If I had a dime for every time I was told "Im sorry" by my husband I swear I could finance a national campaign to stop violence against women. I understand he was hurt, I understand he misses home and family(I use that phrase loosely), I understand all that, it doesnt mean I have to feel sorry for him out of a sense of "duty" or "obligation" to him just because I am his wife.
Being a wife does not mean that we "obey" them without question as in this day and age, we have as women our own morals and values and most times they do not agree with the spouses. We hear Im sorry so often that after a while it looses its validity. They swear they will change and get help, but all the anger management and counselling in the world aint gonna make you cured forever, its always gonna be there lingering on the surface.
Its just like a drug addict or alcholic, the programs are not gonna work unless they BELIEVE it will, but again its always gonna be there, the cravings, the fear, etc. They say fear is a forerunner of failure, perhaps thats true with our abusers. They need that control and are filled with fear when they loose that control.
I dont know perhaps I am just a pessimist, and lack hope, who the hell knows. I do know that no one has the right to tell us what to do, who to have as friends, or anything else. Its denying our right to think and feel for ourselves, and havent women fought enough over the years to get at least some kind of equal rights? So then who are they to try and take that away from us? A better question, who are they to take that away and who are we to give them that kind of power over us, there is only one power that is over us all, that of Divine.

I do believe there is a slight dilema depending on how each of us was raised. There are still many households that raise daughters taught to be wholely submissive to their husbands. The old thought of the husband has the finally word is still in a lot of families. A lot of women who are being abused struggle with the thoughts of obeying their husbands or getting out to protect their life.

I agree that we women have fought for freedom from a patriarcal society for hundreds of years and evern though many of us have overcome this, we still have to help our sisters stand up for their rights and to stand behind them when a man is trying to beat them down.