BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Creativity How grief and trauma affect our creativity

I think the creative process itself opens us up to emotions and sensitivities that we may not always feel. I know I started showing and sharing a lot more emotion - both happiness and sadness - when I started writing and painting. It was suddenly so much harder to bottle those feelings in than it used to be. I think that's a good thing.

One part of living is opening your heart to others. When those people leave us - either through the end of a relationship or death - it can be tough to move on, to try and heal the gap without sealing it completely to new experiences. Even the loss of a pet or a change in address can have a profound effect on us. And anything that affects our emotions is bound to affect our creativity. Some people have the ability to use what happens to them to create beautiful works of art or literature, and to heal through that process. Others are more likely to shut down for a while and deal with the pain internally.�

This week's article looks at some ideas for getting through this difficult period.

How have some of the more difficult experiences in your life affected your creative expression? Have you been able to use it in any way?

What timing Elle! I'm not going through the loss of someone, but our family is going through a major trauma right now; and it is almost impossible to think straight.

I keep heading to the computer with the intention of writing a story, I'll get started, and then realize that I've been staring at the screen for about ten minutes without doing anything. At first I thought that the writing would help take my mind off of it, but now I'm beginning to think I might need to face it head-on first. THEN try to distract myself.

And of course, thanks to the gastric bypass, my old way of coping- binging on chocolate and carbs, is definitely out! LOL <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I'm sorry that your family is going through tough times right now Michelle--I'll put you and your family in my prayers.

Last summer when my grandmother was beginning to leave us I began writing down everything that happened every day, a sort of journal ode to her, but after she died it was extrememly hard to write-- just like Michelle said. I knew that I would have to wait until I processed everything and it took a couple of months to begin writing again but I also picked up a new passion in the process--drawing and painting. Once I began thinking creatively again I was then able to use art as an added way to express my feeling, so it was good.

I'm sorry too Michelle. I hope you can all come through this stronger and with peace. I know you've taken big steps to start getting yourself healthier - keep focused on that, step by step. You are strong and capable.

It can help to let your mind wander and mull over your experience while your hands are doing something else to keep yourself feeling busy.

Instead of trying to write, how about just letting yourself doodle, or grab a paintbrush and just make abstract lines and blocks of colour. Make an "angry" painting if you wish. Another favourite of mine is sanding down an old table or the back fence and repainting it. There's something very soothing in a rhythmic motion like that. Even ironing can work!

I found these links this morning - Poet Gregory Orr describes his belief that the process of transcribing an experience into rhythmical words gives us control over its meaning. As a child, Orr was responsible for the accidental death of his brother.

And Isable Allende learnt from her dying daughter that what you could give others was your most important asset.

I have grieved in the past over several major traumas in my life...grief so heart-wrenching at times that I felt like I was in a never-ending black hole and couldn't breath. I turned to my poetry writing and journaling, along with Bible reading and prayer to get through. Those things saved me from the sadness in a way. I couldn't however, create my art during those times. Funny how one of my creative processes shut down but the other blossomed.

Sharon

Welcome Sharon. I'm glad your creativity was able to help you through the grieving process.

Thanks for the welcome Elle. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sharon

I used to write poetry. After my sweetheart left me, my poetry has also left me. I tried many times, but I can not write poetry any more.

I'm sorry to hear that cdmohatta. Unfortunately that's all too often the case with creativity. Have you tried a different art form? Something visual, like photography or drawing or a collage, can help to take your mind off it.

I am trying designs on the Internet. I guide my children design ecards, screensavers etc. Now they do lot of it on there own. I have a problem which I am not able to handle despite long medication. The sadness of my sepearation
overpowers me anytime and then I begin crying. thank you for asking. But my sons are doing good work and I am happy with the results.

When I was writing I was using a lot of my awful experiences from my home life to bullying to loneliness to everything else. I turned them into hope and happiness.

I've had my share of grief and trauma (as we all have).

Those times seem to make me bleed words. It's like the words pour from my soul. Someone sliced my heart open and the words just flow.

Over the last seven months I've been dealing with surgery complication issues my mom had - she now has dementia, is bed ridden, and needs 24 hour care. There are days I sit at my computer, know I need to work on stuff for my business (I'm self-employed, no one will do it for me LOL). But I just sit and stare, then give up and watch Netflix.

Sorry to hear that Deanna. My dad has Alzheimers, but can thankfully still take care of himself. My mom is in good health. I've been dealing a lot with depression. My concentration slips right through my fingers so to speak.

And I'm sorry to hear that Jana. I have been depressed too. This experience has just drained me - and my concentration is, well, non-existent. Hence, the hours spent watching Netflix. I will admit - in the short term, Netflix has been a life saver because it gets my mind off of things I can't fix or control LOL! And things are improving - I'm getting better at dealing with a situation that I have no control over, other than just keeping everyone comfortable.

