BellaOnline Forums Family Work & Family Hey, moms, share your fun tips

I'm going to be building up a nice collection of "Moms' Time-Out Tips" and "Kids' Time-Out Tips" at BellaOnline's Work and Family site, and I'm looking for your help.

You know how you like to share parenting ideas with your friends over cofee, tea or whatever? Well, how about sharing them with your friends here at the Work & Family forum and site?

Moms' Time-Out Tips are ideas for how a mother can take time from her busy day to do something just for herself... something to help her relax, have fun, or just reward herself after a day of taking care of everyone else's needs.

Kids' Time-Out Tips are ideas for quality-time projects a mother can do with her kids... it could be a craft, a special together-time idea, a way to make a necesary chore more fun, or anything else.

Both tips require specific details on how to do it and, if necessary, a list of ingredients or supplies.

So, how about it? Share your ideas here and I'll pick the best ones to feature in future time-out tip stories. I will give you credit for inspiring the story and even include a link to your Web site, if you have one, as long as your site is specifically geared toward the project or idea you write about.

If you're interested, please read about it here: http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art9542.asp

Then, post your ideas here at the forum.

I welcome all family-friendly ideas. If your idea speaks directly to moms who are trying to balance work and family, all the better... but any fun tips at all would be great.

So, don't be shy. Share your expertise and ideas with the rest of us!

Sonja <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My tip will be the make a 10 - 15 minute time to read. You will be surprised at how much it helps.

My kid tip is get a blanket lay it out in the front/back or where ever and look at stars. This is especially good to do if you suspect that they need to tell you something, they usually will when you are just lying there looking at stars.

Ok... I've got a teen age boy and I've found that there are things I can do to keep the bond strong with him...

One of those things is to go grocery shopping just the two of us. That way he gets some things just for him that he picks out and they are HIS. I also consult his opinion on what meat to buy and what to make for dinner during the week. I think it makes him feel involved in the decisions in the family therefore validating his importance to me.

Another thing that we do together is watch sports. He is very involved in basketball so I watch with him while he shows me certain things and gives me stats on certain players. I always root for his favorite team so we can win together. I'm always amazed at how much he knows about basketball; the game and how it's played and the different players and their strengths and weaknesses. Again, I am validating the things he likes and saying that he is OK for having his own interests.

Third, I ask for his help with chores all the time. I make it clear that feeding the animals (we have a dog,cat,horse,chickens), or cleaning the house is done so much better with his help. I think it makes him feel that I see him as more of a grown up and not as much of a baby...which he will always be to his mama...lol.

Another thing I do is tell my son how much I love him every day. I know that this isn't really something we do together but I feel like I cover all bases. Sometimes I think he really needs to hear it but may not be able to ask for it so I offer it clearly and repeatedly throughout the day. I'm still amazed that at 13 he tells me he loves me too without shame or embarrassment even in front of his friends.

The things I do for myself are simple...
First, I like to have a little bit of a tan all year long so I go to a tanning salon. I use the special type of lotions that they offer and I only try to go once a week. I know the dangers of using tanning beds, but the pay off for me is great: I get to spend at least 30 minutes by myself, and I feel like I look better so my self-esteem is almost always up.

Second, I always get my hair done. I go to a hair sylist to get it cut and I always get it washed and the whole 9 yards. It makes me feel pampered for about an hour. I only go when I absolutly need a hair cut or am extremely tired of the same old hair style.

Third, and this is the simplest of all, I NEVER miss my favorite show on TV. Here in Colorado, my favorite show, "Friends", is on twice a day Monday thru Friday and three times on Thursday and once on Sunday. ( Some times I miss Sunday becuz I forget...lol)My family knows that I enjoy watching this show and never get tired of the same old jokes. I laugh every time.

I think it's the laughing that makes me feel so good. That and the fact that my family indulges me in this. The fact that they know that I enjoy it makes me feel validated. I've influenced my kids so much that we have our own little "Friends" language game where we respond to each other sometimes with a line from the show. My daughter even bought me the "Friends" trivia game for Christmas and the only other person who can beat me on it is my son!....I know it sounds pathetic, and other moms have much more extravagant things that they treat themselves to, but these things work for me.

Those are some great tips. I like the lying-under-the-stars idea... I haven't done that since college, when I used to contemplate life, poetry and other "deep" stuff that way (don't laugh!) I think star-gazing is a relaxing activity that would help kids calm down and talk about their feelings, too.

