well as fighter groups.. So, people had other things to worry about and they trusted those who were their neighbours.

Children were 'seen and not heard'in those days, and even if my female abuser had told someone that it was a 'priest' NO ONE would have believed her. If I'd told my mother[and I was threatened with having my pet dog killed if I did]I feel sure she would not have believed me because she trusted this person and had a very high regard for 'men of the cloth' - whatever their religion.

So that generation of abused kids was silenced. Only now, many of us are talking about it, in a different kind of atmosphere where abuse in all its forms are being openly revealed and addressed.

Authorities are attempting to counsel abusers, but we are continually finding that they return to their ways and continue to abuse children. We have had several cases of that nature recently in Brisbane. These offenders seem helpless to 'reform' and cannot control the urge to re-offend. It is an obssession,- a compulsion, and I don't know how we stop it! {they are now talking about 'tagging' them with a special bracelet]

It is often discovered that the offenders were themselves abused. I don't understand why they would want to inflict on another child the misery that was inflicted on them, but some do! Who knows why?

The only answer I have is in this example that was told to me by a very wise counsellor. It goes like this:

"There were twin boys who were dreadfully abused in their early childhood. One was in prison for the same crimes, and the other was a social worker.

"The prisoner was asked why he had committed such terrible crimes. His reply was that he had suffered greatly as a child and that it had warped his mind and his spirit and that all he wanted to do was to express his anger and hurt in this way.

"The social worker was also asked why he had chosen to work so trielessly with disturbed youth, and devote his life to helping those in trouble. This was his reply:

"Well, you see, I had a terrible childhood and suffered untold pain and abuse. It almost destroyed me. So, I decided that I would devote my life to helping others who are suffering so that they will not be destroyed by it, and will know that someone cares."

I think that says it all! The difference is in the way you look at it, and how you choose to live your life, - for yourself, or for others.

What do you reckon?

Hey patience,

Thanks for your input, Whoa the 40's, the days of children being seen and not heard I remember those days.

I was born in 1958, and in the african american community you did not speak, unless you were spoken too. And, you best not flinch an eye. The famous words, "Chil'en don't get in grown folks business."

No One Told Me, not to let or that it wasn't okay IF a grown person, a cousin, an uncle, or a neighbor like Mr. so and so, or a teacher or a Pastor touched me in a wrong place or wrong spot.

The end result? You're a wise woman you can it figure out.

Therefore, by the time my boys were 6 years I told them about the touching in the wrong spots.
IF, anyone touches and fondles you in the wrong spots Including MYSELF you must tell someone, because it's wrong.

Their question, even you Ma? Even me, because Ma would be sick if I did that.
I need help and you've got to tell someoneone, I won't be mad.

I explained the difference to my little men and so did their father.
**************************************************************************

WHAT DO I RECKON ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES YOU SPOKE ON?

It normally works like this.
Some peoples spirits are so badly broken they spend their lives destroying others.

Then, some people were so badly abused and tortured, they dedicate their lives trying to heal and make whole, to restore the injustices, that was done wrong to others.

Isn't it amazing what the beauty of some people's beast can to do them?

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

Patience you described it so well when you were telling the story about the twin boys... Its all about choices isint it.If someone has had a bad childhood they can let it consume then or they can turn it around into something positive.

I get sick and tired of hearing of court cases where the offender cries"oh but my childhood was bad" " I was abused" bla bla bla....

I do not believe a sex offender can be reformed - I believe they are sick in the mind and the kindest thing they could do for a start is to chemically castrate them.

freespirit!

You got me in here screaming with laughter! <img src="/images/graemlins/rolling.gif" alt="" />
I agree, so you were abused as a child--blah...blah..blah!

For the life of me, I cannot UNDERSTAND or even begin to fathom how someone can abuse their child? Especially, if they had been abused by their parents, knowing how painful that was.

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

What a sparkling insightful remark.....

HI Vicki - I will also never understand how someone can abuse a child after themselves being a victim.It is no exuse and infact I think it makes them even more guilty.

alexandra yes I agree it was a very insightful remark indeed.It made me really sit up and think.

Thank you Vicki and Freespirit.

What you have said, Vicki, is so true. I think the 50's were very like the 40's. It took a long time for society to accept that some adults do terrible things to little kids.

In Australia, we have had HUGE revelations of abuse in places of care, and in general. Victims of abuse are literally 'coming out of the woodwork' after scores of years of silence, and perpetrators are being identified, many of them in their 70's and 80's now, and STILL offending!

Children are being taught at home, and in schools, about the dangers. It used to be 'stranger danger' but now it is recognised that most abuse occurs in the home environment, and with people that the children know and trust.

You are so wise to have spoken so openly to your boys. That is responsible parenting. I do hope that others are doing this also, but I know of some people who are of the opinion that children shouldn't be given such disturbing information! They prefer to bury their heads in the sand, and I fear for their children.

I was attending a rally in our King George Square a few years ago which was called 'white balloon day'. Sexual abuse survivors [adults] were handing out information to passers by, and giving them a balloon which was a symbol of the purity and innocence of the child.

One woman came up and was very enthusiastic to make a donation and to participate UNTIL she found out it was not 'physical' abuse but SEXUAL abuse which we were talking about. I'll never understand why, but she gave back her balloon, took back her donation, and stomped off saying that she would not support 'those dirty minded little liars'.

I think every one of us had tears in our eyes.

Ignorance is NOT bliss!!!

Something might have touched a raw nerve.....

The word 'denial' springs to mind.....