Hi I'm Jovi. I came across this forum & decided to give it a try to ease the pain a bit. I'm 28 years old. I recently got back w/my very first love & got pregnant. I went to my 8 week appt. and when they did the u/s; my ob couldn't find a heart beat & the baby was smaller than it should be. Wasn't developing correctly. I got sent to the hospital for more testing & they revealed the same exact thing as my ob. I was devastated. I was told about 1 1/2yrs. that I had PCOS & it would be hard to get pregnant. So I was pretty amazed when I found out I was pregnant. We both were. The next couple days following my appt. I had numerous talks w/my ob & he told me that I would need a D&C done. That the baby wasn't alive & if I waited I would eventually pass the baby. I was horrified. I didn't know what a D&C was really; first time I ever had anything done to me in a hospital. It was the scariest moment in my life. It's been a week since this has happened & I feel a terrible loss. My emotions have been up & down & I cry for anything. I think about everything that I've done to take care of myself better. I did everything the ob had told me. It was an exciting time in our lives & so quickly taken away. Some people expect me to get back to "normal", but I don't know what normal is anymore. Sometimes it feels as if I'm alone, but reading all these stories in here makes it better to know that I'm not alone. I still have the things in the hospital bag & I still have all my baby books out; I have a scrapbook that I started & now I'm working the nerve to put those things in a box. Well thats my story. I'm trying to take it day by day and learning how to cope w/the loss of my baby.