Well, I know this is a new site, so I figure there aren't going to be too many readers here yet...but if you are here and get a chance, have a look at this article and post your thoughts.
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art22886.asp

Did your doctor use these terms in your situation? What do you think about them? Feel free to share your comments here.

--Krissi Danielsson
Miscarriage Editor, http://miscarriage.bellaonline.com

I totally agree, I have just suffered my 2nd miscarriage and I am in awe not only of the insensitivety of the terminology but of the places they send you to have a miscarriage diagnosed. After being admitted to hospital, then released, on Saturday, with a threatened abortion(what is that? am i threatening to do it to myself with a coathanger, what does that term mean really)I found myself this morning having an ultrasound and blood tests to confirm I was losing my baby. This was bad enough but them I found myself surrounded by pregnant women who were gooing an gaaing over their ultrasound photos. Whilst I don't begrudge them that, I have been fortunate to have been in that position myself 3 and 1/2 years ago - I think it's totally unfair to put someone who is going through the loss of a child in the same waiting room as those with continuing pregnancies. Not only that but the walls were full of pregnancy advice and photo's of unborns as well. I am not suggesting that we be put away in some out of the way corner room but somewhere a little more respectful of our feelings and what we are enduring would be preferable to that. Not only did I feel awful when I finally burst into tears but I could see the embarrasment of those other future Mum's as they realised that, as i was in tears that something must be terribly wrong. Helpful pamphlets like how to manage yourself whilst miscarrying, what's going to happen, do you need a D&C - miscarriage help lines where you can contact people who can help you when you suddenly remember a question you forgot to ask because of the stress and shock. I don't think it's too much to ask really - is it?

I have found the whole experience more stressful purely by having to refer to it by it's "proper" name - complete abortion - as you said these are terms associated with a voluntary operation to get rid of an unwanted baby - which does not in any way shape or form describe what has happened to me in the last 3 days.
Sheets

What a terrible ordeal. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through that. I hope you're doing okay. I know it must be a difficult time right now. I remember my 2nd and I think it was the hardest of them all.

I totally agree that hospitals should perhaps have separate waiting rooms for those who are there for an ultrasound because of a possible problem. One time when waiting for an ultrasound with one of mine, I was treated to having to listen to a six-months-pregnant woman complain about being too hot and hating being pregnant. It was indeed very hard to take.

Unfortunately, the experiences described in the earlier replies seem to be somewhat universal, and it is time that we changed the awareness of doctors, midwives and other medical staff. Recently, I came across an article in a London newspaper about a memorial service in a hospital for all parents who had suffered miscarriage and baby loss. I thought for a moment, finally, somebody has put some thought into providing a meaningful ritual/facility, when I read further, and it said: ...'for those who have suffered miscarriage after 4 months and lost their baby at birth'... How is that supposed to make parents feel, who suffered from miscarriage at an earlier state? They are also excluded from all NHS counselling. The NHS does not recognize at all the physcial and psychological scarring and strain on both parents.

i am going through 2 or three letters. I start reading this website about today because i am having a misscarriage last week. So i dont have any experienced about it. Than to think about D & C or anything than it, my mind can't make it. So hard. So who have any suggestion, what treatment that suit the most to me. This is the first and this is the 2nd bb.

thank u

the sherreen <img src="/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

i am going through 2 or three letters. I start reading this website about today because i am having a misscarriage last week. So i dont have any experienced about it. Than to think about D & C or anything than it, my mind can't make it. So hard. So who have any suggestion, what treatment that suit the most to me. This is the first and this is the 2nd bb.

thank u

the sherreen <img src="/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I totally agree that the medical community in this day and age is still terribly insensitive to women who are miscarrying or have miscarried. At least some of my medical practitioners were embarrassed that the paperwork said "spontaneous abortion."

Then I experienced 2 "missed abortions" and doctors wanted to immediately get me in for a D&C - which is the same procedure done for abortions. I refused both times, certain that my body could handle it.

That is a topic that I think isn't discussed often - that our bodies are capable of giving birth and of miscarrying naturally but the medical community has blurred and deadened the experiences with anesthesia and medical instruments.

I used a combination of herbs, acupuncture and reflexology to allow my body to naturally expel the pregnancy both times. Our bodies know what to do but the medical community still interferes with our natural processes making a difficult experience far more traumatic.

I just had my D&C yesterday. We had an "incomplete" miscarriage last week, and I'm glad that I took a few days to grieve and accept the situation before electing to have the surgery. I was much calmer and prepared than if I had rushed in for the procedure. It did not feel like the doctors were taking my baby out--I had had adequate time to grieve for that loss already and felt as if the doctor was helping to give me a clean slate for my next try. The process was quick, painless and everyone at the Hospital were supportive and kind. My husband was great, and I already feel TONS better today. I can actually feel my hormone levels returning to normal, and I feel much more healthy and cleansed by the experience.

