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#203918 07/31/05 04:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 61
Kharma Offline OP
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 61
(I posted once a cheater always a cheater a long time ago this is what happened next)I've been with my boyfriend/ ex-boyfriend for 7 years. I've stuck by him through everything, him going to prison, him cheating on me showing me who my real friends are by screwing every single one of them. After cheating on me for like the 20th time I did it to him. When he found out he left me hooked up with some chick, they moved in together all in about one months time. Left me, the dog and all of his belongings he bought all new stuff. This happened about 3 months ago. But he still comes over and tries to control me and my life I try not to, but it's normal for me to let him. I wish that I could tell him to beat it. Now he's not with her anymore and I can feel him trying to worm his way back in. How can I be strong and not let him? Would moving out of town help? Why am I afraid to hurt him?? I'm so stupid. [color:"blue"] [/color]

Last edited by Kharma; 07/31/05 05:03 AM.
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Zebra
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Zebra
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Understanding that you deserve much better than this would help. It's not love--it's codependency. You enable him to be a jerk by tolerating his terrible behavior. He's going to keep trying to come back to you as long as you allow it. Stop. Stop talking to him at all. He's like poison for you.

Moving out of town might help in the short-term, but but you risk getting back into a relationship just like this with someone else. You need to determine why you are attracted to such a hurtful person and why you tolerate being treated like you and your feelings are not important. Imagine your life without all that pain and betrayal. You can put a stop to it, get some healing and learn what a great relationship looks like and then find yourself someone worthy to love.

Good Luck!

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 61
Kharma Offline OP
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 61
Thank You.
One more thing, do you think that all men cheat?
I do!

Last edited by Kharma; 08/01/05 05:27 AM.
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Zebra
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Zebra
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I think men are more prone to cheating, but they don't all cheat. Many women cheat, they are just better at hiding it and not getting caught!

It depends on a person's own values. If they think cheating is no big deal, then it's easy for them to do. I have never cheated because I have to look at myself in the mirror every day!

I have always believed that if you cheat, it means the end of the relationship, so why not end the relationship first--keeps it honest that way. But, for many men, the cheating is the tantalizing part--it's exciting to them to be doing something wrong....???? Kind of stupid, huh?

Joined: Aug 2005
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hmm Offline
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she's right all men don't cheat its been very tempting on both our parts to have flings a long distance relationship is really hard but it will already be about a year since us hooking up and our love and devotion to eachother continues to grow I hope that you find that too its what any and I mean ANY! human deserves.


alot of things come and go in this world I try to stay permanent
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TYPICAL MALE-PIGS (sorry) you can take the strongest most faithful guy & when it comes to sex in their favor...they'll break. It's the oldest history of human nature in males. The difference is feeling bad & not repeating it...One who looks forward to it in planning is a dog & needs to be put outside! lock your doors & get a restraining order if you have to, but most importantly, force yourself to keep away from him...is it love or lust?

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UH OH! Thank Goodness after two years I learned the term "commitmentphobia". They reel you in, they run away...and on and on and on. Stay with him if you can, but be prepared to bleed. Those are Joni Mitchell's words but many of us have lived them. Stay if you want to learn a lot of love's hard lessons in a short time...with much pain. Or turn and walk and never look back. Just be prepared for the next one who comes knocking, because he will. Ask for I.D. at the door!


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