BellaOnline Forums Family Siblings 'Step-siblings" Romantically Involved - Your say

First, I want to admit that I feel a little weird being a guy on an obviously predominately girl site and, like a few people I've seen, found this topic and made an account just to respond to it. So, here's my story. And it's a long one with a lot to it. I come from a divorced family and have lived with my dad pretty much all my life. My parents have always lived 3-4 hours apart, so I haven't gone to my mom's much. They are both remarried now, giving me a step-brother and sister on my dad's side and a step-brother and two step-sisters on my mom's. My mom has been remarried for eight years and honestly from the moment I met the younger step-sister I liked her. I guess I would have been 12 and she would have been 10, so this was back when I still thought girls had cooties, so I never thought much of it. However, 5 years ago we kissed. At the time, it was amazing, but I realized what exactly happened later and realized how wrong it could be considered to the rest of the world and decided to try and keep it from happening again. Since then, I've been going to my mom's about for a week about twice a year and only seeing her for a weekend of that time since her mom has custody of her, but they live in the same town. It shouldn't have been hard to avoid. About two years later, I had a girlfriend. I had told her about what happened between me and my step-sister. I felt obligated to because she had told me about how her step-brother had abused her. I told her it wouldn't happen again, and while she believed me, she obviously still had doubts. It turns out, she was right to. I ended up cheating on her. Only kissing still, but cheating none the less. However, she seemed to forgive me and we were still very happy together, but I still can't help but wonder if that's part of why she ended up breaking up with me. After that, I started looking for anyone to put blame on, including my step-sister. When I went down to my mom's the next time, I wouldn't even look at her, and I know that hurt her. By this point, she had expressed her feelings for me, but I was still resistant. Half a year later, when I went down again, I had another girlfriend, but I realize now I wasn't happy with her, despite moving out of my dad's and into her mom's. This time, there was no resistance. This time, I went to my step-sister and apologized for the way I acted before and we ended up kissing again. This time, I resolved to try and break up with my current girlfriend, move down there, and give our relationship a chance. However, trouble came. Guilt set in when I got back home (which was with my girlfriend, remember) and basically, even though I never told her, I felt the need to make up for it. Well, sex ended up being my answer to that, and then I heard what most guys hate to hear. She ended up pregnant. I, however, was excited at first. I love kids and, honestly, wanted a baby. I stopped talking to my step-sister for a while again to try and focus on the baby. I wanted to be around for the pregnancy, but the baby's grandma started making things hard and I ended up moving back with my dad, which only made things worse. Since then, I've hardly seen the baby's mother, although it's still mostly the grandma that's coming between us. That's basically a relationship I've given up on. I still wanted to be around for the baby, but I realize now I'm never going to have a good relationship with him. That situation is resolving itself, so it's not the topic of discussion and I'd rather not talk about it. Anyway, I've been at my mom's more this year, once for a festival and another, my sister's wedding. (My only, older, whole sister who lived with my mom.) Since then, I'd given up fighting my feelings for my step-sister entirely. We'd been talking a lot and pretty much had a long-distance love relationship and one time I went down recently, things went a just little further than just kissing. I told my mom, who was approving, and she told a couple friends of her's, who were approving as well. And I am moving down there soon, for a lot of reasons, though. More trouble came when she started to tell her brother and sister, also steps to me. They started to make fun of her and call it incest. She's very close to them, so she took it really bad and started questioning it all. So, I'm actually down here now and she even has a boyfriend, which I have yet to meet, but my feelings are the same as they've always been. I've been around her, but she avoids looking me in the eye and I can't help but thinks it's because she's afraid of how she feels about me now. Every time I caught her eye before, she'd get embarrassed, blush, smile, and look away. I'm 20 now, and she's 18, and yes, I realize that's young. That's why I tried to point out my past. One happy 2-year relationship and another short unhappy one that ended with a pregnancy. I know to take things slow and careful now and that there are still things to sort out, but I can't help but think until her and I try and I have that proof, that closer you could say, there's always going to be that chance that I'll just cheat again and I don't want to do that anymore.

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KK82,

I know this has been months since your post so I don't know how things are going b/w you 2 but I would definitely tell your parents if you want to continue to take the relationship forward. The longer you string it out the harder it will be to tell them. And I'm sure they aren't naive to the fact that there could be something (that is unless they hardly see the both of you). But that is just my opinion b/c I know it was harder to talk to my mom about the situation even though she was fine w/ it (and knew something was up).

