that is good that he is in your childrens lives, my sons dad hasnt been in his life for years...but i think we are much better off since he has a drug problem and doesnt even acknoledge his existence

tiflyn:

I have discovered that many sinlge parents go through stages...denial, hope for reconciliation, and then all the things you listed above.

The hurt, bitterness, anger, reentment phase is the hardest to overcome. Mine lasted about 1 year. My mothers has now lasted 20 years and is still ongoing.

It helped me to focus on what I did wrong and try to fix it instead of dwelling on what he did wrong. It was easy at first to say, "I never did anything" but little things started making sense.

I wouldn't do the dishes..sounds silly but loking back I can see how much that annoyed my ex, so I do them now. I watched too much TV...I don't own one now. I was too controling and pushed my views on him...I've backed off around other people and let them have their own opinions.

It is VERY hard. I am not sure if you are a religious person or not but if you are prayer really does help. I have pleaded with Heavenly Father many times to help me through some trials and as long as I did all I could things would always seem to just work out.

((((HUGS))))

Welcome to all of you! It is good to hear from so many different moms in so many different areas! Hopefully we will be able to help each other!

Hi everyone. I am new to this forum, but had to post a message to all you single parents.
YOU CAN DO IT. I am a mother of 22 and 19 year old girls and I have raised them mostly on my own. It has been a challenge, but much better than living in a terrible relationship.
Ask for help when needed. Take a break if you can. Count to 10 or even 1000 when you think you are about to lose it. And look at your beautiful child, or children and know that you are doing what is best for them and you also.
"I will survive"!!!!!!!

Hi, Jane! And Welcome! Thank you for the encouragement! I hope that you will share more of your own success story. I have daughters 16 and 20 and have raised them on my own since the youngest was born. As you said, it is never easy, but it is very rewarding! Again, welcome to the group!

Cynthia

Thank you for the welcome. I find it hard to believe that my girls are as old as they are. My oldest is now a mother herself to a very active 19 month old.
I think the hardest struggle I faced was the financial strain(I have just started in the last year and a half to get child support!!!!!). I was able to work, but 1 income never seemed to keep us above water. My girls learned to accept hand-me-down clothes, and we shopped in thrift stores if necessary. I was lucky to have many kind people who would help out when needed.
If you are able to explain things to your children, without playing mean or dirty(in regards to your ex), I think you will find that they are more understanding than we know.
Have a great day all, and be strong.

Tiflyn
Please do not hide...you are not alone...(hugs) if ok...

Hi I am a single pareant of 3 wonderful girls. There father has not interest in there lives. I am doing the best that I can. Trying to find a spot where I can find support

Another newbie here & a single Mom too of a wonderful son whom is 20 yrs old. I've raised him completely on my own his whole life, no Father at all. Yep, if you want to know about that then let me know plz. Anyway, he is now in his 3rd year at ASU after he received an academic scholarship in high school. It wasn't easy, raising him, but I'm as proud as I could ever be of him.

Jol

Im a almost 20 year old single mom to an almost 2 year old daughter.Its hard being young and raising a kid while working too.I also HATE my daughters father.Weve tried repeatedly to get along but hes just done too much too forgive & Im so stressed by all the bullshit.We split up when she was a newborn bcuz I found out he cheated on me while I was pregnant & Ive hated him ever since..weve been to court twice..did the child support thing..& now Im just annoyed of getting him to pay me on time..Im about to have it directly deposited but Im kinda iffy about that considering he changes jobs so much..what do yall think?Im planning on cutting off all ties to see if he even will go out of his way and show me he even WANTS to see his daughter.I just wanted help raising her and he cant even do that.He just wants to drink and go to strip clubs.What a loser huh.
Im sooo stressed out and wish I wouldve never met him & had all these problems.

Is anybody there that has a similar situation?