BellaOnline Forums Family Siblings 'Step-siblings" Romantically Involved - Your say

I am another who is glad to hear that I am not the only person dealing with this situation because I have been beating myself up about it for 4 years now. My mom married for the 3rd time 8 years ago. He has 3 kids, 2 boys, 1 girl. I was 25 when they married and was married myself. Her husbands kids all lived out of the house as well, they were 18, 25 and 21. When I was going thru my divorce, I spent a lot of time at my mom's house for support. Her husbands youngest son, had just turned 22 and him and his roommate hung out with his dad at their house often, we all began going out at times and hanging out. Well an effection began to grow between me and the son and we became involved. We hid it for about 6 months then our parents found out about it. They were a little shocked but not mad. It just took some getting used to. We dated for 4 years including lived together but broke up last Aug. Within the last month we have worked on trying to make it better again between us. I always said that if he wasn't my stepbrother I would have hit the jack pot. He's sweet, generous, loving, sensitive, responsible, funny. He is all of the things I wanted. But I have been fighting with myself about if it was morally wrong or not. I have a 10 year old daughter who loves him to death but I was always afraid that she would be made fun of like we have been in the past. I love him dearly and want to make it work but need to get over the fear of what other people think. He does not have that fear at all. He said he loves me and does not care what others say. We are not doing anything wrong! I wish I had the same attitude. It is nice to hear people say it is ok though and learn that it is not as rare or taboo as I thought. Thanks for all your stories, it helps me feel more confident in my decission.

I completely understand how you feel DaniO. You definitely don't want to feel like an outcast but if your friends and family are supportive then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks b/c they aren't living your life. I keep reminding myself of that everyday. Especially since me and him have been dating for quite some time. I am extremely happy with him and for those people that don't know the "whole" story about us then I don't tell them b/c it's a very minute part of us. Those that do know, if they are my friends they won't care about it.
I have had a couple of guys say some terribly mean things about our relationship that has stuck w/ me. Being a strong Christian I have tried my hardest to forgive them but their words are always w/ me. But to be honest I think the only reason they said what they did was because they were arguing w/ my friends (their girlfriends) and they said anything they could to make them mad even if it was to my expense. Makes you realize that some people out there are just cruel and you are always going to find a bad apple in the bunch but you shouldn't let that stop you from being with the one that you love.
I have also been talking a lot w/ my mom about it (who is highly opinionated) and she told me that if she ever felt that it was morally, ethically or even spiritually wrong she would be against it. In fact she wants us to get married b/c we have been together for so long.
Well I hope my rambling helps a little and would love to hear more stories!

Things are actually going well with us. He is moving in soon. I think I have finally gotten to the point that I can say - "I don't care what anyone else thinks. I am happy" You are right, it is such a SMALL part of what we have. Our relationship is so good any more that it really does not matter. Anyone see "Because I said so" It ends with this same situtation. It wasn't weird in the movie!!! =}

Hollywood has kind of dealt with the whole "stepsibling romance/relationship" on 1 level or another

I haven't seen "Because I said so" yet but others come to mind are:

Drives Me Crazy
Clueless
The Royal Tenebaums
Lovers of an Artic Circle

The first 2 were romantic comedies and didn't portray the relationship as weird either...and rightfully so
The other 2 conveyed the message that there shouldn't be anything weird about it or if you impose it as a taboo label on it, that is what causes the relationship to be tragic and not the relationship itself. And that is what I strongly believe...
haven't you all noticed yet?

If there's anymore movies that deal with "stepsibling" romance/relationship that I missing or unaware of, please share what they are.

Thanks!

Another movie that had the same type of relationship was,
Lone Star State of Mind

I am so happy I found this forum! I was looking stuff up on google and I found this site. I thought there was no one out there with my situation! It turns out a lot of people are going through the same thing!

Well I guess I have to say my story now..Me and him met before, we had the same friends. We never really talked..then my dad started dating his mom. We started hanging out a lot and we became really good friends. We lived under the same roof, I moved in and out and so did he. They eventually got married and we were totally against it and he married her for all the wrong reasons. They were really mean to me and him and just caused a lot of drama and we were even doing anything yet and they still havent found out. I knew he liked me and he knew I liked him that was going on for about 2 and a half years, and we never really said anything until about 6 months ago, we were laying down in his bed and we told each other we've loved each other ever since we've layed eyes on each other. So we decided to give it a try and it's been good and I'm really happy. His grandparents really like me and I think they kind of know whats going on.

Only thing is, keeping that secret..but alot of our close friends know, so it makes it a lot easier. As far as each others families they dont know..we suspect his grandparents do but I think they're fine with it. I've fought with my dad the whole time they were together, my dad was a good dad but i dont think so anymore. So I lost that do to his marriage, she really messed a lot of stuff up and ruined a lot of peoples lives. She loves drama and she loves to make a big deal out of nothing wich caused a lot of hard times. Me and him went through basically all of that together so I guess you could say we owe it to be together.

We're currently not living together, but were supposed to be moving out together by the end of august. I guess my advice is hold on, even through the tough times because together you two can make it. Sometimes you have to choose each other of your family, some people arent willing to do that. If they're wrong and they know it, then you shouldn't have to give that person up.

I gone through more things with him then I have on my own and I guess that's why we're so close. We understand each other, we love each other, we have the same views, it's like I met the other me. I think with other people situations, you're supposed to meet that person, unfortunately you met them in a difficult situation, but you can still make it work.

"We understand each other, we love each other, we have the same views, it's like I met the other me. I think with other people situations, you're supposed to meet that person, unfortunately you met them in a difficult situation, but you can still make it work."

I completely agree BetterDays. I believe that if you have found your soul mate even through a difficult situation as w/ yourself, mine and many others to stay strong and not listen to those that bring you down because what matters the most is you and your significant other

You know it just seems to be getting more and more difficult for somebody to find that apecial somebody in their lives.
So, so what if you find that under these types of circumstances!
People just need to live and let love live.

The fact that this thread has received as many views as it has so far compared to most of the other threads in this category can probably attest to the fact that there are many more people than we think having a relationship or considering to have a relationship with their "stepsibling."
As you read throughout this whole thread, we have had some newcomers who found this by searching online for help, advice , and feedback regarding this situation. I'm hoping that the existence of this thread has help all of you, and will continue to do so.

I'm very excited to say that I am finally engaged! We have been together for 7 years and I have the support of my family, his family and our friends. I'm lucky to have found my soulmate. Things definitely happen for a reason when you meet someone even if it is through an unconventional way