Ok I found this looking up Step-Siblings in love.. to see how "normal" or un-normal it is.. Here's my story, I met the love of my life at almost 14 years old. I was living with my dad at the time, and had been for about two years. My mom who has seizures and was a recovering alcoholic was straightening herself out was getting married to a man who had two sons. David almost 20, and Anthony just turned 18. Well at first I was overblown by the idea my mom was marrying again and in a very short time. When I first met my soon to be stepdad, we went to their house and there was David sitting in a recliner smiling at me... and his friend who I thought was Anthony at the time was sitting on the couch. Anyway.. well after meeting and I started talking to David he was very shy at first but me being so open and outgoing I kind of open his shell a little bit and I mean we stayed up talking to like four in the morning. We hit it off very well. Well before our parents even married I had been visiting on weekends, we was flirting which I kept telling myself this is odd he's so much older and he is about to be my step-brother. Well later on he took me to help him move stuff cause they was all moving stuff to my moms house. Anyway.. while we was over there we was flirting and some how I pulled him to me and kissed him.. This was just a peck on the lips. Well after it was over he pulled back and said well that was unexpected.. We liked each other no doubt. Well after that we ended up really close things got physical behind closed doors when no one was around we kept it secret. Few months later I moved back in with my mom. I really moved back in with her because I hated feeling like I was in prison with my dad and step-mom. I was pretty much the maid in their house with all my other half siblings over there. But David was a plus haha. Anyway we kept pursuing our relationship, in secret. We didn't know what our parents would say me being under aged and well the fact that we are step-siblings. It was very hard, It also put strain in our relationship. Later on it became obvious to our parents we were so close. We still kept in denial and even broke up and got back together a lot. I dated other people my age.. and he tried to date other people as well. Which caused jealousy with both of us. Well about 3 1/2 years pass our parents are fighting and on the road to divorce. David had moved out with his friend Roger and moved back in. Well my mom and his dad ended up divorcing. David left and with my mom with a restraining order on my step-dad I wasn't allowed to see David so we kind of broke up. Months and Months pass, I was dating someone else... I seen David with another girl my age and the thought made me angry and jealous which is bad considering I was with another guy as well I don't know this girl always felt like competition for me I guess cause they had always been friends sort of... But they wasn't dating anyway I would try to call him but couldn't speak. By this time I'm 16 years old.. and since my mom was having her issues again I moved in with my grandma. Well eventually he knew it was me and would ask me to talk to him please? Well I talked and we told each other we missed each other even just as friends.. and I asked my grandma if I could see him she allowed it. We were back again but just as friends being that I was with someone else. Well months later passes and my bf and I broke up. So then later David asks me out and after that we was official. Our family knew about it and was fine with it. Six months later I became pregnant, at this time I am almost 18 and a Jr. in high school it was scary, but David took full on responsibility and I couldn't have asked for a better man to be the father of my child. Well 8 months after my son was born we got married. At first our marriage was rough and well we had tough times where we even separated. But I think all marriages can have their struggles we now been married for almost four years as of this May and we love each other now more than ever. We have two kids and are living happily. I think sometimes this can be a happy ending and I wish all the other ones who are in this situation find happiness. Don't be afraid to try even tho the whole step-sibling thing can be a burden I dont even tell new people I meet that he once was my stepbrother. The only time this ever even comes up is when people ask us how we met... Which can seem awkward.. But I guess I better own and accept it!!!!!

I really like your story acupit5. I've been on this forum for years and its interesting to hear the different stories and I'm glad that yours has such a great ending (not really ending b/c you continue your lives together). My husband and I have been married for a couple of years and are expecting. It's exciting and I wish the best for all the couples who have similar stories as ours. It's nice to feel like youre not the only ones out there going through this and that it's not as big of a deal as other people make it out to be

I'm pretty sure that British law has detail in it so as to prohibit marriages between people who have lived 'as siblings' or as 'parent and child'. The prohibition stands even if there is no biological link or marriages confirming the relationship, the two people simply have to have lived in roles in which marriage would be prohibited were those roles actually genetic in nature (eg. siblings, parent and child).

I don't know if this is true of other countries? In Britain also you can only marry someone who has at some point being your father-in-law or mother-in-law (also of course daughter-in-law or son-in-law) once both other interested parties are deceased. So I could only marry my current father-in-law once both my husband and my mother-in-law were deceased. Only when you come to apply to get married do you find out just how descriptive the law is :-D