Good doctors and other medical professionals use medical terminology but should be attuned to patient sensibilities and perceptions. Those with good people skills will also explain or "translate" things into terms the average person can understand. Certainly, if a patient does not understand something, the patient should feel entitled to ask for further explanation.
It would be unwise to ask medical professionals to use only common, non-medical terminology. Ultimately, the medical terminology they use goes into their written reports, and patients are entitled to know that terminology. Of course, the reports MUST contain standard medical terminology which is vital because these records need to be shareable by other professionals. Standardizing medical terminology has always been vital to insuring clear reports.
Having worked in the medical field for several years, I can attest to the FACT that 'abortion' is the medical term for miscarriage. It simply refers to the natural process the body goes through in the unfortunate event that a fetus needs to be expelled. It was a term used before clinical abortions were ever performed--way before "abortion" was a hot-button issue.
As for opting out of a D&C when products of conception are retained, I would personally be afraid to do that. Only about 100 years ago, complications of childbirth were the leading cause of death among women. Retaining products of conception was an extremely dangerous thing for women. Anything left behind had the potential to become a perfect environment for deadly infection--and I do mean deadly. (Talk about a painful death!) Granted, there are women whose bodies expell the material over time; but, normally, if everything is not expelled at the time of miscarriage or birth, a D&C can insure that nothing is left to set up infection. In the "olden" days, we did not have D&Cs, and there were no antibiotics!
One thing my clinic did for women who miscarried was to give each one a book on dealing with the grief of losing a baby. I believe the doctors gave out this book before the patients left the hospital. I thought this was a very nice gesture, and we definitely heard from patients who appreciated it. I'm sorry I do not remember the title. Losing a baby at any stage of development is definitely a difficult, tragic thing for most women (and their partners) to accept, so, the emotional side of things really needs to be acknowledged by the medical professionals.
Ironically, in this age of pro-choice, we see people blithely undergoing clinical abortions while others experience "natural" abortions as a solemn, sad event. The clinic I worked in refused to do clinical abortions. Its doctors had a pro-life practice without making an issue of it. Unfortunately, there are forces that would, if they could, insist that all ob-gyns offer clinical abortions regardless of their personal beliefs. Also, the grief book I mentioned took the stance that there is a God. That stance also draws a lot of fire. Sometimes, if someone (a doctor or whoever) offers us some compassion or comfort, we should just accept it whether or not we think their words perfectly align with our personal belief systems. I think we can inhibit people's following their good instincts when we reject their seemingly awkward attempts at communicating compassion.