I don't mean to gloss over the terrible feelings and sense of loss that we felt--having to have surgery after losing a baby seems like adding insult to injury, especially since you have to go to the hospital and be put under anesthesia. I was anxious about the procedure--it seemed so invasive and cold. I still feel this way, but after having undergone it, I see that it is healthy and necessary, and if you have a good doctor as I did, the process can be positive.

Best of luck, and please don't worry too much. It was hard, but quick, and I survived!

I hope this won't offend anyone. I myself went through 2 miscarriages. The last one being just last month. I happened upon this thread when looking up info on Curves for Women (and found it, but continued browsing).

I defintely do not invalidate how you feel about terminology used. That is your response and of course you are entitled to it. Might I say, though, that you might have spared yourself the negative or emotional reaction if you understood that facts and medical terms? "Miscarriage" is actually the "politically correct" term that came AFTER the long use of the term "abortion." In the older days, abortion just simply meant when the fetus didn't carry to term. Then then a spontaneous one meant it just happened, a missed/incomplete one meant it happened but there is still "products of conception" (another technical term I learned associated with my miscarriage) left. Threatened abortion means, well, a miscarriage is imminent. Then there is elective abortion, to mean what we think the plain term "abortion" mean.

I don't think the medical professionals in any way intend on being insensitive. I think in order that they are not wrapped up with the emotions of your loss with you (not really knowing how everyone feels about it). I think they have a hard job...and the only way they can stay neutral is to remain neutral in their use of terminology. Frankly, I'd rather leave the handholding by those who are better trained to handle my grief....like a counselor.

I went back for an ultrasound after not one but two D&C's because the first one wasn't a "clean" job. When the technician asked me what the ultrasound was for I tried to explain that the D&C wasn't clean and that not all of the ___ came out. I drew a blank on that ___. What do I call it? Not a baby, not fetus....ah, the tech said "products of conception." I think they actually do try to sound technical to protect you from being emotional.

While on the topic -- none of the physicians at both miscarriages ever "diagnosed" or called the situation a "miscarriage." They called it as it was -- no fetal hearbeat in one case and "no fetal movement" in the other. You figure out what that means..... I think they are just trained to state the objective facts.

Yes, not the most "sensitive" to say but then again, I leave the counseling to the counselors.

I just had a D & C last week, and I the NP I saw completely lacked any sort of compassion. She kept saying my pregnancy wasn't "viable." Viable? Just say what it is. . . my baby stopped growing. They do have the strangest words.

This sort of thing happens so often, I suppose they couldn't feel sad for everyone who this happens to, but I was so shocked at her reaction.

Good doctors and other medical professionals use medical terminology but should be attuned to patient sensibilities and perceptions. Those with good people skills will also explain or "translate" things into terms the average person can understand. Certainly, if a patient does not understand something, the patient should feel entitled to ask for further explanation.

It would be unwise to ask medical professionals to use only common, non-medical terminology. Ultimately, the medical terminology they use goes into their written reports, and patients are entitled to know that terminology. Of course, the reports MUST contain standard medical terminology which is vital because these records need to be shareable by other professionals. Standardizing medical terminology has always been vital to insuring clear reports.

Having worked in the medical field for several years, I can attest to the FACT that 'abortion' is the medical term for miscarriage. It simply refers to the natural process the body goes through in the unfortunate event that a fetus needs to be expelled. It was a term used before clinical abortions were ever performed--way before "abortion" was a hot-button issue.

As for opting out of a D&C when products of conception are retained, I would personally be afraid to do that. Only about 100 years ago, complications of childbirth were the leading cause of death among women. Retaining products of conception was an extremely dangerous thing for women. Anything left behind had the potential to become a perfect environment for deadly infection--and I do mean deadly. (Talk about a painful death!) Granted, there are women whose bodies expell the material over time; but, normally, if everything is not expelled at the time of miscarriage or birth, a D&C can insure that nothing is left to set up infection. In the "olden" days, we did not have D&Cs, and there were no antibiotics!

One thing my clinic did for women who miscarried was to give each one a book on dealing with the grief of losing a baby. I believe the doctors gave out this book before the patients left the hospital. I thought this was a very nice gesture, and we definitely heard from patients who appreciated it. I'm sorry I do not remember the title. Losing a baby at any stage of development is definitely a difficult, tragic thing for most women (and their partners) to accept, so, the emotional side of things really needs to be acknowledged by the medical professionals.

Ironically, in this age of pro-choice, we see people blithely undergoing clinical abortions while others experience "natural" abortions as a solemn, sad event. The clinic I worked in refused to do clinical abortions. Its doctors had a pro-life practice without making an issue of it. Unfortunately, there are forces that would, if they could, insist that all ob-gyns offer clinical abortions regardless of their personal beliefs. Also, the grief book I mentioned took the stance that there is a God. That stance also draws a lot of fire. Sometimes, if someone (a doctor or whoever) offers us some compassion or comfort, we should just accept it whether or not we think their words perfectly align with our personal belief systems. I think we can inhibit people's following their good instincts when we reject their seemingly awkward attempts at communicating compassion.