BellaOnline Forums Family Moms 3 yr old goes potty at pre-school, but not at home

Hi all! I've searched and searched the Internet, and am glad I found this site.

My husband and I are at our wits' end!

My 3 year old son has gone potty at home about 6 times in the last 6 months. He knows the whole procedure (alerts us, pulls his pants down, "goes", wipes (we finish the wiping), pulls his pants up, empties his potty into the toilet, flushes, washes his hands, wipes his hands, turns out the bathroom light) and does them all very well.

Our problem is that he "won't" do it at home on a consistent basis. When he was in daycare, he went all the time. And now, at pre-school he "goes to the bathroom" (it's no longer "potty" for him) also on a regular basis. But when we try to get him to go at home, he runs and gets the diapers and wipes and lies down, ready for his change.

When we try to get him to go at home, he screams and protests so much, and for so long. We've tried putting him in underwear, and he just goes in the underwear and keeps playing. We've tried putting him on the potty, but there's such turmoil and then I get nervous that we're trying to "force" him to do what he doesn't want to do. (Dont's slam me on that last remark - it's truly the ONLY thing I give in on, because I'm feeling almost like we're abusing him - that's how bad it is...).

Please help!!!

Thanks!!!

Hi,

I'm sorry to say that i really don't have an answer for you, but i wanted to say you aren't alone and 3 is still at a young enough age where you shouldn'd really worry yet. I have a daughter who trained herself by 2 1/2, and a son who has special needs, who is 7, and stays dry all day and then at night needs a pullup for bed wetting, but will also have a bowel movement in it if i dont wake up in time to catch it. Boys, i'm afraid tend to be later than girls. I really think my son just doesn't care, it doesn't bother him at all and he is 7!!! i do realize his special needs and delays factor into this, but it's hard because he can't sleep at a friends or relatives unless they are aware of this problem and it's somewhat embarrassing. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and hoping eventually he'll just grow out of it. keep trying!!

Hello -- I am new to this board -- but have to tell you --- I can relate 100%!!! My son just turned 2. Went to the pediatricians office for his checkup 2 weeks ago and that was the main point of discussion -- potty training. Our pediatrician recommended a book called "toilet training in less than a day" (authors Azrin & Foxx). Anyway -- I am at the same point as you -- 'don't want to push him' want this to be a learning/positive lesson. I just got the book today so haven't read it yet. (sorry to say). Anyway, most of my research has brought me to the conclusion that "potty training" may be more of a behaviorial issue. The screaming and kicking, hitting and biting -- I have been through all of this -- I was recommended a series of books by Ezzo that explain a lot about some other issues I have been dealing with. The series is "babywise and childwise". My son REFUSES to sleep in his own "big boy bed". I am 5 months pregnant and at times I feel I am out of control! These books have really helped my sanity and my husbands! Hope this info helps you as well <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> )