BellaOnline Forums Family Moms need advice from other moms

My 3 1/2 year old son has recently started to have bad dreams and waking up at night. He says he doesn't want us to leave him. He gets upset if one of us leaves to go to the store or work. I just put him down for a nap and he made me promise not to leave. Is this normal and how do I handle it? I have never left him anywhere by himself. I have not left him with even family lately, so I don't know what is going on. He also asks about where his sister is all the time if he doesn't see her. Help.

This is called night terriers. Has your family had a drastic upset recently? Deaths in the family, maybe your son witness something on tv that has terrified him. The best thing you can do is insure him that you are in the next room and that he is just having a bad dream. My son who is 11 has night terriers constantly and for the last few years has slept with his bedroom door open but this is do to a death in our family and a break in.

My daughter started with night terrors when she was only 8 months old. Night terrors aren't necessarily caused by a traumatic incident that has occured. In my case, it runs in my family. Night terrors are completely different than a nightmare. You should discuss the situation with your family doctor. In my daughters case she needed to be put on medication.

Thanks for the advice. He is doing better lately. We moved about 6 months ago, so I thought maybe that was it. He had a bad night last week and remembered the dream. We talked about it and he seems to be better.

Night terriers? I must have been tired when I typed that lol. OMG rofl.Judith that could be it , a move will do it. So sorry for my typoes.

Night terriers= Night dogs ? ROFL.

Don't I look a fool.

You know what helped my now 6 yr old? I read this tip a long time ago - get a spray bottle and fill it with water and a bit of lemon and squirt it every night to keep bad dreams away. It calmed her down enough to get her to sleep.

My oldest "turns the channel" on her pillow when she has a bad dream, she flips her pillow over.

Maybe that'll help??

Meg

Judith
What you describe is 2 seperate issues and not necessarily connected to each other. It's all part of normal development.
He is becoming aware of the world around him hense the origon of the dreams/nightmares. Leave a night light on, and when he wakes crying etc give a cuddle and reassurence.
Re- the clingy phase - its nothing you've done. Some children are more clingy than others. Management requires patience and sensitivity. Start reassurences in small steps eg "Mommy's going into the kitchen /bathroom and will be right back" Always tell him where you are going and when you will be back, and always truthful.
Example - Give a time- point to the clock- "when the big/hand is on ?? I will be right back" This also teaches him to read time/clock.
Habits are formed at this age and if he learns he can control your movements you may have trouble later on.
Toddlers whole existence is centred around parents / bonded carers, and trying to make sense of the world around him with realities of daily living is difficult at this age. Gaining his TRUST is the key to his feeling secure.

I will try some of these ideas. Thanks.