Went to the Renaissance Faire again today. They have a show called "Trial and Punishment." One of the players goes onstage before Friar Tuck and logs a complaint, points out someone in the audience, and that person gets dragged onto the stage to stand trial for the crime. The woman went onto the stage and said she was the royal goose guard and that her job was stolen by someone in the audience...she then points her finger.....at me. (figures my crime would be wildlife related!) They drag me onstage.
"What's your name," they ask.
"Marian," I say.
"Maid Marian?!?!!?!?!? We've been waiting a loooooong time to get YOU here," they say.
"What's your occupation, Maid Marian?"
"Nuclear medicine," I say.
(now, you have to understand that they usually try to work the person's occupation into the act) The guy who plays Friar Tuck starts laughing and says "I'm not doing this one!!" Heheheheeheh......but, bravely, they go on. They make a few really bad jokes about keeping my nuclear arms away from them and proceed with the trial. To prove that I'm guilty, they have me finish the nursery rhyme "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick." For the life of me, I couldn't remember the dang words! So they get the audience to say it and I yell out, "That's it!" More laughter. Then they try "Little Miss Muffet sat on her..." "Tuffet," I say. "AHA," they say, "see...she is trying to be MOTHER GOOSE." The audience starts yelling "guilty...guilty..." The person defending me (the Amazon woman) says "wait...I can prove her innocence!" She calls forth one of the other players (a cute guy). He tells the audience to watch me for any reaction. He then "gooses" one of the other female players. I don't move. "AHA!!!" he says, "see...she didn't move to guard against that goose, therefore she is NOT the goose guard!" "OOOOO....." the audience says. They then, by audience applause, decide whether I'm guilty or innocent (I egg them on for the innocent plea). Innocent, it is! Huzzah!! Somehow (I'm not quite sure how this came to be) we ended up playing "duck,duck, goose". When the guy hit me on the head, he said, "goose", then goosed me in the rear. I gave him a fake punch in the nose and then he started to run to find his place in the duck,duck line. But I sneaked around and took it by going the wrong way. The lady playing the Amazon was laughing so hard she could hardly stand. The guy came back around, to find me already standing there, smiling. "Hey!" he said, "I was supposed to.. you... " and then he threw down his hat. Everyone lost it then. Since I was innocent, they let me go back to my seat. After the show, people would pass me at the Faire and say "guilty" or "innocent" as they walked by.
<img src="/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Maid Marian