BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Life Coaching How is your social life?

When was the last time you spent time with friends? What did you do?

I have a monthly Art Club meeting. This time we made handmade books, decorating the covers and sharing our fun. I look forward to these meetings for the inspiration and the socialization.

I'll answer this, although you'll wish I hadn't! ; )

I moved to California from Ohio 5 months ago to live with a boyfriend of 3 years who is considerably older than me. I have made NO friends here yet and had to travel home for the 4th of July just to see the friends I do have! I've been on Meetup.com to try to get involved in some local groups that share my interests: two of which are books and birdwatching, but it looks like those groups don't exist in my area. I e-mailed a local birding person I found out about- he never replied. My job is a no-go for a new friend: I have tried to initiate some conversation with a few here, but to no avail. The people here seem very self-absorbed and "not my type". I've looked all around for some kind of interesting organization to be a part of, but it's almost like people here are too busy for that kind of stuff. I don't really know what else to do about this situation. I mean, I think I'm interesting, I'm decent looking, I think I'm nice- is it that hard to make friends in this world??? This post sounds so pitiful but I seriously AM trying to approach this with a sense of humor- I'm about to take out a personal ad! ; )

My BF is a wonderful man who has some very close friends from childhood, but I'm not looking to nose in on those friendships- I want some of my own!!

So in a word- my social life "sucks"! : )

I have a wide range of interests and have three little social groups that I go to once a month. I also have worked as a volunteer with an educational group for a few years, and that is just 3 hours a week, once a week. I've done that one for almost three years (wow!). Both of those options let me stay in touch with some folks I've known for a while, and also give me an opportunity to meet new folks.

A really good girlfriend of mine who lives about an hour away and I have a monthly movie date, as her husband just can't ever seem to be dragged out to one. She and I are crazy about movies! So, once a month, she comes over, we pick up some food, rent a few DVDs and then just soak up the filmic goodness. Sometimes we go see something that's out in the theaters, but more often we watch something rented so we can do more than one film. Those TV season DVD box sets are spectacular for that purpose.

I try to keep in the habit of calling my circle of friends at least once a month. You really have to reach out to friends because everyone gets busy and its very easy to lose touch and bam a year or two has passed.

I'm careful of what types of activities I get involved with. I have friends who'd rather throw back a few drinks at a bar and call that recreation. I'll minimize my time at bars and clubs because its really a waste of time.

Social, religious and charity groups are usually good calls for finding decent like minded people.

my social life sucks. lol. I moved in with my BF, now husband, 3 years ago due to a Workmans comp injury issue. i basically shut down.
i find i ebb and flow depending on the pain.
it just seems hard to now get out and do things. i do have a student i teach for literacy teaching thru the library.
any other ideas? oh i go to collage too. have one night class two nights a week for 3 hours each this semester.

My social life is fantastic. Go dancing 4 times a week, dining out once a week and seem to be on the phone chatting every day.

Would not change my life for anything.

I find I'm surrounded by a ton of friends, but I do feel the distance as I'm at the age where going out partying is still the norm and I live iwht my boyfriend and would rather be doing more constructive things with my time although I do love partying too, I feel I'm gettin a bit old for it.

As a full-time mom, I make getting out of the house by myself a priority. I usually meet another mommy friend or two for coffee, dinner, or a movie. I go out at least once a week.

Can't say I have much of a social life at all. I grew up very much a loner, as I was painfully shy and was abused (sexualy and verbally) as a child. I had one friend when I was really young - around the age of 7-8 - but she moved away when I was 9. Then I made friends with a girl across the street briefly, but was ostracized because I was older than her by almost 4 years - that was when I was around 10-12, so that friendship didn't last long. I was fortunate when I was around 14 to become friends with a girl at the end of the street, she and I were the same age and both of us were in abusive homes, and we both had the same interests, so we clicked immediately. We are still best of friends today (I'm 49 now), but unfortunately we live almost 1000 miles apart.

I do find it very hard to make new friends, always did. I'm not the greatest conversationalist in the world, and my interests tend to be somewhat different than most people I tend to meet. While most women around here (that I've met) are into talking about work, or husbands, or shopping, I am more interested in spirituality, animals, writing, horseback riding, that kind of thing. I am extremely fortunate though; my sister and I have always been best of friends, and we live only 10 minutes away from one another, as well as work at the same company. We do get together every so often with four other women from work to go out to dinner or just have a gettogether, but unfortunately it's not too often. I tend to find those gettogethers not very exciting any more anyway, as they wind up becoming an excuse to chat and complain about work - something I hate doing. (I figure, I spend over 8 hours a day there...I just dislike incorporating it into my personal time as well.)

I also have a close friend I met online several years ago who lives near Boston...and again, unfortunately she and I live quite a distance apart. I did go and visit her a couple of years ago and we had a wonderful time together...hopefully we'll get to do it again sometime.