And, Jenna, I like the way you get your teen-age son involved with you... My daughters are much younger, but they are happier about their meals when they get to help prepare them, so helping to pick the food out at the store is another good idea. And showing interest in sports or whatever our kids enjoy is good, too, as well as making sure they know we love them. It all boils down to staying connected with them, doesn't it?

As for your moms' time-out tips ... pampering is definitely helpful to boosting our sense of peace. And taking time for a good laugh (I've taken in a few episodes of "Friends," too), is something we can all do more of.

You shouldn't worry about having "extravagant" ways of relaxing: the best relaxation is one that doesn't take tons of effort (or money)... the more effort, the less stress-reducing, sometimes.

Thanks for your great ideas.

Anyone else?

Sonja :rolling:

I agree that making 15 minutes a day to read is a good time-out tip to build quality time with our kids. I have three girls so reading is a favorite activity at home... and, in my own time, I read magazines, newspapers, parenting and other family/career books and parenting magazines. My reading material of choice has changed since college (it's amazing how having a baby will so completely change your life, isn't it), though; I don't have much time left for some of the "heavier" reading I used to do.

But, as you were saying, making the time to read is very important. Now that my oldest daughter can read I see how those early days of looking at picture books together really all lead up to her first-grade reading books.

By the way, I've taken on another site here at BellaOnline... the Children's Books site. It's a lot of fun.. and a natural extension of the outside work I do reviewing childrens' books for parenting publications. I've just started to re-organize the site and put up a few new reviews. There was already a great collection of Harry Potter reviews and other articles there, and I'm adding more. So, when you have time, come on over and take a look!

Sonja <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My time-out tips are pretty obvious, but they would be:

For Moms: Make sure you take a walk or jog as often as possible. Once a day would be ideal, but even 2 - 3 times a week is helpful. This not only gets you into great physical shape, but it gives you time to yourself, and it leads to more creative, productive ideas. If you don't like walking or running, substitute with your favorite sport like tennis, golf, aerobics... anything that gets you out in the open air or big space so that you have plenty of time to think and relax while working your muscles. Also, be sure to take a nice, relaxing bubble bath as often as possible! This is especially a good idea when you are stressed out or when it is that time of month. Bring your favorite book or magazine, a scented candle, bath oils or bubble bath, and a glass of hot tea or iced tea... anything that's ready to soothe and comfort you! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

For Kids: Don't forget the joys of flying a kite. You can even make your own kites and then go fly them. Take pictures of other kites on the beach or at the park or wherever you are at. Then, make a kite collage to inspire you with beauty and fun. Post it on your wall so that you can look forward to the next time you get to go kite-flying. Also, keep a journal of your daily events and thoughts, or a journal of your dreams if you remember what you dream at night. As you get older you will see how your activities, thoughts, and dreams progress and change, and you will see patterns that help you to discover who you are even better. It is also fun to discuss and compare your dreams with your friends and family members and try to help each other figure out what they might mean.

Sonja- congrats on the new site, that sounds so interesting. I have written book reviews for adults in some publications but I have never tried reviewing books for children. Was it easy or hard to break into the market? Good luck with your site, and I'll be sure to check it out!

Anita,

Thanks for the time-out tips... I think I'll be able to pull some of them together for a nice piece on the site. Your idea of exercising/walking alone is a good one: I used to do a one-mile fitness walk every day at work with a couple of other women at my former job and then another similar walk with good hills after work sometimes. After having kids, my walking is much slower, with kids in tow... except for the bursts of chasing a wayward toddler once in a while.

Walking with kids means frequently stopping to pull a dandelion, say hello to every dog that passes by, chase a squirrel, and, of course, pick up every sort of rock, twig and pine cone and cram it in your tiny pockets.

If moms could get someone to watch the kids for a half hour so they could take a fitness walk by themselves, that would sure be a change of pace. Both walks have their place.

And thank you for your kind words about the new site. I started freelance work reviewing children's books and adult books about parenting, motherhood, etc., for a local parenting publication. I also wrote parenting stories. Then I started selling reprint rights to other parenting publications and soliciting new story assignments from them. Local publications are usual open to buying just reprint rights, which means the pay is lower but you can do volume sales. It's certainly been a different experience than the years I spent as a reporter and then editor at a community newspaper.

There are a lot of places where you could sell your reviews. Have you checked out the Writer's Market?

Sonja