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Joined: Feb 2006
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Lynn_B Offline OP
Koala
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Koala
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Parenting advice from the non-parent. Always so appropriate. If you don't like being in mixed company (that is, children being children side-by-side with adults), freespirit, try a commune--or the CF forum. Otherwise deal with it, just as we moms (after all, that is the target audience for this particular forum--MOMS) have to deal with persons who truly have no concept of parenting.

We thank you for choosing not to have children.

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Chimpanzee
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WOW! This one is almost as heated as the ones texasdave kept riled up! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

FreeSpirit, just wanted to say thankyou for your kind words. And I wasn't trying only to gain sympathy (although lately I am feeling pretty sorry for myself) - but to show that it is not always possible to tell what is going on in the mind of a child and/or parent when a meltdown occurs. For the majority of us Moms that have been in the 3 yr old - tantrum in the grocery aisle, stage - it is embarassing, and we would love to take a gag or piece of tape and just make our child be quiet so everyone would stop staring.

Unfortunately we can't do that. (And I really wouldn't, but I do sometimes wonder, and my husband is convinced he should invent children's chewable valium!)

There are good and bad kids everywhere. Sometimes you will see an amazing child come out of the foster system, and wonder how it was ever accomplished. Other times you watch the child whose parents truly love him go deeper into gangs and drugs, no matter how many interventions are done. These things happen.

But I do believe that we as parents have a responsibility while our children are still little and impressionable to teach them to treat others the way they would want to be treated. Courtesy basically boils down to that. Even if one is not a Christian, one can grasp the basic tenet - even small children. Teaching synpathy and empathy are possibly two of our greatest gifts we can give to our children. And will not only help them in day to day life; but if everyone did this, could make a difference in the world one day.

Big dreams, I know; but then Dr. King had some dreams, too, and some of them have come to pass.


Michelle Taylor
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Lynn_B Offline OP
Koala
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Koala
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Quote:
Teaching synpathy and empathy are possibly two of our greatest gifts we can give to our children.


So very true, Michelle. And some adults, obviously, missed this lesson growing up.

Apologies to the MOMS, my patience wears thin and my tolerance low.

I know this isn't my zoo to keep. But as Michelle has mentioned in previous posts here, some non-moms who shall remain nameless have a nasty habit of pretending to pat moms on the head for their good work while spitting on them all in the same breath. If they want to do that, fine--but not on a forum for MOMS.

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Chipmunk
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I was having trouble posting here before as I had a message come up that said I had "reading priviliges only...seems I can post now.I dont know what happened.

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Lynn_B Offline OP
Koala
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Too, bad Freespirit. I fully support your choice to not have children. Thank you.

However, for continuous and unjustified mom-bashing--however much you "really don't mean to"--and derogatory references to moms, you've made my ignore list.

Enjoy!

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Chipmunk
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Oh please dont accuse me of praising mothers and not meaning it...I mean everyword of it.You dont know me at all and you dont know what I am about.I meant EVERY WORD of what I said.

I dont know what I have said that is so bad.If anything you are the one who has been nasty and condecending to me...

Your statement "we thank you for not having children" How childish and spiteful can one be?

I was never dishing out advice to you on how to raise children as I as a non mother do not have that right but I thought I was just talking common sense.Please dont tell me I have "no idea" of what it is to raise children.I have plenty of childed friends,I have nices and nephews...I constantley hear how hard child raising is and I believe it is.

I should not sink down to your level but I just cant resist..... "I just want to thank you for having children because they can look after me in my old age...

I will pay for it out of my hard earned money and from all the money I saved by not having children but in the mean time I will keep subsidising your children through my taxes....But that I do not mind as ivesting in childrens education is to me very important as every child deserves a chance.

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Chipmunk
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You can all re- read all of my posts concerning this issue and not once have I ever mum bashed anyone.

I dont know how many times I have to say I respect all you good parents out there.You do a bloody good job and as a reward you are sending into the world well adjusted adults and you can be proud of them.

Michelle do I really come across like texas dave??? I am shocked and saddened if this is the case as I swear this was not my intention. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Lyn accuses me of being an un- geniuene person by saying I attack mums out there and then "pretend" to be nice to them.This is [censored] and I am really hurt by this as everything I say comes from my heart and I have said this so many bloody times but for those of you who do a good job raising your children and teach them right from wrong e.c.t I praise you - Ipraise you all and you have my full respect.I have said this on many occasions and I dont know whay she is so mean to me as I have done nothing to deserve it in my opinion. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

What has what I said upset her so much??? Now I have to wonder if I have hit a raw nerve...I must have or else she would not have taken what I said to heart.Hmmmm <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

When you explained about children that act up in public - like have tantrums e.c.t I know that is normal and it has happened to me on manyy occasions when I have been in charge of my nice and all I could do was pick her up and carry her out of the store untill she stopped.I was mortified <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />...She got punished big time though as she knows there are consequences to bad behaviour...

I was talking about kids acting up in public while "parents" do nothing and actually ignore their children. They dont even try to correct them - that annoys me sooo much!!!!The sad thing is alot of children do this (act up) to get attention from their parents...

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Chimpanzee
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NO, no no - I wasn't meaning YOU were acting like TD at all!

So sorry that came across that way! No I meant the debate was getting as heated up as some of the ones that TD was in (those ususally got to be quite interesting!)

I think the one thing that was said, that I know I took rather personally, was that on one board you came on and said how much you admired mother's for what they do - but then went to the CF board and it seemed like we were being made fun of - this was the thread titled Mom's Board That's what Lynn is talking about (I think) and what I referred to in my very first post on this thread.

However, since that first post, you and I have had the chance to come to know each other a little more. I respect you and your opinions. But for some reason we seem to have this antagonistic relationship with the MNK board. Anytime someone (Delongcrey I remember in particular) tries to keep peace on both boards, she is ostracized.

But even if you (you in the general broad sense)are not referring to us particular mom, the words "breeder" and such are still wuite hurtful - because some people do sling them at me when my autistic child gets out of hand. Or automatically assuming that Meg is being irresponsible because she has more than 2 or 3 kids. - If she is raising them well, then what difference does it make how many she has?

i'm starting to ranmble here, sorry - I took my nighttime meds. Y'all are lucky you are getting entire sentences instead of snhjdgubnblat! <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

i think I will leave off here for now, and continue in the morning when my brain is fresher. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

But FreeSpirit, I do apologize that I came off as comparing you to our dear TD, that I did not mean to do. <img src="/images/graemlins/heart.gif" alt="" />


Michelle Taylor
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Chipmunk
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No need for an appology from you michelle...


Cfers get deffensive alot because we are judged so much esspecially from people that supposadly care for us.My mother in law for example can not get over the fact that I wont give her grandchildren.I am sure she blames me....


Thankyou everyone for listening anyway.

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Zebra
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My father is definitely one of the 'old school'... typically British, married and had kids in the '50's, when dads didn't usually attend births, change nappies, or even know who their children were until they could string a sentence together...I'm exaggerating, but you get the picture...
if ever we went out for a meal together, as a family, and we heard a child complaining more loudly than normal (!) he would jokingly mutter under his breath 'drown it'! and we'd laugh, because we know he's kidding...
But I didn't realise quite how often he said this, until while I was out for a meal one day, with just my two girls, (the eldest was 10, the youngest, two) we sat in a restaurant, and heard a child begin to cry...instantly, my two-year-old piped up: 'Drown it!'...!!

My father never said it again.

Who said that "little pitchers have big jugs"? <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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