Here's to brighter days ahead

Deanna,

I know what you mean by Netflix being a life saver. For me it has been Michael Schumacher and Eric Lindros. In May of 1996 I was close to killing myself but when something was telling me to get up and go watch the Spain race I did and saw Shumi for the first time I stopped being suicidal. Then I became a fan of Biggi and thankfully he retired with the Dallas Stars, if not I would of stopped watching Hockey and without the Stars I would not be here today. Music also helps me a lot and so is walking and a few movies and shows.

One day if I start writing again this too will help me. It is my only talent and sadly I stopped writing many years ago and I cannot find the way to start again.

Hi Nancy,

So I guess, in a way, these little things are like our North Star And they help us get focused again. When I watched Netflix, I watched this show called the "Unbreakable Kimmy..." something... I can't remember her last name. Sure, it was just a silly comedy, but it gave me that boost I needed

I hope you get your writing mojo back soon.

Deanna,

I never heard of that show.

How does Netflix work exactly? You can download anything you want anytime? If so can you do that on televisions or is it just on smart phones and computers? I am with Bell for my satellite dish and they have something like that and the downloads (if it works by downloading) can be on televisions but the receptor I have does not work for that. This all sounds awesome to be able to watch what you want when you want to!

Thanks . I tried writing the story I have in my head for many years now but I just do not know how to start it. Plus most of it is like a fog now since it has been in my head for many years .

Netflix is a service you pay for monthly. And you can either watch something via streaming, or you can order the DVDs, watch them, then mail them back. But you don't actually download.

I have had stories stuck in my head too. I have to laugh, because most of the time when I start a story, I start somewhere in the middle LOL. I have no idea what that's about HA HA.

Hey Deanna,

Depression is an ugly monster. If I didn't have my writing I think I'd go nuts. I do have happy times. My writing keeps me going and wanting to get back to HI to be with my gbabies.

It's starting to storm here and it's gloomy...great afternoon.

Hey Nancy,

I think you'll really like Netflix. I don't subscribe. I can't right now. But if you really like movies, then Netflix is your place.

Jana,

I might do that if it's available where I live. I am really behind as far as movies goes, I have all the uncensored movie channels without commercials but there's many movies that are not playing anymore that I have to wait until they play on those that show older movies. I thought about renting by mail but when you get a defective DVD sure they send you another for free but the wait to see the rest of the movie must suck.

You are lucky with your storm. Here it is sunny so far (been like that mostly the past days with a few moments here and there with some clouds hiding the sun). Apparently we will have some rain this weekend (last time was tuesday and what was cool was that it was raining during my walk too - people were looking at me like i was crazy walking slowly in the rain lol).

Nancy,

You don't have to have DVD's. It's available online and you can stream it from your tv. You pay a monthly fee and get to download as many movies as your fee allows. I'm not sure if they base the fee on how many movies you watch per month or what, but it sounds like a great deal if you watch a lot of movies and they have everything.

I don't have the uncensored channels here, they're too expensive, just basic cable.

I love to walk in the rain. People look at me weird. I used to climb on the roof and watch the storms go by, hips won't allow that now.

Such a good topic and apparently I'm not the only one that loves a good storm. If there's a storm in the vicinity, I'm a happy girl, so to speak. My brain, it almost jump starts - clears out the muck.

Once, I had read something about Ions or something that people react to. For me, I'll actually feel it coming ahead of time and pull up a chair outside just to watch it all.

My husband jokes "Special 'K' calls down the thunder whenever she's moody." I think though it's the other way around. I'm simply reacting to something that's already in the area.

Does anybody else react to electric storms? I find I start writing as well. Ironically it's been storming all week

Climbing on the roof to watch the storms sounds like awesome! Never got to do that since we never lived in places where it was doable.

Storms used to scare me because of my mom who would always freak out when there was one. Finally a few years ago I was able to get rid of that stress but sometimes of course it comes back to me. And she still whines about all the stress that her parents have given her and of course freaking out during storms is one of the things her parents did!

It was, but it wasn't the smartest thing to do either. I was the one always walking outside when the thunder clouds rolled in or the tornado sirens went off.

We'd do some serious freaking out here if we freaked out every time there was a storm. But I did work with a gal once that had lived in Dallas. She was scared to death of them.

Where I live in Southern California, and our "storms" are relatively mild. But I was in a Texas storm once :::shiver::: All I can say is "wow." Now that's a storm!

We had great thunderstorms here last night for hours and hours. The tornado sirens went off, but I heard nothing, nature's lullaby was playing.

Jana, that must have been some lullaby Hopefully, things are relatively peaceful there this morning. I don't think I'd like waking up because of tornado sirens

I just went to Youtube to hear those tornado sirens and that sounds scary. Not War of the Worlds and Silent Hill scary but scary nonetheless. The scariest part of those sirens is that it means that a tornado is coming.