Oh, and I am so thankful for one thing; my son is one of those people who is constantly making new friends. I grew up in a family where we were discouraged from making friends...weren't allowed to invite anyone into the house, weren't allowed to take part in any organised events, and if we did have a friend over, they rarely ever came back, as our dad made it so uncomfortable for them...banging things around, getting angry and yelling (no wonder we grew up so socially stinted). But my son has always been surrounded by friends, and is always managing to make new ones as well. I guess it's the old 'I'm so glad he didn't turn out like me' thing, at least in that one respect.

And while I do tend to keep to myself a fair bit, I also find that I sometimes wish I had a larger circle of friends. I've tried meeting new people around here, but for the most part haven't been successful. My sister, who has always been a 'social butterfly' seems to be having the same problem; she says she's finding it very hard to meet people and form friendships that last. However, I am not one to give up, and will keep trying. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

***Oops...I didn't really answer the original question! Well, two nights ago my little circle of work friends got together for a belated Halloween dinner (minus one who couldn't make it). For the most part it was fun, but the conversation did keep getting swayed back to work time and time again. During those periods I fought to keep from falling asleep...but at least it was fun to get out...

what social life? i don't have one, i have agoraphobia im always home my shrink she comes to my home for our sessions, abuse plays a big roll in who i am today i am bipolar, have posttraumatic disorder, desociation, personality disorders,depression and anxiety, my home is my haven the thought of leaving it scares the hell out of me, when i do have to leave i over medicate myself so i rather stay home, i envy people that can leave there home and live a so called normal life, i am greatful my friends try to understand who i am and put up with me

Wow, I used to have a super social life with super hey time buddies. Its sad that we graduated and have jobs of our own now. I have been deprived of this whats the word again? SoCIAL LIFE...since I work on a night shift basis. We seldom get in touch and I am only available on Sundays. what a life I cant even go to church regularly plus not to discount the afct that ive been single since 3 years ago..nah nah nah... but yeah, Monday will be a holiday so my friends here I am again...shoot me! we are gonna part hard

My social life used to be more exciting. I found that once you get out of school and start working and everyone grows up, you keep very few of those friends, and lose many you thought were friends. Currently, I have maybe 3 friends I see fairly regularily, once a week maybe. And then I spend time with my husband, my mom, my dad, and the rest is spent alone (or with husband) My husband goes out himself at least once a week. Sometimes I go with him, sometimes I dont. And I go out usually once a week with out him, even if its just with my mom. And then my husband and I try to go out once or twice a week together, either for dinner, or movie or shopping or whatever, even just going to a friends place for a couple hours.

We have our main friends we see almost weekly, either they visit, or we visit them. As far as partying and going to the bar, MAYBE once a month, usually just for someones birthday though.

Yeah my social life is somewhat boring. All we do is "hang out" chat, have a drink or 2, watch a movie, shop, stuff like that. Which I enjoy, but its pretty much ALL we do. I would like to find some interests I could share with my friends, not just individual hobbies. But I find it hard to make NEW friends. I dont know what to talk about. Especially at work. We tend to talk ABOUT work AT work and thats it.

I duno... Im pretty boring lol

I�m a family guy. My wife dislike I spend my time with my buddies.
Our social life is some family party and family travel and picnic with family members or friends. Nearly every weekend we go picnic here or cities around.

Last time I have spent with my buddies refer to two years ago. That was a one-day trip to mountains; we had nice and memorable time together and in the night I back home with happiness.
My wife was too angry about my feeling, she told, �it�s shameful for a man to enjoy with friends whereas he�s married�
My friends some times criticize and satirize me for that but I know, they haven�t better situation than me, just one of them that is single still, anxiously I waiting to see his behavior after marriage. <img src="/images/graemlins/computer.gif" alt="" />

I can very well relate

Not much. but whenever i get time, I call all of my friends and make a plan for gettogther party.


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It was many years ago when my best friend visited me a few minutes while driving from a vacation with her parents, they went camping in New Brunswick which was less than one hour away back then and she asked dad if Ste-Florence was near and he said that they would drive pass it. I almost fainted when I opened the door to see her. She was supposed to email me the picture her mom took of us which she never did. Then we talked on the phone a few times a few years later and we talked a few more times on the internet. After that house was set on fire she immediately answered the email I sent to everyone and that was the last time I heard from her. Before that short visit I have to go back a few more years back for me to have been with a friend. We were very close until she moved to Ottawa and we stayed very close for about two years after she moved but at least when we became to drift apart we kept in touch with emails. I cannot write her because I do not remember her entire address and I asked her repeatedly by email to sent it to me and she never did.

It's been almost 3 weeks So busy during the holidays I didn't think about it. Now I feel lonely.

Building a network of local friends is just SO so important. Study after study shows that.

It's important to get out of the house and meet local people. Join a local writing group. A local photography group. A local church. Whatever you're interested in.

Those social networks reduce stress, get you better sleep, better health, and improve life in countless other ways.

Take that step!