Hi everyone,

I would like to ask that when posting in this forum that we please refrain from posting pictures of babies and children. Everyone grieves in a different way, and for many women who have had miscarriages, images of children are hard to take. Since this forum is to be a refuge for those who have miscarried, please keep this in mind and remember that we're all in different places in the grieving process, and some members may not be ready to see pictures of children. I hope you understand.

Thanks for your consideration and please feel free to contact me with any concerns.

--Krissi

Post deleted by BellaOnline

Ladies, Ladies...

Avatars are the pictures we can post with our signiture. The avatars are not controllable for just one board. You can't just change it in one place. They are active across the board. When ever you change them they appear in every post everywhere on Bella Forums. That's just the way it is.


And last, DO NOT send ANYONE here threatening emails or nasty, mean, condescending, or hate mail of any kind related to Bella Online! If you have something to say about a post in a forum, contact the moderator of that post. If you feel that you aren't getting anywhere with that person, you can contact the webmaster of Bella Online.

Let's be civil and understanding. Let's act like adults. Don't just react out of emotion by doing something you will regret later.... <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Hello everyone,

I'm one of the managers here at BellaOnline.com. In fact, I'm the manager in charge of the forums <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When a user of this forum changes their avatar the change is made for every post that user has ever made.

If someone posts something you find offensive, please contact the moderator of that forum and give them a few days to respond. If you are not satisfied with the response feel free to private message me through these forums or email me at

resources at bellaonline dot com

I have banned people for posting offensive material.

I have a friend who was pregnant with a little girl at the same time I was - we were due about 6 months apart. Her baby died a few days before the scheduled c-section. It was very upsetting. I remember how she cried when she held my baby girl for the first time. Very sad. My friend had a little boy about two years later.

I hope this forum can continue to be a refuge of healing and hope for those of you who've lost children. For those who've gone on to have healthy children after a miscarriage, please be mindful of those who have not.

Perhaps the editor of this topic would consider a thread of hope for those who've gone on to have healthy children.

If anyone has any questions, feel free to contact me.

I am sorry if this note offended anyone. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I don't know of a really good way to solve this problem. I agree that sending hateful emails is wrong and I would hope no one would do something so hurtful.

I have had a healthy child myself since my recurrent miscarriages and I completely understand wanting to show pictures of one's children. But I also know that for someone whose miscarriages are more recent that it can indeed be painful to see pictures that remind them of what they lost.

A possible solution? I have just seen in the control panel that there is an option that you can check if you click on "My Home" and then display preferences. There is an option there to not view other users' pictures or signatures with their posts. It is true that the picture in question was an avatar image and it appears on all posts on all boards, so I know that it was not posted here purposefully...and I don't want anyone to stop posting here because I know that having a healthy child does not make the pain of miscarriages go away.

Anyway, I just want to find the solution that best serves everyone's needs. I agree that a thread of hope would be a great idea.

Good day to all and again, I'm always open to comments.

--Krissi

I tried to erase all my posts but I didn't know the picture would stay there and it would just say "post deleted".

After experiencing the death of my first son and miscarriages I was just so proud of my baby boy, my only living son. I wasn't bragging that I have a child and others don't, I wasn't intending to hurt anyone. I have my son as my avatar because I have many, man good friends who are editors at bella who have gone through my pregnancy and I want to share my son with them and the world.

I do not begrudge the women who wrote me some nasty (and some not nasty) emails. I have been there, I know the hurt. After my first miscarriage I freaked out at a woman in a store because she cut in front of my in line. If she hadn't been so pregnant I probably would have ignored it.

I'm not going to post here any longer since the picture of my son obviously upsets people. I will not remove the picture as my avatar, and I plan on using a new picture of him (and my other children) in the future.

Oh, and btw - Thanks for the post Krissi, I'm glad you understand that I didn't put my son's pic up to be mean, it's my avatar, nothing more, it's on all my posts. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Meg

Ok, I tried to completely delete the above post for you Meg, but it's leaving the avatar up for me, too.

Hey, Krissi, I did not find your post offensive but just informative. As another miscarriage statistic, I feel that the last thing I would want to see is another picture of a baby soon after my miscarriage. Although I am very excited that Meg was able to conceive (and, Meg, you have shed a little bit of light on me that there are children after miscarriages) but a lot of the posts are women who recently miscarried and are going through that devastating feeling of loss. I can see where Krissi's post was coming from. Great job of working things out to you all...that is another reason women are so great!

This reminds me of when I had to go to a convention shortly after suffering a miscarriage... it was a family event, with babies and small children and pregnant bellies seemingly everywhere.

I was one miserable chica. Nobody wants to hear people gloating about their kids at a time like that! Thank God I had a kind old friend there who understood.

Thanks. I agree