BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Am I the only one teaching "sir" & "ma'am"

I personally don't like being ma'am-ed. It sounds so stodgy and not like me. I'd rather all pronouns were Sir, like on how Star Trek all officers are Sir, whether male or female.

I also use Ms. on correspondence when I have to, not Mrs.

Actually i just prefer to be called by my first name and be done with it.

I think maybe my attitude is a little casual but that certainly describes me well.

Just a thought here, but calling someone "sir" is nothing but a surface piece of respect. Real respect for your children would have been to respect the differences you and your ex-husband had and to provide a two-parent home for your children. How can you teach your children respect when their parents gave up on the family unit and now your children cannot say goodnight to both their mom and dad at the same time? Having a weekend dad will affect them a lot more than learning to call someone "sir." Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees. In this case, etiquette would be putting your children's needs first --above you and your ex-husband's desire not to be a couple anymore.

On the subject of etiquette, what is etiquette? I think that making someone feel comfortable is much more important than following a rule of calling every man "sir."

Here's a great example. At a formal dinner at Buckingham Palace, one of the guests had no idea how a finger bowl is used. (It's used to dip the fingers in to wash them after a meal) So, the guest picked up the bowl and began to drink from it! Rather than make the man look foolish, Queen Elizabeth did exactly the same thing. Technically, she was wrong for how she used the bowl, but she was the epitome of a lady with etiquette by putting her guest's comfort above etiquette rules.

In my opinion, addressing people how THEY want to be addressed is much more important than dogmatically calling everyone "sir" or "ma'am."

If a woman wants to be addressed as Miss, call her Miss.
If a woman wants to be addressed as Mrs, call her Mrs.
If a woman wants to be addressed as Ms, call her Ms.
If a woman wants to be addressed as Ma'am, call her Ma'am.

True etiquette is making the other person feel at ease, not calling her "ma'am" because you think that's how she should be addressed.

Beyond that, I would think it rather difficult to insult anyone with the appropriate "please" and "thank you."

"Stodgy" - that's a good description. I was watching an old episode of "Scrubs" the other day and JD was upset because a salesclerk had referred to him as "sir"...he kept saying, "but I'm so young..."

When I correspond with a client for the first time I usually refer to them as "Ms." (never "Mrs.") or "Mr." until I get to know them and get an idea of what they prefer. But when I leave telephone messages I just refer to myself by my first name, "This is Sofie from Attorney Blankety-Blank's office..." Of course, that wouldn't work if my name was Jennifer or something - we've got 6 or 8 of those.