Hi, I have a 22 year old son at home showing no signs of EVER leaving the nest.. I wonder if there are any other parents out there with yound adult children at home and how they handle chores and if they charge rent, etc.
Windfleet

HI, I have 4 older children, and 4 younger ones at home. We always told our kids if you ever need to come home you can, the door is always open. They all know that and the 2 boys have come back then left again. My older girl did ask to come home if she couldn't work it out, so she could finish university. When they were going to college or University we told them they didn't have to pay anything, but if they are working full time, to give a little bit, and that can be just a token of what you agree on. I find they appreciate what they get so much more than if it is just handed to them.

Take Care Dawn

I do not have first hand experience in this situtation as both of my children are under 6, but my mom could give you a world of info.

One sister finally moved back out after her fifth time moving back in - with her daughter. And my oldest sister - in her late 30's has moved in, temporarily to get back on her feet, but getting back on her feet has taken months. So, although these situations may differ from the "why" your son is at home, there should still be the "responsibility" of bills given to your son. Once he is on his own, he won't be given the choice.

And, simple things, such as long distance calls, if any, should be a must. And maybe partials on other utilities, all which can be agreed upon if you want to go over these with him instead of deciding on your own. Remember, although he is your son, he is an adult, and you may want to give him a break but in the long run it will help.

My stepbrother moved back in with his family and when they didn't ask him for any money, he took it as an indication that he didn't have to really take care of himself, and sort of loafed around. On one hand you want your child to be happy, but on the other, every child has to turn into a self-sufficient adult at some point. And a parent isn't supposed to lose out on some of the pleasures on life because they're supporting their adult child for years and years ...

Well, I'm late posting to this <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Anyway, I'm speaking from personal experience (myself as the dumb kid) sometimes kids just don't get the picture of growing up. When I was 16 I graduated, my dad said as long as I was in school (and getting decent grades) I had a place to live. I goofed off, and dropped out a year later. So, my dad very nicely gave me a month to get out! (I'm not angry about this, actually I really appreciate it now) he did a lot for me, including paying the deposit for me to get my own place. he co-signed for me (not everyone should do this) and I never moved back. But it took him booting me out before I was thinking in terms of taking care of myself!

The father of my daughter (another long story) has yet to grow up. His mother let him move back in, then kicked him out when he wasn't paying child support.. or even spending visitation with her. Sometimes a parent has to get tough, if the child is just being a loafer.

On the other hand, my husband and I live in a very nice house. His parents live in the downstairs. We split the utilities, rent, and that's it. We each have a phone in our seperate areas of the house, and they buy their own groceries. It is literally like we are renting apartments side by side. This doesn't work for everyone, but I really think that when your kids are of an age to take care of themselves, they should! Even if they live at home, they should be paying a set amount of rent, if only to aclimatize them to the idea of not having the parents there to mooch off of. This needent be a great deal, just enough to get the point across.

Anyway, that's my personal opinion, but I'm sure that it will change when my kids reach their majority. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />