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#24215 01/02/05 06:15 PM
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Julia Offline OP
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Hello. I just joined this community and have been reading continuously, I would like to say hello and ask your advice and opinions on my situation....

Here's my story. The minute my son started 4th grade, major troubles begin for him in school, there is a bully, who try desperately to ruin his life, he try to make him become afraid, worried, and disgusted of school, tease him, harass him, and calling him awful names, It is a terrible humiliating experience for my son, especially since he is the one who's self esteem is low, that we start to consider homeschooling my son. I have my sister that told me about some tactic in this website http://www.themagicideasworld.com/Bullies.htm that she had used with phenomenal results, but I am so confused about the current situation that I am not knowing really what to do.
So hare is my question, What do you think Is bullying enough of a reason to consider homeschool my son?

I would appreciate Your thoughts and your Experience
Thanks in advance
Julia

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Shark
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julia, hi and welcome. im 22 and went thru the same thing ur son is going thru. did u try 2 talk 2 his school counselors or principal? itll be hard 2 get some thing done but dont give up. id try 2 find sumthin ur son is really good at, and have him try to achieve/accomplish at it. i still have low self esteem. could u try 2 explain ur son a lil more? and this bully?

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Julia,

I think that you are the parent and you know what is best for your son. Bullying can leave a lasting impression on children and us moms too. You left out some info tho that might help you garner better advice...
1. Have you talked to the school about the problem?
2. Have you talked to the other childs parents about this bullying?
3. Have you made the principal aware of the bullying?

See, I think it is the school's responsiblitiy to make the classroom and everywhere else on a school campus including the bus, a safe place for all kids. If one child is not safe there, then the school needs to correct the problem. If you take your child out of the school which I think you have the right to do, this other child will still continue to bully other kids. He would just find a new target.

This same kind of thing happened to us last year. The difference was that the kid doing the bullying was the principals son and I concluded, after talking to the parents, that my son was NOT going to be safe there so I transfered him to a new school. He instantly made new friends and was happy there. In our situation, it was the kid modeling the behavior of the parents...it was so sad. But in the long run, our son is MUCH happier and doing better in school because of it.

So the decision is yours...homeschooling can be wonderful for kids. But don't forget to call attention to the problem at the school to the school officials. It's their responsibity to make school a safe place for all kids...yours included.

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Quote:
Originally posted by Julia:
[qb] Hello. I just joined this community and have been reading continuously, I would like to say hello and ask your advice and opinions on my situation....

Here's my story. The minute my son started 4th grade, major troubles begin for him in school, there is a bully, who try desperately to ruin his life, he try to make him become afraid, worried, and disgusted of school, tease him, harass him, and calling him awful names, It is a terrible humiliating experience for my son, especially since he is the one who's self esteem is low, that we start to consider homeschooling my son. I have my sister that told me about some tactic in this website http://www.themagicideasworld.com/Bullies.htm that she had used with phenomenal results, but I am so confused about the current situation that I am not knowing really what to do.
So hare is my question, What do you think Is bullying enough of a reason to consider homeschool my son?

I would appreciate Your thoughts and your Experience
Thanks in advance
Julia [/qb]
Hi Julia, My name is Kelli and I am a "newbie" to the forum as well.

I can't respond to your bully issue, but I can come to you as a homeschooling Mom of fifteen years.
The reasoning behind our choice to homeschool was our extreme dislike over the public school system, peer pressure, and safety issues.

I'm sorry to hear of the bullying issues with your child. But, homeschooling is a great option if you are a stay at home Mom. At times, I've found it to be tough going, but nonetheless, we feel that it is a better choice.

Best of luck on your choices. If you require any assistance in researching homeschooling, let me know.

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Julia,
The thing that I'd most be concerned with is that he must learn how to deal with social issues. He will need to fit into society and one day be able to survive as a secure adult. I think rather than homeschooling, you should work to find a solution, so that he can learn to find solutions for his problems...rather than hiding. Sorry, please don't think I'm being mean. I just think that should something happen to you or Dad, you'd want a secure person left in the world and one that could review all options to problems. Good luck!

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Shark
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how r things coming along withm ur son now?

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Jellyfish
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I am with boyzmom , I think that by home schooling that you are not letting him face the fears of this bully.

I am almost 36 years old and I have dealt with bullies all my life. There will always be bullies. Those little ones in school that steal your lunch money and pick on you turn out to be adult bullies.

Without your son facing this now at an early age how will he face adult hood? My daughter has been bullied alot in school because she is an IEP student and she has never backed down from this bullying.

I think you need to teach your son that though he is being bullied that the one bullying might have some issues, home issues etc and teach him how he needs to handle it.

Remember the rhythme sticks and stones. We tell our children on a constant bases names are only names.Aslong as your child knows that they are not true.

Kids can be mean and harsh just as adults can be. However it is something we must face at any age.

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Chipmunk
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well, i'm a homeschooler and the homeschoolgin host here at Bella. if you continue considering it, drop me a line and I'll be happy to put you in touch with locals who can help!

homeschooling@bellaonline.com

Meg


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Gecko
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For my family the best thing to do was switch schools.

When my son came under attack from a couple of bullies at school, my husband and I tried to work it out with the parents only to realize we were dealing now with adult bullies who also had it out for our son and us. (The apple didn't fall far from the tree) So we decided rather than risk his reputation going into highschool, we would send him to another school where he could make new friends rather than continue to battle this for the next four years.

My son was in 8th grade when this happened. He had NEVER had any problems with ANY other kds until then. We think it was because he beat out another kid for a starting spot on the football team.

Looking back now (we have moved out of state by now) switching him and saving his self esteem was the best thing we could have done. For us, it was a great way to say to our child that he wasn't at fault for the other kids behavior and that when someone treats him unfairly (really unfairly, instead of just percieved unfairness), there is no need to continue to give that behavior any attention. Youc an just walk away and say whatever, you don't have to fight everything. I remember telling my son "it doesn't matter what they think it's about what you think in this situation. You didn't do anything to provoke them to be mean to you, they reacted this way out of jealousy. The best thing to do is just walk away."

I've noticed a change in him since then. He dosn't seem AS concerned with what other kids (or adults) for tat matter think of him. He continues to work hard in school and on the football field for HIMSELF. I'm very proud of him.

I hope this helps you make your decision. And remember, this is YOUR child,. Don't let anyone cast their own judgements on what you decide to do.


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